Dublin is the home to the Fairy Investigation Society...
This is much like yesterday's tidbit...No real surprise there...considering it's also home to Alcoholics Synonymous...a group so inebriated they could give a shit less what you sober people think...to them a 12 step program just means there's a bar upstairs too...they drink beer for breakfast...from BIRTH...at least those who are bottle fed...those who are breast fed get a shot of Momma McGuillicutty's Mammory Gland Moonshine...so it's NO damn wonder they have a society dedicated to investigating fairies...they believe in little green garbed leprechaun's too...these people are the only known inhabitants of our planet who are born intoxicated at a molecular level...when it comes to understanding inebriation and it's effects on the body, mind, and soul...you couldn't ask for a better subject to study...this little Fairy Finding Forum probably meets at a different local pub on all days ending in 'y'...probably have their own version of Sasquatch...Half-pint Hairy...only comes out when he's high on hooch...which means he should be a helluvalot easier to find than the imaginary ones being stalked around the forests of America...I hafta admit I'm more than a bit curious which side sponsors this Society...the Catholics or the Protestants...I mean is a Fairy Investigation similar to an Exorcism Investigation...what's the proper protocol for reporting a Fairy Sighting to the Investigating Society...is there an 800 number...who ya gonna call...Fairy Dusters...3 guys show up in a carriage that looks like it could collapse back into a pumpkin at any moment...dressed in tights...wearing wings...and tiara's...(whoops...my bad wrong kind of fairy)...but seriously whaddaya get...3 drunk guys stumble thru your front door...raid the refrigerator...plop down on the couch...watch a wee bit o' the tele...just before they pass out with half a pint of pilsner pouring down their pants... did you know that the average Irish individual excretes enough ethanol by age eleven to be considered at high risk for spontaneous combustion if contained in climates above 80 degrees F...I don't wanna stereotype an entire nation with the stigma of being a band of butt drunk boozehounds but when you're bellyin' up to the bar for one final round before attending Sunday Service with the bland ass biscuit baking bunch...you're toein' the fine line of having a drinkin' problem...ya know what they DON'T see alot of in Dublin...or all of Ireland for that matter...UFO's...and for very good reason...drunk people love to debate...drunk Irish people love to debate flying things...like Fairies and other airborne objects...so it's seldom they don't settle on a satisfactory answer for what they think they saw...kinda confusing isn't it...sorta like all those famous Irish Drinking songs that NOBODY really knows the words too...you know the ones...where they mumble thru the lyrics like they have a mouthful of marbles...'til they get to the chorus...then everybody's an audience and they scream at the top of their lungs..."Oh Danny Boy!'...you could change every word but the chorus and NONE would be the wiser...that's what decades of overindulgence leads to...Chronic Mush Melon Syndrome...times...dates...places...and faces all become a blur...think I'm joking...try sitting across the table from a feeble little old lady who hase been high-ballin' it since just before dawn...just the 2 of you...there isn't another soul within 500 yards...while she calls you by every name except yours...so piss drunk she starts to smell like 3 day old sauerkraut and sausage...which by the way is apparently a highly sought after aphrodisiac in most parts of Ireland...makes ya wonder what's in the water they brew their beer with...don't it??? These are the same group of people who describe haggis as a delicacy...if you can stomach grinding up sheep's liver...heart and lungs and then cramming that into the 'natural casing'...(who do they think they're fooling with this little misnomer...it's a poop chute...a tubular turd tunnel...it's NOT some recently discovered flavorful membrane they just began using)...cooking it over an open flame and then sitting down to a nice big supper of...'I think I'd rather eat sheep shit'...I wouldn't worry much about a few fairy sightings from time to time...you have way too much on your plate as it is!!!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
02/14/12
Roman Emporer Caligula made his horse a senator...
