Average number of days a West German goes without washing their underwear: 7
That should be NO big surprise to anyone of the female gender who has ever done laundry...for themselves...or a whole family...laundry is not an everyday chore...want proof...I don't wear restrictive undergarments of any sort...however I do wear clothes...and the average number of days they go without being washed: 7...once a week...because contrary to popular belief...the local laundr-o-mat is not a haven for picking up hot women...and I have other shit I'd like to do with my life than make sure all the clothes I'm not currently wearing are 100% clean...I have more...as long as they're NOT strewn all over the floor...the hamper isn't overflowing...and I can still find something on a hanger in the closet...who needs to do assloads of laundry??? This tidbit was a well crafted disguise to see who was actually paying attention...NO I didn't come up with it myself...but I give mad appreciation to the like minded genius who did...I'll bet more than half of you read that initial statement and thought...THAT'S GROSS... when in actuality...everyone of you who is absent a clothes cleaning OCD probably does the very same thing...think about it...today is Monday...if you're ass doesn't wash the clothes you're currently wearing before the weekend...which by the way was when you last did laundry...then you have great potential for living in West Germany as an American ex-patriate...it's funny when you see people read something...or hear something...and they curl up their nose and scrunch up their faces... like they just gotta big whiff of Sasquatch shit and 3 month old garbage...only to see their reaction... at times like these...when it is finally revealed to them that the very thing they turned their nose up to just a mere matter of moments ago...they too are more than guilty of...NOW...had the tidbit informed us that these people living in West Germany didn't change their underwear for an average of 7 days...I probably woulda informed those of you familiar with WWII history...as seen thru my eyes...that the overwhelming...pungent...genital stench spewing forth from the Western side of Germany...was the sole reason for the construction of the Berlin Wall...the prevailing jet stream...which is created by the earth's rotational spin...runs West to East...this incomprehensible concept for some...is what pushed this squallid...ball-sac...spoiled yeast and yogurt...anally accented aroma to permeate the Eastern side of Berlin...which...if viewed from that perspective...sheds a whole new light on the war-time 'atrocities' that were committed by Hitler's Nazi regime...they weren't rounding up tattooed bald people for gassing...just so they could exterminate a race of people they found despicable...they were trying to stiffle the smell of those shit smellin'...sheep farmers...who didn't wash for a week...they had tried several other methods of masking the smell to NO avail...apparently preparing human flesh with a burning...suffocating material like noxious gas...allowing the bodies to marinade in it until they stopped moving...and then burning them in huge abundance was all it took to firmly stomp out the smell of their freedom loving family and friends who couldn't afford water...now I'm NOT trying to condone what occured over there during that war...often times I use different groups of people in my daily commentary...sometimes to make light of an unsavorable situation...and if that bothers any of you...SO WHAT...it's my blog...deal with it...LOL...no but seriously...certain ethnicities associated with atrocities throughout human history...seem to feel that they deserve a special status...or that they are OWED something...and I guess to a degree...I agree with them...if you personally...as a member of an ethnicity...or religious group...or whatever conglomeration of crap you belong too...have been systematically subjected to cruel...unusual...inhumane acts against the entire lot of your kind...you are a survivor of said atrocity...and feel that somebody OWES you something...I say...GO GET IT...FROM THEM...those who committed the act against your kind...don't stand around for 30-40-50 years and keep cryin' the same old bullshit...we are all aware of how bad the Nazi's treated the Jews...but...if you are devoutly religious...and believe in a faith involving Jesus Christ as the one true Son of God...the you know there isn't one single Jew in heaven...killing the Creator's only heir to the throne...granted he'll NEVER get to sit in it either way...dead or alive...is a crime punishable by eternal damnation in a place called HELL...maybe the Nazi's were just trying to speed up the process...I'm well aware that several people exist today who are direct descendants of the people who were lead into those gas chambers...and they're probably extremely offended if they happen to be reading this...and that really is sad...because here's the thing...your people killed Jesus...and were eventually used to mask an unpleasant aroma to the tune of a couple million...they were then given reparations for the atrocities committed against them in the form of ill-gotten spoils...awarded to ease the pain and suffering...finally ending up owning every square inch of available space in Hollywood...and damn near every financial institution in America...and WE were the ones who saved them...WTF...maybe we shoulda waited a couple more years before getting involved...suddenly sacrificing American soldiers in Europe in trade for a future full of movies out of Hollywood that shoulda stayed in unread book form...and a shitty economy...doesn't seem like such a good decision does it...sure we coulda dropped the bombs on Germany instead of Japan...and tried to fight a naval battle chasing ships around an island spotted open ocean...but that isn't what happened...apparently you can't use nuclear weapons as a trump card against dictators who use gas on people...even tho it wasn't in order to mask the smell of 7 day old... sweat stained...shit dweller's...and when ya stop to think about the message that would have sent to the global public...we probably wouldn't have half the problems we do today...drop a bomb on the gas-loving Nazi's during WWII...you'd have solid evidence to point to when threatening other countries...Iraq steps outta control in 1991...invades another country...is accused of gassing Kurds...hey dipshit...did you see what we did in WWII...and they were trying to cover up the smell of dirty socks and underwear...they woulda backed the hell outta Kuwait in hours...instead we sent the message that if you sink all of our boats when we decide to park them next to each other in a closed and confined space...we will take the technology we stole from the scientists of the gas-friendly German regime...and try and annihilate you're entire country...yet you don't seem to hear the people of Japan cry about what we did to millions of their ancestors...NOT over several years...in a SINGLE DAY...and you know why...because we are a country that isn't concerned with the war-time atrocities we commit against others...we are only concerned with the atrocities they commit against others... that's a very omnipotent characteristic that has been present in every FAILED Empire throughout history...if we are NOT careful and concerned for those who volunteer their lives in support of an Imperialistic effort towrds worldwide...'DEMOCRACY'...as it is often misnamed...we may find ourselves one day sharing a southern border with a buncha people who only bathe when they're swimming for our shores...or be invaded and conquered by a country that can't seem to control it's population within it's own borders...and NOT necessarily in a militaristic style...or have those two things already happened??? Where are my 7 day old...skid-marked...skivvies when I need them?!?!
