When medieval Europeans burned witches, their families had to pay for the firewood...
This is a part of human history I NEVER really understood...lemme get this straight...villagers used to run around and point fingers at people they believed were witches and warlocks...people they had a FEAR of...individuals that they thought posed potential HARM to the rest of the community if they were left alone to practice their MAGIC...you remember MAGIC don'tcha??? It's what witches were famous for...being able to turn humans into creatures of the most hideous configuration...they were accused of being able to vanish in thin air...of being able to set things on FIRE with a gaze...they brewed up concoctions and potions that allowed them greater freedom to manipulate man...and yet they were completely DEFENSELESS when abducted and hauled off to the nearest bonfire...what were they all drinkin' from the same spoiled water source...the well of knowledge a little more shallow on the European continent is it??? Thankfully the smart ones built a damn boat and went in search of smarter living conditions...otherwise we'd all be runnin' around messin with the people in our societies that we feared as witches or warlocks...regardless of why the Europeans and their idiot cousins that found their ways to our shores decided to burn people at the stake...Imma hafta call bullshit on the authenticity of the tidbit as being anything other than made up...and here's why...witches and warlocks were burned at the stake...what back between 1480 and 1750 if Wikipedia is right...a period of human history where men were left to fend for their families...harvesting wood for the cold winter months was done on an individual family basis...the men went out and cut down the trees...cut them into smaller lengths...split them and hauled them home to the house to be stored in the wood shed...they didn't call Wally's Wood Service to come bring them a cord of wood to keep warm with for the winter...apparently the student wasting their parents money on a history lesson...napped through a few too many course lectures...and let's NOT even mention the absolute absence of common sense one hasta possess just to dream up somethin' this stupid...cuz here's the thing...a family that spawned a suspected witch or warlock would often find themselves in quite a predicament...and in potential risk of being accused of sorcery and such themselves...I doubt many of them stuck the f**k around long enough for their name to come up next...chances are they packed up and left while the rest of the villagers were barbequing their cousins...NOT too mention the obvious...let's paint this scenario shall we...a group of pitchfork wielding village idiots shows up in the middle of the night pounding on your door...they are brandishing torches and tools to trap the suspect and transport them to the witch burning bonfire...one would be safe in assuming that these villagers had already constructed the wood for producing the bonfire prior to showing up to strangle a suspected witch...therefore the wood had to have come from somewhere...I'm guessin those that wanted to see a suspected witch burn...brought armloads of kindling and wood with them...I doubt very seriously they bound and gagged a suspect...dragged them to the village square and then went about their business of building something to burn them with...if they didn't I doubt very seriously they waited around long enough for the family of the suspected witch to come up with the money for firewood...because idk about the rest of ya...but if someone pounded on my door in the middle of the night...grabbed one of my family members and accused them of being a witch...dragged them off in chains and then presented me with a bill for procuring the firewood...they'd be suckin hind tit and waitin for the tax man to come around...cuz I ain't shellin out a schilling to watch you desecrate the memory of one of my loved ones...I don't care how many brooms they had in their closet...no folks...firewood was not a purchasable commodity during those times...if you failed to fall your own trees and season the wood for the upcoming seasons...your ass froze to death...ya didn't run down the road and find some hillbilly to come help you out...NOBODY offered to share what they had and place their families at risk...they fended for themselves and let the rest fall where they may...wood was in wider abundance back then...they had to clear trees to make suitable space for living arrangements...they had to harvest wood to cook their meals...let alone the villagers they had become disgruntled with...harvesting wood was NOT a career choice...it was a NECESSITY...those that were tasked with cutting down trees for a kingdom were the only ones that did this type of task as a profession and they didn't start branching off and selling it to the masses until they empires and kingdoms had all fallen...long after witchcraft had been determined to be a ridiculous adventure to try and abolish...it only took them 300 years to figure it out...is it any wonder we've had to save them from learning so many different languages at the hands of others...I swear...some drink from the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle!!!
