Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die...
Well isn't this a fine piece of information to get so late in life...you mean to tell me that after all this money wasted on alcohol...we coulda just bought feathers...WTF...it would appear as tho our tidbit authors are getting a little smarter...incorporating vague terms like 'Every'...and 'some'...in the fact finding funnel of funny information...I pray this tidbit is true...it would shed some much needed light on an otherwise dark and desolate 8 year period in American history...I always wondered why people associated him with Dumbo...well NOT really...I mean come on...the guy was a stone cold slobbering shit for brains who studied stupidsms as a secondary language...but didn't he look a little like Snuffalaphagous...the inevitable long snouted sneezer capable of earth shattering snot fests that left him semi conscious...silly assed...big -eared and ignorant for the rest of his adult life...I mean think about it... it would sure explain alot...perhaps poor old Dumbya just had a condition that resulted in life threatening sneezing fits prior to every important speech of both his terribly turmultuous terms as Keeper of the Common Cents...NOT to be confused with the Common Sense department...from which he was ceremoniously excluded at birth...I can't believe I didn't notice this before...the drooling on the arms of coats...the teary eyed entrance at the site of Ground Zero...the ensuing thoughtless comments that crept out of his mouth...time and time again...all a direct result of the brain cell slaughtering sneeze...I'd feel bad for him if I didn't honestly think that he was some sort of Test Tube Bush Baby experiment gone bad...come on you've seen George Sr and Barbara...they are text book posterchildren for a Norman Rockwell painting that screams..."We can't be this happy cuz we NEVER have sex"... ya don't think they actually intentionally had a kid that damn stupid do ya...couldn't be...Barbara had to have had eggs in cryo storage...frozen for future fornification procedures...and obviously the damn thing hadn't completely thawed before being inseminated...resulting in an overall lower body temperature and recessed growth patterns in the frontal lobe region...making the skull enormously bigger than the object it was designed to protect...thereby increasing the potential for catastrophic brain cell collapse upon projectile sneezing huge gobs of gelatinous misting materials across an entire room...I'll tell ya there are some people who seemed to have turned sneezing into an art form...I won't be able to look at people the same after seeing them sneeze...what happens if you hold it in...do ya kill less cells or more cells do ya think??? I have another theory on this as a matter of fact...and since it quite possibly pertains to Dumbya the Destroyer of wordifications and verbalisticisms...I'll go ahead and explain here...releasing a sneeze with ample force...and at the desired ejection speed of the sneeze...alleviates the human body of any undue stress and evacuates the nasal passages with a the swiftness a tachyon could only hope to achieve...this allows for an immediate recovery by the individual while simultaneously letting them regain their vision...Dumbya was undoubtedly of the latter variety of sneezer...the kind that tries to hold it in...this is a very detrimental method of escaping a reaction to a nasally induced tickle tantrum...holding back all that speed and relative force equates to the body having to absorb all of that excess energy...think of the inside of the human body as a canyon...when you hold back the sneeze the force just continues to rebound or echo off the walls of the body...since sneezing occurs in the cranial region of the human shell...it stands to reason that your poor little pea is going to continue bouncing off the pod walls until the reverberations run thru your feet...NOW does it make sense...DUMBYA had to have spent every moment off camera with a feather stuck up his nose...and he isn't the only one...there are a ton of people who still think he did a good job...they're Sunday Sneezers...wreaking enough havok in their head to believe what they just heard was the most intellligent oration of their entire lives...his nickname shoulda been the Ayatollah of Ah-Choo!!!