Yeah...AND??? I should leave this as the shortest tidbit in history...it should come as NO surprise to anyone even remotely familiar with ancient Roman history that Caligula was the posterboy for clinical insanity long before the term was coined...we employ a variation of the horse...commonly referred to as an ass...all the time in these illustrious positions of power...to say history repeats itself is an understatement...history wouldn't repeat itself if people actually learned from their mistakes...instead of multiplying them like some sorta hybrid nymphomaniac rabbit whore in heat...look at our own recent political history...Dubya...twice...the posterboy for Idiots with Ears...we should utilize more barnyard animals as politicians...they require far less financially for their upkeep...a bale of hay a day will keep the 2 legged idiots at bay...clean-up from catastrophic collapses resulting from constipated collective consciousness would only require a shovel and a wheelbarrow...instead of international coaltions to correct the course...massive loans from Communist backed countries to compensate for failed programs like NAFTA...and the eminence front we hafta put on for the rest of the world so that we appear to have our poop in a group...anyone know a scatologist we could nominate??? Ya know...it's been my opinion for as long as I've been able to think for myself...that politicians shouldn't receive a single f**kin' dime for a salary...compensate them for the annual trips to DC...aside from that...serving the public good should be a voluntary position...I mean doesn't it piss you off that we keep payin' these assholes to do a shitty job...year in...year out...it bothers the shit outta me and I only worked for the government for 4 years in the Air Force...and guess what??? We had a buncha wannabe horse's asses employed in that sector too...know what happens on the low end of the government pay scale when you fuck up on the job...you get demoted...they dock your pay...and give ya shit detail for a month...seems to me that should climb all the way up the government ladder...maybe we should treat these anal bead sniffin' idiots like an old Roman Horse and ride their asses til they drop...you wanna know why farm animals would make better politicians...because they are conditioned to obey verbal as well as physical commands without misinterpreting everything they come across...twisting it to fit their wants and desires...and ending up miles from the desired destination...you put blinders on a politician and that poor ignorant bastard will start runnin around in circles like he has one foot nailed to the floor...a horse will stay on course...straight and narrow...and run right off a cliff if you don't make corrections...if you look at all the idiots we've allowed to ruin our country...massacre our Constitution...abuse the privilege of power...Caligula doesn't look so damn crazy now...does he??? Caligula was eventually assassinated for his shortcomings as an Emporer...something all too often missing in this day and age...NOT that we need to go out and kill anyone in a political position...but I would love to murder the career of each and everyone of them who failed to represent the people who put enough faith and stock in them to show up and cast a vote...strip them of anything with value...realized or fictional...leave them penniless...homeless...and without a job...sound a little harsh??? Damn skippy it's harsh...your ass was elected to represent the well being of thousands...if NOT tens of thousands of fellow countrymen...if even one of the people in your district is jobless or homeless...you FAILED...suffer the consequences...that's why I stand behind the Voluntary Politician Program...it makes way too much sense to ever be taken seriously...here's why it will work...Absence of Money...without profit an individual lacks personal agenda in the field of politics...( I know...I know...'But Kevin...who would run for office if they knew they weren't going to get paid...surely we can't really nominate and elect horses?) I would...because I know how to think outside the box...listen...first year Senators make $174,000.00 for 2011-2012...a majority party leader gets 193,400.00 for 2011-2012...and it is going to continue it's upward escalation...since they have the power to vote themselves a pay increase at any time without a single nod of approval required by any of us NOT filling the position of Senator...up until very recently the POTUS only made $200,000.00 annually...they voted him a raise to $400,000.00 just so they had room to grow in their own pockets without exceeding the salary of the one whose supposed to be in charge...I'm not gonna do the math down to the penny...but here's the jist of it...we're being bilked for roughly 15-18 million a year as taxpayers just for the Senate and President...that's not even taking into account the members of the House of Representatives...who by the way...DO WHAT??? Notta damn thing...NOBODY gives a shit what the House has to say...and they outnumber the Senate...so there's conservatively another what 20-25 million let's say...and holy crap let's NOT even mention State Senates and Houses...so we're into it for 38-43 million easy just at the Federal level...that's alotta f**kin' hay folks...feed a four-legged foal for forty lifetimes...and I don't want to take undue credit for an idea...Benjamin Franklin was the first person...during the Constitutional Convention...who first proposed an all voluntary political post...because even in the earliest days of this country's existence...the corruption of cashflow was evident in those with aspirations of entering into office...it's a FAILED system because we continue to pay taxes...levied against us without our approval...which pays the salaries of those we oppose...you elect somebody into office on a voluntary basis and guess what...they have NO option but to do their damn best to get your points across on the National stage...and if they don't...you send the next best vote-getter to the next session...might take a few tries...it's a new system...bound to have a few kinks and clangs early on but we'd get it ironed out...can you imagine saving the American tax payers well over a 100 million dollars annually just by cutting the salaries of all those positions at both the Federal and State level...probably wouldn't hurt the economy in this country either...payin' these peckerheads is like coughin up all your cash to the hangman just before he drops the lever...it doesn't make any sense...I mean for 100 million dollars...I'd just as soon wave carrots in front of Clydesdales and take my damn chances!!!
