The temperature of a fart at the moment of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit...
Well know aren't we all a little smarter...seeing as how the normothermia or euthermia...which is the normal temperature range of the human body is 98.6 degrees F...something EVERYONE that has ever had a biology class will be able to identify with...which in turn means that the cranial cavity of the anal vapor connoisseur that came up with this tidbit is slightly higher...probably in the range of 101.5 degrees F...since they have apparently elected to determine the internal temperature of the fart producing combustion chamber...through osmotic methods consisting of cramming their cabeza firmly between the cheeks of their own caca chute...and here again we find ourselves focusing too much on what the tidbit boasts...rather than what it says about those that read it and accept it at face value...how many of you can identify what is wrong with the information displayed above??? ANYONE...oh come on now class...NOBODY is EVER gonna graduate and get their Diploma if we can't all stay on the same page and continue to think logically...okay...time's up...pencils down and papers forward please...the correct answer is TEMPERATURE...it should NOT be the primary concern associated with vulgar vaporous vacuums created by anal air escapage...I myself have had several occasions in which I have purposely floated an air biscuit in the general vicinity of unsuspecting individuals...and NOT once has any of them gone running from the room...peeling their clothes off because the excess of heat in the immediate area became too stifling...NO folks...the temperature of a fart at the moment of creation is NOT what people tend to focus on when one of these hairy butt nugget bellows forth like a blue whale breaching the surface for another gulp of air...people in general tend to run screaming from these indecent incidents with their noses covered and tears streaming from their eyes...in situations where I am involved...they tend to trip the light fantastic with tachyon speed...trust me...it's like being maskless in mausoleum full of mustard gas...there's no where to run...no where to hide...it's like being caught by the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz...I'll get you my pretty...and while the ambient temperature of the room I trap you in for the unearthly experience will NOT rise drastically...it is still possible for paint to peel from the walls...for body hair to become singed...for eyes to lose focus...in rare cases even an upsetting of the equilibrium has been noticed...this is documented by the bevy of butt breath breathers that bounce from wall to wall trying to find the exit...I have NEVER been sitting somewhere and let a lap lifter flow and had somebody say..."Didja turn up the heat in here...it's awful damn hot"...NOT one single time...probably because the taste is worse than the smell...so it's better to keep your mouth shut in all instances of intestinal invasion...so as to refrain from regurgitation...people that are overly concerned with the temperature of a burp from the brown eye...are delusional at best...for them it is too late to shift gears and change directions...NO matter how hard you try to convince them otherwise...they will continue to crawl around collecting incorrect information in regards to rapid rectal evacuation mechanics...I'll letcha in on a little secret...you have a better chance of surviving a situation involving stepping in Sasquatch shit...than you do of escaping with your faculties intact if you are in the same room with me when I masticate something that manufactures a multitude of methane...seems to run in the family as well...my same sex sibling was once mistaken for a bear on a hunting trip in the Redwoods of California...while taking a break for lunch one day...my younger brother Shaun ripped a rectal rat of epic proportions...I have NEVER seen anyone move with such wreckless abandon and super sonic survival speed...our step-father and expert hunting guide at the time...dropped everything but his bowels in an...'I'll save the world'...grab for his gun...that man racked a live round into the chamber and surveyed the scene like a future member of Seal Team Six on the hunt for Osama...it was scary as hell since Shaun and I were both fairly sure he had flipped his feeble mind...the memory is so surreal I can still see every second as if it were slowed down in some sort of twisted time warp...and I dare say it wasn't the temperature of the turbulent turd turbine that tempted him to act on instinct...it wasn't even initially the smell...it was the super sonic sound and echo through the forest...had I NOT been sitting on the rock next to Shaun...and recognized the anal escapage for what it was...I could very well have grown up thinking I had heard the screams of a day watching wookie known outside the Star Wars community as a Sasquatch...and with that I suppose our time here today has come to an end...for those that are concerned about the aspect of being offensive when orating anally...I recommend ramming rose petals into the poop hole protectors you place on your person in the hope of harnessing a more attractive aroma for your dark eye departures!!!
