The Grateful Dead were once known as The Warlocks...
The Grateful Dead were probably once known as many different things...take a look @ Jerry Garcia...this guy dropped more LSD than Jimi Hendrix...The Doors...Dennis Hopper and Tommy Chong combined...I went to a Grateful Dead show once...40% of American adults couldn't find a bank deposit slip without trying to dissolve it on their tongues...like much of the music back then...those that were true Dead Heads had to endure the hallucinatory effects of LSD in order for the music to make any sense or sound in tune...hell I wouldn't be surprised if 85-90% of the people attending a Grateful Dead show thought they were witnessing a never ending reel from Woodstock archives...the other 10-15% were still in utero and would grow up wearing loud distasteful sundresses...tie dyed shirts...Jerusalem Cruisers (thats open toed sandals for those of you still coming down from the last show)...I'm always surprised when people tout the great bands of that era...what in the hell were you people hearing...good lord half that shit sounds like a freshly neutered... unanesthesized cat clammering over tin cans in a back alley off Broadway...Grateful Dead shows...much like Hendrix concerts...probablky had less to do with the music then they did with excessive drug consumption...I have no doubt some of the attendees @ Grateful Dead shows saw them as The Warlocks...hell some of them probably saw them as The Diablo's...while still others thought of them as 11 long haired friends of Jesus in a chartruse microbus...peace...love...flowers...happiness...and enough drugs to kill a trumpeting herd of pachyderms...throw in music that would make the sane mind beg for mercy and you have a Grateful Dead show...that or you've stumbled across a torture chamber run by the C.I.A. to prep prisoners for waterboarding...I do like some of the music from back in the day...but not enough of it to warrant labeling any specific musician as the 'Best' of all time...there were several good songs...and talented musicians from that era...most of whom also did their fair share of drugs left over from Dead Head shows...yet even if the song itself carried a pleasant melodious tune to the ear...it was never more apparent drugs played a role in the writing of the song than when you heard the redundancy of the lyrics...hell one of my favorite bands of all time is C.C.R...and if ya listen to their songs you'll see what I'm talkin about...how many times can you say Doo Doo Doo...lookin out my back door... before people grow tired of it...well approximately for 2 minutes 15 seconds...most of their songs are 3 minutes or less and are more repetitive than Dubya preaching WMD in Iraq...alot of 'great' bands follow this formula...short songs...repetitive chords...simple lyrics...AC/DC for instance...or K.I.S.S....who created such a stir with their music and make-up people thought the name of the band was an acronym for...Knights In Satan's Service...I always thought it stood for...Keep It Simple Stupid but then...what did I know I'd never been to a Warlocks show...as far as I know Momma never went to Woodstock...hell if you lived in East Jordan back then you were probably lucky to attend Wood Shop...let alone Woodstock...but she did don the big teacup saucer style earrings a time or two...LOL...you ever come across that individual stumbling down the street...wearin blue/green plaid golf pants...2 different shoes...a pink...purple...orange...green...yellow...and red tie dyed turtle neck sweater...a long brown duster...sporting a hat your father threw away in the 50's...smelling like they haven't touched a bar of soap or a drop of water in 5 decades...that's either a Grateful Dead fan or your ass is lost in Boston...which we all know has had a ban on public bathing for some time now...kinda reminds me of those commercials...where the guy walks into the kitchen and there's an empty frying pan sizzling on the stove...the camera pans in...showing a close up of the empty pan...as the guy is saying..."This is your brain"...then he cracks an egg into the pan...it begins to spit...crackle...and fry...and the guy says..."this is your brain on drugs"...what an epic fail...who doesn't look at that and think to themselves..."hell my brain on drugs has a better appetite"...it musta been like that with Dead tunes...this is your brain...Grateful Dead music playin in the background...causing the person listening to it significant pain...this is your brain on drugs...suddenly the music all makes sense...everybody's happy...visions of yellow submarines bobbing thru their drug addled...chick pea brains...the same thing still takes place today...just take that Justin Bieber jackass...the only people on this planet who tolerate that rubbish as music are glue huffin adolescents...and as we all know...the common street bum referred to above already has better taste in clothes and realizes the proper placement of the waistbands of both their underwear and pants...LOL...so before you go runnin off to your local Ticketmaster for Grateful Dead/Justin Bieber show dates...make sure you have the appropriate tools of the trade...LSD...Glue...or a simple rap on the temple a few times with a ball peen hammer oughtta do the trick!!! LMAO!!! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! There may be a post or two over the brief Holiday period...so check back at will...or select follow by email to be notified when a new post is issued...ENJOY!!!