Yeah...AND??? I should leave this as the shortest tidbit in history...it should come as NO surprise to anyone even remotely familiar with ancient Roman history that Caligula was the posterboy for clinical insanity long before the term was coined...we employ a variation of the horse...commonly referred to as an ass...all the time in these illustrious positions of power...to say history repeats itself is an understatement...history wouldn't repeat itself if people actually learned from their mistakes...instead of multiplying them like some sorta hybrid nymphomaniac rabbit whore in heat...look at our own recent political history...Dubya...twice...the posterboy for Idiots with Ears...we should utilize more barnyard animals as politicians...they require far less financially for their upkeep...a bale of hay a day will keep the 2 legged idiots at bay...clean-up from catastrophic collapses resulting from constipated collective consciousness would only require a shovel and a wheelbarrow...instead of international coaltions to correct the course...massive loans from Communist backed countries to compensate for failed programs like NAFTA...and the eminence front we hafta put on for the rest of the world so that we appear to have our poop in a group...anyone know a scatologist we could nominate??? Ya know...it's been my opinion for as long as I've been able to think for myself...that politicians shouldn't receive a single f**kin' dime for a salary...compensate them for the annual trips to DC...aside from that...serving the public good should be a voluntary position...I mean doesn't it piss you off that we keep payin' these assholes to do a shitty job...year in...year out...it bothers the shit outta me and I only worked for the government for 4 years in the Air Force...and guess what??? We had a buncha wannabe horse's asses employed in that sector too...know what happens on the low end of the government pay scale when you fuck up on the job...you get demoted...they dock your pay...and give ya shit detail for a month...seems to me that should climb all the way up the government ladder...maybe we should treat these anal bead sniffin' idiots like an old Roman Horse and ride their asses til they drop...you wanna know why farm animals would make better politicians...because they are conditioned to obey verbal as well as physical commands without misinterpreting everything they come across...twisting it to fit their wants and desires...and ending up miles from the desired destination...you put blinders on a politician and that poor ignorant bastard will start runnin around in circles like he has one foot nailed to the floor...a horse will stay on course...straight and narrow...and run right off a cliff if you don't make corrections...if you look at all the idiots we've allowed to ruin our country...massacre our Constitution...abuse the privilege of power...Caligula doesn't look so damn crazy now...does he??? Caligula was eventually assassinated for his shortcomings as an Emporer...something all too often missing in this day and age...NOT that we need to go out and kill anyone in a political position...but I would love to murder the career of each and everyone of them who failed to represent the people who put enough faith and stock in them to show up and cast a vote...strip them of anything with value...realized or fictional...leave them penniless...homeless...and without a job...sound a little harsh??? Damn skippy it's harsh...your ass was elected to represent the well being of thousands...if NOT tens of thousands of fellow countrymen...if even one of the people in your district is jobless or homeless...you FAILED...suffer the consequences...that's why I stand behind the Voluntary Politician Program...it makes way too much sense to ever be taken seriously...here's why it will work...Absence of Money...without profit an individual lacks personal agenda in the field of politics...( I know...I know...'But Kevin...who would run for office if they knew they weren't going to get paid...surely we can't really nominate and elect horses?) I would...because I know how to think outside the box...listen...first year Senators make $174,000.00 for 2011-2012...a majority party leader gets 193,400.00 for 2011-2012...and it is going to continue it's upward escalation...since they have the power to vote themselves a pay increase at any time without a single nod of approval required by any of us NOT filling the position of Senator...up until very recently the POTUS only made $200,000.00 annually...they voted him a raise to $400,000.00 just so they had room to grow in their own pockets without exceeding the salary of the one whose supposed to be in charge...I'm not gonna do the math down to the penny...but here's the jist of it...we're being bilked for roughly 15-18 million a year as taxpayers just for the Senate and President...that's not even taking into account the members of the House of Representatives...who by the way...DO WHAT??? Notta damn thing...NOBODY gives a shit what the House has to say...and they outnumber the Senate...so there's conservatively another what 20-25 million let's say...and holy crap let's NOT even mention State Senates and Houses...so we're into it for 38-43 million easy just at the Federal level...that's alotta f**kin' hay folks...feed a four-legged foal for forty lifetimes...and I don't want to take undue credit for an idea...Benjamin Franklin was the first person...during the Constitutional Convention...who first proposed an all voluntary political post...because even in the earliest days of this country's existence...the corruption of cashflow was evident in those with aspirations of entering into office...it's a FAILED system because we continue to pay taxes...levied against us without our approval...which pays the salaries of those we oppose...you elect somebody into office on a voluntary basis and guess what...they have NO option but to do their damn best to get your points across on the National stage...and if they don't...you send the next best vote-getter to the next session...might take a few tries...it's a new system...bound to have a few kinks and clangs early on but we'd get it ironed out...can you imagine saving the American tax payers well over a 100 million dollars annually just by cutting the salaries of all those positions at both the Federal and State level...probably wouldn't hurt the economy in this country either...payin' these peckerheads is like coughin up all your cash to the hangman just before he drops the lever...it doesn't make any sense...I mean for 100 million dollars...I'd just as soon wave carrots in front of Clydesdales and take my damn chances!!!
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