An average person's nose produces a copy of mucous a day, most of which dries and protects the membrane...
Alright folks...well let's getta few things outta the way...big weekend...the TIGERS...my 2nd favorite team...SWEPT my vaulted YANKEES right outta the ALCS...and BIG BROTHER BLUE...finally handed SPARTY his ass on Saturday for the first time since DICK ROD was coach...so great news for sports fans from the state of Michigan...well at least for those who are fans of the ONLY real football team in town...you Lions fans are gonna hafta suck it up another 40 years by the looks of it last year was a fluke...kinda like the ONLY year Wayne Fontes took them to 12-4...I say this because the Lions play alot like the Yankees...they don't show up until the 4th quarter...and unless you have the King of Comebacks at Quarterback...John Elway...you're NOT gonna win many games that way...okay...so now...onward and upward...I'm NOT sure if this is a typo or what...but WTF is a COPY of mucous...a COAT of mucous perhaps...but a COPY is something produced to resemble an original...and if you have an original COAT of mucous in your nose...that has dried and is in the process of providing protection...gonna be kinda hard to get a COPY to come pokin' thru don'tcha think...I have a very hard time believing that it dries and protects anything membranous or NOT...dried mucous comes out in nice tiny little packages called nasal nuggets...boogers...schnozz clogs...the rest of it remains rather damp and moist...we call that nostril nectar...or nasal hair gel...wet slimy...green and gooey...and in far greater abundance than the dried version...ya know what protects the inner passages of your dual chambered oxygen absorber...a forest of finely feathered hair follicles...some of which are so long...I dare say if ya pluck 'em you'll start losin' eyebrows...at least as far as I can tell...having had to conduct a few deforestation projects myself...I've actually felt my eyelid twitch a time or two...and I get to mine before they fall below the lower edge of the nostril and into plain view for the general public to ogle over and comment on...so I know some of ya are having some serious difficulty with yours cuz they blend into your moustaches...ya sick bastards...I swear...what possesses you people to step outside looking like that...do you have an avoidance issue with all of the mirrors in your house??? Do you live alone??? I mean somethin' hasta signal the flooding of follicles falling outta your foul fume finder...and just what is an average person...do unaverage people produce more...or less juice to protect their junk...whaddaya figure a guy like Karl Malden cranks out on a daily basis...a gallon of green goo or more...the NOSE...along with the ears...are the only two features of the human body that continue to grow throughout the life cycle...stands ta reason that the older a person gets the more shit they have flowin' through their nose...but there is NOTHING average about the size of a person's nose...an average of the entire world's population...assuming a nose is present at birth...would be an impossible estimate to determine...every ethnicity on the planet has specific facial features...especially in and around the nasal area...it goes without saying that the desert dwellers on the African continent have significantly larger schnozz clog cannons than do people on the Asian continent...take a look around your own office...there is at least one person with a slender nose profile that makes ya wonder how they breathe...how do they supply oxygen to the brain thru that little thing...it's gotta be like trying to siphon gas thru a straw...and there will be at least one among you with a nose that looks like it's part of some secret nasal fleet...the US Navy uses it as an extra aircraft carrier during times of war...thing so big it scares small children...when these people breathe hurricanes form off the coast of Florida...you know the type...they can smell someone take a shit in South Africa while standing at the South Pole...it's like a dual vortex black hole...time comes to a standstill when they sit across the desk from you...everything is in slow motion...ya find yourself fearing the fall...ya sit there staring at that schnozz wondering how on Earth you are ever going to escape its gravitational pull......when these people sneeze...they produce a tornado like breeze...that flattens grass and uproots trees!!!
