In the English hospitals during the 17th century children were entitled to 2 gallons of beer as part of their weekly diet...
2 gallons per week...per sick child...17th Century England...whaddaya figure...at least 5 to 6 kids per household...conservatively...and yet none of them had the forethought to make s small fortune off of this little program...I wouldn't have had to work hard a single day of my life...different kid sick every week...2 free gallons of beer per week...104 gallons a year...and keep in mind that's on the light side...play your cards just right...little pre-planning...scheduling of each child's "sick" weeks...you could easily double that to 208 gallons of FREE BEER...bootleg that shit...undercut the local watering holes...self made millionaire before they invented a word for it...and for those of you with a conscience let me put your minds at ease...the answer is YES...would I exploit children for financial gain...it's 17th Century England...it's allowed and accepted...I didn't say it was a perfect idea...but hey layin in bed for a week...every month or so...gettin' FREE BEER to turn a profit from...beats the hell out of their other 2 options...some stodgy ass...everybody dress the same...private schools...or sweatin their asses off plowin fields...milkin' cows...manufacturing Nike shoes in some sweatshop hidden in Malaysia...hell if I'd have been coming into my teenage years in 17th Century England it goes without saying I probably wouldn't have even seen my parents for at least 5 years...I woulda been sick every week myself...different city...different hospital...2 gallons of...you got it...FREE BEER!!! and let's keep in mind this wasn't the beer we're all familiar with...that watered down...alcoholess...no this was more than likely some type of mead...honey mead perhaps...much stronger than your garden variety MGD 64...or 56...or WTFE...you know the one I'm talking about...designer beer for the calorie conscious alcoholic airhead crowd...buncha dumbasses if ever there were any...'I wanna go out drinkin' to get drunk...but I gotta watch my figure...hee hee hee hee'...but ya can't choke the stupid outta people...so whaddaya gonna do...change the inscription on the Statue of Liberty...include those little lepers of learning too...I can't believe some mega-conglomerate-big business 1%'er greedy ass bag CSMAC's...(that's Chief Shit Munchin Asshole in Charge)...hasn't capitalized on this idea...HEY...MR. FORD...are you hearing this...in 5 years when you've successfully decimated this teams chances of being the first LIONS team with a chance at being taken seriously...and the stands at FORD FIELD are more visible than people paying to attend...on game days...2 gallons of FREE BEER per kid will undoubtedly triple ticket sales in an otherwise murky...destitute...grimy marketplace...I can't think of a place this wouldn't work...church pews a little empty there padre...stop sellin cheap wine and sunday sleep thru sermons...2 gallons of FREE BEER per kid and even the neo-nazi atheists will start linin up early...political financial fund starting to dry up...rankings in the polls takin a beating...2 gallons of FREE BEER per kid with campaign contribution...you won't care if you win...neither will your supporters...keep pourin from the pitcher dumbass the money's rollin' in...you may not win election...but you can still end up King of the turd swillin'...swamp rat supperin'...I got abducted by a UFO durin a ternada while huntin Sasquatch crowd of Kool-Aid drinkers and FREE BEER imbibers!!! I mean holy crap...ladies...use this to your advantage...tired of arguing with the hubby over takin the kids to the park for the day...2 gallons of FREE BEER per kid...he'll take the whole neighborhood full of kids and you won't see any of them for a week...I mean really...you could fill the Big House in Ann Arbor beyond capacity just to watch Cabage Patch Dolls face off for the Chinese Checkers Championship if you offered 2 gallons of FREE BEER per kid...Beer itself should have an addendum to it's slogan...BEER...helping ugly people have sex and children cope with colds...since 1632!!!
