In 1845, Boston had an ordinance banning bathing unless you had a doctor's prescription.
Oddly enough bathing was conducted in the same harbor that the now famous Tea Party was held...and I'll bet if I check my facts...or just make a few up...I'll find that this was the same time that Samuel Adams began brewing and bottling beer...using water from??? That's right the famous Tea Party harbor...and thus was the creation of the first political lobbyist...and the formation of the notion that big business (corporations as they'd be called in the future) could muscle around and influence government simply by tossing around money during an election year! Now if we look a little harder I'm sure we'll find that there were probably a total of 1 doctor in Boston during 1845...it being a young upstart city at the time...and that said Dr was bribed with free Boston lager to keep people from acquiring bathing prescriptions...thereby creating a collective conscience that musta been screaming for a deodorant...anything to hide the smell of dead skunk anus that had to be permeating from every house on the Common...Samuel Adams being the first brewer of Boston was then able to market his beer as an alcoholic aphrodisiac capable of clouding the senses enough to allow people to stomach the presence of their neighbors...as well as enabling single Bostonians the pleasure of experiencing a new sexual position dubbed 'piggy style'...while offering the plausible deniability of memory lapse (blackout)...the whole process doubled the sale of beer in Boston...increased the production of illigetimate children...and began the tree huggin Save the Planet movement...and kept Boston Harbor from being polluted with testicle tainted tea water. Of course I could be completely off my rocker...and the whole bathing prescription baloney could have been caused by the simple fact that Boston...like all other cities in the original 13 colonies was settled by European escape artists...people who no longer wanted to be ruled over by a Royal family...people who...to this day seldom bathe on a daily basis...people who continue...in certain parts of Europe...to bathe in public...on the streets...once a week whether they need it or not...therefore it is entirely possible that Bostonians were simply looking for an excuse to bring with them one thing that had been passed down thru generations back in the old country...a fear of soap and water...razors...personal hygiene...you know...the kinda things that would signal to other early colonial upstart cities that Boston was becoming more cosmopolitan! Boston...founder of beer...bums...and Yolanda the Unibrow Yeti...every Red sox fans dream date...a chick so hairy she can hang with the guys!!!
