Revolvers cannot be silenced because of all the noisy gasses which escape the cylinder gap at the rear of the barrel...
I can think of a few other things in life that share a similar trait with the Revolver...Politicians are seldom able to be silenced...and if ya think the noisy gasses escaping the gap at the rear of the barrel on a revolver are loud...listen to one of these turdmongers trip the light fantastic...most of them have subliminal tapes they recorded themselves just so they can listen to themselves while they sleep...Over enthusiastic Legal Counsel...they're another buncha noisy gas passin' blowhards...if you get one of these things to quiet down prior to dying...be sure to annotate your procedures accordingly...as the Roman Catholic Church requires some sort of documentation in order to be cannonized a saint...my ass after a spicy Mexican meal...unable to be silenced at all...believe me I've tried...remember the fairy tale of the Princess and the Pea...picture me with 10 King size mattresses strapped to my ass...and it still registers at 79 decibels...slightly lower than...someone who shall remain cloaked in secrecy...and their purported snoring capability...my children...who seem to think that the entire world revolves around them...and fire off excuses louder and quicker than last years Quick Draw Champion and his favorite six shooter...and just for the record...I wholeheartedly disagree with this author's assessment of the quieting capabilities of a revolver...I don't own a revolver presently...alth I have in the past...and I'll be completely honest with you...the best way to silence any weapon is NOT to load it...remarkably it takes on the identical charcter traits of a knick knack...pretty to look at...nice conversation piece...completely quiet whether in use or just lying around...and if you don't think it's still an effective weapon without ammo...you've obviously NEVER seen Mr. Wayne or Eastwood pistol whip some poor underpaid immigrant actor...and on a pertinent side note...revolvers are kinda like the moped...an outdated source of meeting in the middle...the moped bridges the gap between a pedal bike and a REAL motorcycle...much the same way a revolver bridges the gap between throwing stones and an automatic weapon...NOBODY uses these things anymore except out of absolute neccessity...you show up to a gunfight in this day and age...toting a revolver...and you may as well purchase a plot and get your headstone ready...you're NOT gonna be with us much longer...and I'm sure there are a few wizards of weaponry who would disagree...however most Native American historians will attest that a single fire arrow slinger was ineffective against the revolver as well as the first repeating rifle...the sad thing is...it takes far less to silence the greatest weapons of the known world...quite often it is accomplished thru defamation of character...corrupt methods of government...and as a last resort...solitary confinement...keeping those gifted with the ability of inception under wraps...or publishing sufficient bullshit material to dispute an otherwise lucid...logical thought process...it is all too common that the things needing to be silenced the most are often the loudest...most annoyingly obnoxious...gas passin' assbags to ever unneccessarily deplete the world's oxygen reserves...you have NO idea how long I have been working on my lifelong invention...the Moron Muffling System...similar to a silencer for weapons other than a revolver...you jam it down the throat of somebody desperately needing a definitive solution to spilling shit all over their shirt when they attempt to orate in public or private...once I get the damn thing perfected I'm going to offer it with other products I have in mind...in escalating packages...kinda like your local cable company and their affinity for overusing the term 'BUNDLE'...you can get just the MMS for 3 monthly installments of $1399.99...(that's $1400.00 for those of you who happen to fall for the everpresent attribute associated with misleading a consumer during the sales process)...or you can upgrade to the MMS with what I intend to label the Linguistic Liason...a device specifically suited for those still suffering from misunderstanding the stupidity ingrained in deciphering Dubya-isms...the MMS/LL package can be yours today for the low low price of 3 monthly installments of $1599.99...(PLEASE...don't make me do the math again...I toldja already it'sa trick...try and keep up)...and finally I will offer a third invention called the Intervention Interpreter...(Do people often look dazed...confused...confounded...everytime you open your garbage spewing gullet to speechify about a subject???) Then the Intervention Interpreter is right up your alley...it takes the mind wandering waste produced by the anal-optic nerve and translates it into a truth formula capable of being realized by every 2 legged thinking terra treader...the MMS/LL/II system is being offered as a one time opportunity NOT to be missed...we've priced this product so low even socially unacceptable sock puppets can participate for mere pennies on the dollar...(which btw just increased in value...the penny...NOT the dollar...it now costs in excess of 2 cents to mint a single cent...and yet all those Harvard/Yale Economics graduates employed in that government sector can't seem to figure out how to get rid of this useless f**kin' financial eyesore)...normally...similar products of this magnitude retail for $1,999.99...but you won't hafta pay anywhere near that price if you click the button below and select your method of payment today...your 3 monthly installments of $665.99 should set your mind at ease...you also get our 30 day Triple Your Money Back Guarantee...the first of it's kind in the industry...if you're NOT completely satisfied...I mean 100%...without a doubt happy asa hell with this product....simply return it in it's UNOPENED package for a full...NO questions asked refund of triple your purchase price...all returns must be postmarked for return within 37 days of placing your order...please allow 45-60 days for arrival of merchandise...altho your credit card will be charged immediately...pending approval of proprietor...all applicants are subject to the approval process...(which means that if I determine you to be a dipshitted dunderhead all bets are off)...those who don't qualify can call our Customer Service Center for a rapid refund...that number is 1-800- F**k Me Runnin'...leave a detailed message and someone will return your call within the next 60 business days...excluding weekends...holidays...and days I call in sick...if you haven't received your promised material...or a refund at your request...within one calendar year from date of purchase...write it off on your taxes as a loss...what the hell...if big business can do it...I'm sure you can find an accountant to assist in your unethical endeavors at recompensation...(don't know what to think now...do ya??? Left ya a little speechless...didn't it??? Aside from a bit of laughter...a chuckle here and there...I'll bet it's so quiet you could here a pin drop) Silenced the crowd and the only things revolving were the wheels in your head...now...for those of you who completely missed the purpose of this piss poor punctuated paragraph...please send payment in the form of a Cashier's Check/Money Order...(sorry for the inconvenience...but as the saying goes...In God We Trust...All Others Cough Up Cash...and those 2 methods are as close to cash as you can get without a counterfeiting contraption...you can make them payable to the Forefather of Freeing Mindless Meatsacks from the Mortal Coil...at the following address...101 I Can't Believe I Just Got Assbanged Again Avenue...Suite BS (that's for Brittany Spears...NOT Bull Shit)...also known as the 'Ooops I Did It Again' Atrium...Mortified Like A Mad Bastard, Michigan 499.99!!!
