Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life...
That's right folks you heard it here first...ALCOHOL is capable of sustaining life...unfortunately I know quite a few families that would argue otherwise...having lost loved ones to ALCOHOL related accidents...because apparently it doesn't just sustain life...it makes people misjudge distances...speeds ...cornering habits...walking...talking and the way you see things...I don't drink and drive anymore...took a few trips to county jail to learn that lesson...but it finally sank in and NONE too soon...sleepin' on concrete with a little blanket that you can read through...isn't on my list of things to do again...especially NOT because I was too drunk to drive home and got behind the wheel anyway...it's much safer to walk...or NOT drink...I don't even like to drink outside my house in the yard...because assholes with badges have NOTHING better to do than to harass you for trying to abide by the law...it pisses them off that they can't arrest you for an alcohol related offense...kinda weird how a life sustaining potion like ALCOHOL is responsible for liver failure...brain capacity corruption...taste bud failure...loss of sense of smell...and a laundry list of other life threatening diseases...how many people drink themselves to DEATH every year...hundreds...thousands...and yet this moron wants people to believe that most ALCOHOLIC beverages are capable of sustaining life...I don't see people hiking into the woods with bottles of booze instead of dehydrated foods...I don't recall grocery stores going out of business because somebody opened a liquor store next door... I've NEVER had the paramedics show up in an ambulance and hook me up to an ALCOHOLIC IV to keep me goin' til we got to the hospital...ALCOHOL is basically liquid courage in a bottle...it causes people to get violent and angry...which leads to fights...events which do more to damage life than sustain it...NEVER had a prescription for ALCOHOL...got one for Medical Marijuana...but NONE for ALCOHOL...as a matter of fact I'm pretty damn sure each and every bottle used to contain an ALCOHOLIC beverage produced LEGALLY in the United States has a distinct WARNING LABEL on it stating that it shouldn't be enjoyed by women who are PREGNANT...I mean if it has such life sustaining attributes...why are expectant mothers discouraged from drinking it??? I have a feeling this author had a moment of stupidness during an episode of sobriety that caused him to produce this kinda mush melon logic...ALCOHOL is a dehydrating substance...it dries out the human body...look at an ALCOHOLIC...does ANYTHING about them SCREAM...I am at the height of my life...NEVER felt better physically...emotionally...and mentally...NO...because they are SUFFERING from the effects of their favorite concoction...NOBODY gets off an ALCOHOL related offense by spouting off to the Judge that they thought their LIFE was in DANGER and they needed ALCOHOL in order to survive...that's the dumbest damn thing I've ever heard...well for today anyway...tomorrow will undoubtedly bring a whole new plethora of ignorance for us to deal with...but lemme be the first to tell ya that the members of MADD aren't dying off as quickly as those they oppose...as a matter of fact they seem to be gaining new members by the minute according to Federal statistics regarding the LIFE ending qualities of ALCOHOL...kinda odd that everyone involved with the medical community seems to ABHOR the effects of ALCOHOL...I mean think about it for a minute...an ambulance ride runs about $3,000.00...an overnight stay at a hospital...another $2,500.00 bare minimum...all other LIFE sustaining equipment and personnel can extend into the tens of thousands of dollars...and a bottle of ALCOHOL...somewhere between $10 and $50 depending on your preference and available budget...don'tcha think if ALCOHOL were the LIFE sustaining gravy of the gods this idiot seems to think it is...that every house in America would have a well stocked liquor cabinet included??? If you think ALCOHOL is providing you with some sort of LIFE sustaining characteristic...you need more help than I can give you...you'll keep drinkin til the day you die...which by all accounts shouldn't be much further in your future...it's Friday folks and I hate to rain on your parade...but I would rather pull out an umbrella today to shield you from the downpour than to hold your loved one's hand at your funeral...had enough of those recently to fill my quota for the year...have a great weekend...and PLEASE...if you are gonna drink..do so RESPONSIBLY!!!
