The nursery rhyme 'Ring around the Rosey' is a rhyme about the plague...infected people would get red circular sores...(Ring Around the Rosey...)
Ya know it's funny the things ya learn about once you breach adulthood and begin to explore things yourself...there isn't a kid alive...back then...or antime since...who has recited these lyrics and had a clue as to what they meant...I'm pretty sure I didn't...it was a nursery rhyme coupled sang while holding hands in a circle...and spinning around til we...'all fell down'...little did we know that we were being taught the fine art of 'hazing'...that time honored...institutionalized tradition that is only now coming under fire...see the problem here...I'll guarantee you with damn near absolute certainty almost every child in America has been taught this song...without the benefit of knowledge necessary to realize this little tune and accompanying game were in fact a morbid attempt at poking fun of people doomed to die...there was no cure for this epidemic...the only reason it came to an end at all is because of the Great London Fire...which killed off the rats carryin the disease...yet the dunderheads of the day thought it better to drum up a little lyric to teach their children how to cope with diseased people in their neighborhood...NOT one single person had the ingenuity to realize...FIRE was the cure to decimating this deadly disease...and guess what??? FIRE appears to be the 'end all...be all' answer to everything in existence...including disease...lemme guess...some of you need more proof...here's a great example...get up...right now...gett outta your chair...walk from behind your desk...go to the nearest window...now tilt your head skyward...notice that big...bright...shimmering...ball of FIRE we call the SUN...it is completely disease free...guaranteed...no scientific experiment necessary...no disease...never has been...never will be...want a closer to home example??? Perfect...I thought you might...so I came prepared...stop on your way home...local hardware...or big box superstore...doesn't matter...buy yourself a small handheld gas torch...take it home with you....head straight to the bathroom...I don't care how anal you are with bathroom cleaning habits...this place is crawling with bacteria...(see Mythbusters episode about fecal matter permeating the atmosphere)...even if you just spent thousands of dollars on a brand new Turdmeister 2000 terlet...shit doesn't just happen...it splatters...now...grab something in the general vicinity...say...you're favorite hog's hair toofbrush...if you seriously wanna subject this little tooth cleaning tool to Electro Spectro Cardigraphs...or what-the-fuck-ever they use to conduct excrement escaping experiments...be my guess...it's your money...the results are gonna be the same...there's fecal matter on your flouride scrubber...trust me...now light that handheld torch...and please by all means...keep the lit end away from your face...I need a lawsuit like Wimpy needs another hamburger...once you have the flame dialed in correctly...the nice blue glow...touch the flaming end to your toothbrush...don't just wave it across from one end to the other...hold it there til the chemical composition begins to deteriorate...(til it melts...in other words...for you non-scientifically astute few)...pay close attention...if you do this right...you'll need to go out and buy a new one as soon as everything drips into a plastic puddle of proof on the sink counter...startin' to see the light...FIRE is a great utensil to be used in the immediate termination of germs...bacteria...disease...it's exteremly under-rated for medicinal purposes...and is often mis-used when applied to disease controlling efforts...take for instance the Great Earthquake and subsequent FIRE of San Francisco of 1906...didn't do a thing for disease control...now I know most of you are wondering...'What does that hafta do with this topic...if it didn't cure an epidemic disease...what possible insight could one obtain?'...Timing...1906 was about 74 years too early...AIDS didn't punch a hole on the societal scene until the '80's...you move that FIRE back to 1986...AIDS woulda been a footnote in some Journal of Medicine seldom checked out at the hospital library...how about the Great FIRE of Chicago in 1871...again...Timing...much too early to do any good...the Mafia hadn't migrated that far West yet...move it to the 1930's...organized crime would have been contained to the upper East Coast...a problem we could easily rectify by selling that section to Canada for future use in their UFO launch pad program...FIRE expunges areas of all kinds of deathly related things...and actually is the first step in rebirth for most living things...unfortunately NOT the born-again Christian crowd however...it should be...but alas...for every rule there is an exception...FIRE rid the world of witches back in the good old days of Salem...stands to reason it could just as effectively ash up a few anal plunging AIDS spreading butt pirates wouldn't ya think...sure it's barbaric...but then again we live in a day not far removed from treating outcasts cruelly...still happens in certain sectors of overseas societies...if waterboarding terrorists is acceptable as long as we do it in Cuba...I don't see what harm flaming a few closet queens can do...the spin doctors fo mass media are sure to give it a nice twist...bury it in some back pages paragraph next to the Obituaries...barely noticeable and easily forgotten...hell I know a few diseased bastards in D.C. that could use a torching or two...and NO I don't mean Dubya...altho NOT a born again Christian...apparently FIRE can't fix Stupid on such a magnificent scale!!!
