HERE KITTY

To control foot odor, fill a couple of old socks with scented cat litter, tie them shut, and stuff them in your shoes overnight...

Let's see...how long is this gonna take on a Monday Moanin' kinda mornin...before somebody sees the light bulb???  AH...There it is...3rd row back...guy in the grey tweed sweater vest...with the shrimp cocktail colored hair...yeah you...what did you come up with...True or False???   ENNNNN...wrong answer...it's TRUE...but NOT for the reasons you might think...see if you have an outdoor cat...like I do..and if you don't...SHAME on you...why don't you try living inside the 4 walls of your house for a lifetime and see how you like it...they're pets...NOT prisoners...NOT that I'm an activist...blow that shit out your ass...Man hasta eat...and VEGETATION...is for HERBIVORE's...of which I am NOT...anyway...before I touch that pipe again...where was I...OH YEAH...'if you have an outdoor cat...like I do...' right...now I gotcha...then you probably don't have a litter box in your house...and therefore you wouldn't have any litter readily available...which requires a trip to the store for a bag of scented cat litter...(and this is where the author and I disagree...scented or unscented...it isn't gonna matter...actually it will appear quite insignificant the further we go down this rabbit hole...Alice and I)...once the litter selection has been made...and any old bag will do...pick the one with the cutest picture...I don't care...that's irrelevant too...make the necessary purchase and proceed home...grab a couple of old socks...stuff them with whichever nasal flavored cat litter you bought...you don't really need to tie them shut...you can if you want to...but it isn't entirely necessary...and shove those bad mamma jamma's in your foul smellin'...swamp rottin'...toe fungus fumigating footwear and stand back...Oh don't worry...no need to be alarmed...there isn't gonna be a chemical reaction or anything hazard...I mean there might be a few plumes or wisps of smoke that rise from the cavity of the crusty topped tennies...but nothing should like explode or erupt...if this happens...seek an amputee specialist...and pray the stench doesn't spread to your shins...otherwise the real fun won't start until your outdoor cat comes home...sniffs out the cat litter filled shoes and realizes it doesn't hafta piss and shit outside AFTERALL...you will wake up in the morning with an entirely new smell to your sneakers...I'll damn near guarantee it...and if by chance your cat doesn't come home over night...and you have unused cat litter still in your shoes...don't go gettin' all giddy...ya still gotta wear the things in public...and if ya do alot of walkin'...you should be the hottest attraction in town for all the strays...kick your shoes off outside a Chinese Westawaunt and use them as BAIT..."Dinner's on me tonight fella's"...I'll tell ya what...try this little trick and then go see the Lions and Tigers at your nearby Circus...if one's available...see where that gets ya...you think foot odor was a problem...wait til every cat in the neighborhood wants to shit in your shoe...ya wanna know how a moron of this magnitude should have controlled foot odor...by NOT placing the damn thing in his mouth...obviously the shit spewin' from that glorious cake hole of his got wedged between the toes and fermented...like the shitty ideas in his head...what kinda f**knut popped you outta it's pooper during a botched breach delivery...holy crap...what's next...somebody gonna start sportin' scented dryer sheets in their skivvies...make all the ladies think ya lay down logs of lavender...I mean really...if you have foul smellin' feet it's because your lazy ass can't spare the time to bend over in the shower and wash them...or you're too lazy to do laundry...how long have ya had that same pair of socks on...they're startin' to fade a bit at the ankle line their Sasquatch...might wanna consider usin a pair with a little less miles on it...maybe something that can still be folded without a hammer and anvil...FOOT ODOR is caused by improper maintenance of the foot itself...your feet need to breathe...they are a primary source of heat release from the body...keeping them cramped up in socks and shoes all day and through the night...SUFFOCATES them...causes them to perspire excessively...and ultimately results in the PUTREFACTION of the Pedestial Path Punchers we call feet...Foot Fungus...such as Athlete's Foot...or worse yet...the dreaded Jungle Rot...and as a person that knows all too well how absolutely painful it can be...let me tell you what has worked for me...without fail damn near every time it begins to show up...FRESH AIR...I keep my feet out of socks and shoes as much as possible...we are animals people...just like the other creatures...you don't see them runnin' around with shoes made from the flesh of their human victims do ya???  And most of them have no complaints about foot odor...or fungus...ya don't see people run around with gloves on their hands all day do ya???  NO...because the same damn thing would happen...you'd throw up every time ya hadta shake somebodies half-clammy assed hand...nasty bastahd...WHY I OUGHTTA...pay attention to what our body tells ya...we weren't born with socks and shoes on...or all these other fancy fashionable things...why must we break with the tradition of the rest of the Animal Kingdom and continue to cover our bodies???  DON'T ANSWER THAT...I don't ask a question unless I already know the answer myself...WHY??? Because I am the only one I trust with my belief system...and I believe that if we didn't cover our bodies...FOOT ODOR wouldn't even be in our VOCABULARY...there would only be one 4 letter "F" word on the planet...and it's already being used UNIVERSALLY!!!