During WWII Americans tried to train bats to drop bombs...
Why am I NOT surprised by this??? Because I know the intelligence level required to operate within the parameters of the United States Military...they aren't a group with a million acronyms for no reason...I am, however shocked that this wasn't some sort of clandestine caper which also would have included... Sabotaging and sinking submarines using torpedo toting sea slugs...seriously...bomb dropping bats...how on earth does somebody...who everyone would have a right hoping...with military...war-making...survival skills...with a warrior spirit and the undying will to obtain victory...hatch a hair brain idea like this...who were you plan on figthing...the Oompah Loompahs...maybe Dorothy and the Munchkins...Snow Whites Seven Dwarves...how big of a bomb do ya suppose a bat could carry??? How far do ya think it might fly before falling from the sky with this enormous arsenal strapped to it's body...and how exactly didja figure these little blood suckin' creatures were going to engage a release handle at the appropriate moment to drop the bomb...how do you conceive of an idea like this without answering those few valid questions??? I'll tell ya how...it's called 'bucking for promotion'...and ya know what happens to those whose ideas are obvious failures from the start...they are selected first for the highest positions...they don't wanna hear logical ideas of solving problems...that would go against the grain...can't have stuff like that happening... people might think soldiers can think for themselves...I would have loved to have been around when this littel experiment was being discussed...I woulda solved very simply...with little to no cost to the American taxpayer it was designed to protect...the best way to train a bat to drop a bomb...superglue it's feet to one of the bombs fins...open the bomb bay doors and let them fall...I guarantee each and every one of those bats drops their bombs...at the moment of impact...because that's the only LOGICAL way to solve that situation...far too often our governmental geniuses tend to overthink the simplest of tasks...this tidbit reminds me of something I found recently...'When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball point pens would not work in zero gravity. To correct the problem, NASA spent $12 billion dollars over a decade to develop a pen that works in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, and almost on any surface, including glass and at temperatures at from below freezing up to 300 degrees celsius...The Russians used a Pencil'...this had to be in play in this person's thought process when assigned to develop new ideas in the field of stealth bomb delivery systems...I wonder how long this program was allowed to suck off funds that woulda been better used hunting down the real E.T. Exposure Law violaters...this...is an example of why our country desperately needs an overhaul folks... taxpayer dollars pay for these illustrious well thought out projects...which adversely affects those assinine assumptions of granduer...like planes...big enough to carry the bombs to their pre determined destination for deployment...I mean seriously...you people came up with a parachute for people...and yet...bats for bombs was your next best bet for ingenuity and invention...I mean...why not try to train armadilloes to launch armory shells...or train legless lizards to detect land mines...I mean what the hell...don't stop at bats for bombs...it seems so incomplete...coming from such a connosieur of carnage...where did this guy get his combat experience...shadow boxing in a dry well at night with no moonlight no doubt...you'd hafta harness several squadrons of bats for each and every bomb...then you'd hafta get your enemy to emit a sound similar to the chosen...bomb bearing bats...food source, in order for this to even have a hope in hell of smelling anything remotely resembling success...you have a better shot of asking them nicely to surrender and stand still for a firing squad...it was probably one of this very individuals inventions that resulted in it taking a decade to find bin Laden...getting the radar detecting raccoons to rummage thru all the rubbish one tin can at a time thru every -istan in the neighborhood was bound to take a little longer than actually using all those elaborately expensive satellites we have in orbit...or is that all just more Hollywood inspired smoke and mirrors...when ya think about it...doesn't it make ya wonder...if only for a moment...how we went from bomb dropping bats...to smart bombs and stealth technology...without a little alien intervention...I mean come on...if this was what our brightest military strategists were considering...either aliens stepped in and said...'Hold up...wait a second...lemme show ya something...in order for you to drop this explosive device at the required location you're going to need something a little more capable of escaping gravity than three airborne battalions of bats...or...we were fortunate enough to have the right kinda idiots in the infantry who knew how to ignore orders from the sinners of stealth technology...and who were prepared to forge all the way thru to China if necessary...otherwise I dare say WWII would've ended decidedly disastrous for our defeated nocturnal knights...whose battle cry would have went down in history as...'Whaddaya mean...Was that Berlin?'...and I would be remiss if I didn't point out that altho my method of training these bats would have worked...it had already been perfected in the Pacific theater by the Kamikaze...on a much larger scale...I doubt very seriously...and after several moments of thoughtless consideration...that bats would have been an effective tool of weaponry...on any level...or on any battlefield ever to have blood shed upon it...and here's why...because enemies who are afraid of bats...aren't going to come out at night...therefore...even if you do train your bats to drop bombs...who are they going to drop them on...sometimes it hurts when ya hafta get all the way down on your belly...crawl under the couch...and suffer bouts of claustrophobia just to get to a level equivalent with the solid grey matter smoldering inside these shit for brains shells of humanity...so you can explain to them in a manner they will comprehend...why this particular notion...doesn't warrant further investigation...I was in the military...and if I am to be honest...it is the enlisted corps in each and every branch that possesses the keenest of minds capable of strategic concepts...for they are the foot soldiers on the front lines...(improvise...adapt...and overcome)...things that cannot be accomplished on the drawing boards of back office blowhards with nothing better to do than envision little winged rats trying to rid themselves of the ridiculous costume they're rigged into while some moron stands there motioning them to...'fly...be free'...does anyone know the name of this idiot of inception??? Nobody??? Come on...I can't believe nobody knows...well don't feel bad...I don't either...and for good reason...we WON that WAR...and NOT one single bat ever made it to Berlin...How bout that...maybe next time you eat a whole bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better idea than that!!!
