If you lace your shoes from the inside to the outside the fit will be snugger around your big toe...
You'd hafta be some kinda Einstein to fall for this idiots morsel of misinformation...the snugness of the fit has about as much to do with the placement of shoelaces as the Detrroit Lions hopes of winning a Superbowl rest on the results of the first 6 weeks of the season...it simply doesn't factor into the equation...the snugness of the fit is a direct result of the amount of force utilized in the pulling of the laces themselves...they go thru the eyelet...regardless of direction...wrap around and continue their wayward meandering up the tongue of the shoe...where they are then tugged upon...and snugged to the individuals comfort level...and tied...now...all of you who read the initial tidbit...looked down at your shoes to see which way you threaded your laces...and thought to themselves...'Hmmm...I could getta better fit if I just relace these puppies on my lunch break'...are hereby required to wear neckties to work tomorrow...I will be around to snug them up individually...because apparently having them wrapped around your neck from the outside...as opposed to the inside...results in a much snugger fit capable of the restrictive airflow necessary to purge your simple minds of aimlessly accepting for fact anything read or heard...without taking a moment to consider all the integers of the equation...good lord...you may as well get your open assed anal probing alien pants on...ya half a meatball...those of you conforming to Kevin's Kindred Conscience...and who read that initial statement...began emphatically shaking your head back and forth...side to side...thinking to yourself...'What kinda rectally birthed assbag came up with this f*ckin' fiasco of 'fact'...are all safe to continue swimming at your own risk...continue to be cautious...for there are still 'floaties' bobbing around in the deep end trying to fit in...the fact that shoes are continued to even be made with eyelets...requiring laces...speaks of the duality of man...here we are at the onset of the greatest age of technological advancement in human history...capable of creating a shoe completely void of troublesome laces...and yet here they are...still being sold...bought...and worn by millions...the only people still wearing lace up shoes should be those still watching the nightly news on black and white tv's...now I know alotta you are probably cursing my name..."Sonofabitch...here I am...tapped right out financially...Christmas just around the corner...and now I gotta scrape together enough money for a new pair of laceless shoes...bastard couldn't have picked a better time to enlighten us"...better late than NEVER I always say...but take a look around...somebody you know is wearing a pair of shoes to work today that are laced up...inside to out...or vice versa...and tomorrow they'll show up wearing zippered boots...loafers...or sandals...BE NICE...they probably suffer from PTSD resulting from all the lunches spent in lockers during their formative years in skewl...I can't for the life of me figure out how somebody voluntarily spent time lacing their shoes up...inside to out...then outside to in...over and over again in order to make this statement...once should be enough to clue you in as to the false end result obtained...just what the hell are they teaching our kids these days......what ever happened to research and experimentation to PROVE a theory...giving creedence to it being an indisputable fact...everybody do me a favor...you don't even hafta take off your shoe...just look at it...envision if you will your shoe...absent of laces...notice how the eyelets are equally distant from each other??? Good...now...dig deep within the recesses of your mind...picture a string as it makes its way thru one eyelet from the outside...as the polar opposite end of said string makes its way thru the equally distant eyelet located on the other side of the shoe...GREAT...now you should have 2 similar looking string ends facing each other...grab one...now the other...and pull with whatever force you deem appropriate...notice how BOTH eyelets simultaneously converge towards each other as the string ends are pulled...FAN-F*CKIN'-TASTIC!!! Now deconstruct that experiment entirely...reverse the process and run the lace ends thru the inside...notice how they seem to be headed in entirely opposite directions...PERFECT...now grab those ends and pull them up together...with the exact same amount of force used in the initial experiment...what do you notice??? Should be two things that become immediately apparent...WOW...these shoes feel just as tight as before...the breaking point of the string...as well as the eyelet...remain constant if manufacturing standards are adhered too...direction of travel is irrelevant...the only difference between lacing your shoes outside to in...rather than inside to out...is residual friction...what I mean by that is this...if you lace from the outside in and draw the strings together then release them they will relax less...making it actually appear as tho the exact opposite of the tidbit is true...WHY??? Because you actually hafta wrap the lace thru the eyelet and pull up...maintaining a firm grip on the eyelet...if you go inside to out...pull the laces snug then release them...they have greater freedom to relax because they do not encompass the eyelet entirely as they do when applied the other way...releasing any residual friction they had with the eyelet...it isn't until after you string them thru the next set of eyelets that they maintain contact with the first pair of eyelets and create the residual friction necessary to make them effective tools of snuggery!!! I know some of you are probably thinkin'...'Kevin has lost his damn mind...residual friction...he sounds like the idiot brother of the tidbit author...I don't believe he has a clue'...and you're entitled to your opinion...just keep it to yourself...I hate to embarass people perrsonally in front of their peers...but I will when all else fails...LOL...if you think my ideas on the subject are incomprehensibly incorrect...and that residual friction is just a term I made up to appear better educated than my counterparts...give this a try...run the laces thru from the inside out...now grab just one end and pull...WHAT HAPPENED??? That's right the lace slid easily thru both eyelets without a moments hesitation...like shit thru a goose...unhindered...rapidly...and without any extra effort...now run the laces back thru...from the outside in...WHAT HAPPENED NOW GENIUS??? That's right...the laces were far more difficult to remove grabbing just one end and pulling weren't they??? Don't question my authority...I don't work for the government...the only time I will provide you with misinformation...or misguide you on purpose...is when I wish for you to end up in a location FAR FAR AWAY from me...I see things daily that make me weep for future generations...I mentioned one of these occurrences to Momma when she was up this weekend...I saw a few things in my local grocery store that made me wonder just how f*ckin' dumb the general public actually is...things like NATURAL Sliced Almonds...I watch people buy these items...NATURAL PASTA...NATURAL Spring Water...in a bottle...What does NATURAL mean??? Quite simply...things that occur NATURALLY...Almonds do NOT fall from the tree sliced...I've NEVER seen a pasta plant in NATURE...spaghetti doesn't grow on trees...bushes...plants...its a man made product from grains...NOTHING NATURAL about that...Natural Spring Water comes from a Spring...usually resulting in a river...dumping into a lake or ocean...polluted by the industrial ambitions of humans...and it doen't bubble out of the ground bottled...we sell VEGETARIAN Baked Beans...as well as VEGETARIAN Macaroni and Cheese...for f*ckin real yo...seriously...if your leaf eatin...I'm so weak a good fart will blow me across 3 states...garden gnome guru of an ass can't determine the difference between a vegetable and a hunk of flesh...maybe your feeble food conscious mind needs a nice...rare...inch and a half thick slab of animal carcass...dripping in blood as your next meal...it has become apparent to the rest of us that your little Watership Down...rabbit pellet dietary supplements are causing you longer than normal momentary lapses of judgement which cause you to lace your open toed slippers shut the wrong way!!! I blame the pacifistic members of our world community for these peoples continued existence among us...there was a time in the history of our country when we abandoned those we found unfit for society by pushing them off boats and making them swim to the island of Molokai...unfortunately our planet hasn't enough islands to incorporate these imbeciles...and our forced tolerance of these Titans of the Tiddlywinks Tables continues to this day!!!
