There are an odd number of steps in every staircase in Thailand...
Here's a very interesting aspect that the original author failed to include in this catastrophic commentary regarding staircases in Thailand...it isn't a local superstition...it has no importance in Thai society...and as a matter of fact is more of an International tradition among craftsmen than anything else. Count the steps in any staircase you come across...and guess what...9 times out of 10...the sum will total an odd number... which means one of two things people...either damn near everybody that has ever bulit an inclined stepping device utilized to gain access to locations above or below them...adheres to the same time honored tradition that has been handed down thru the centuries...or the people of Thailand build every damn staircase in the world...I'll let you decide...now most of you may not be familiar with the construction process of new homes...and therefore haven't a clue as to what ethnicity the people that built your staircase come from...I have personally spent countless hours in several fields within the construction industry...and lemme assure you there are very few Thai stair builders working here in America...and I would hafta venture a guess it's the same situation in every other country except...Thailand...this leads me to believe that craftsmen here in the states were informed of this design decision thru other methods...like learning them from the non Thai mentor that hired them...go to the nearest stairwell and count the steps in a flight of stairs...was it odd...or even...or are you having trouble deciding which area is compatible or categorized as a step...here lemme help you...those smaller things that continue to incline or decline at equidistant intervals...those are steps...the bigger platforms that are used for turning to take another flight or as entranceways and exits for a specific floor are called landings...landings are only counted once...so do not count the landing you are standing on to perform the mind boggling math problem if you count the one at the top or bottom of the flight...counting both landings only serves to confuse the countee further...and people...although it is Friday and I would love NOTHING more than to spend the entire day finger sliding different colored beads across an antiquated abicus...I have other things that are more pressing...like locating or constructing the world's first even numbered stairwell...do ya know when stairs play an important part of my life and require counting??? When the asshole that built the damn building didn't have the foresight or financial means to incorporate elevators or escalators...aside from that they are insignificant...sadly there are probably several things I will NEVER see...up close and personally...because of this very reason...stair climbing falls just behind and slightly to the left of running...on the list of activities I attempt to avoid at all costs...I am NEVER late enough...NOR in a big enough hurry to get somewhere...that I feel the urge or necessity to run...the same can be said for stairs...there are other idiots that will ascend them as high as they go...if these morons have the capacity and capability to use one or more of their arms and hands...they can take pictures and I will be more than happy to view them upon their descent...I don't even like the fact that my house has a small set of stairs at the front and rear...it's a pain in the ass of epic proportions...the last thing I wanna do is hafta carry shit up or down stairs...although I must say...if given the option I would rather be headed in a steady downward angle...it is much easier to catch the weight of your body on each descending step than it is to lift your entire body weight up to the next level...NOW don't spend the rest of the day counting steps on stairs...you're sure to make a mistake along the way and stumble on another important fact associated with staircase step counting...there are far too many of them to matter...and here's something you blonde readers are going to want to pay extra special attention to...if the stairwell includes several flights of stairs...and they are all included in the same building...chances are they all have the same amount of steps...you can quit counting them by the 5th floor...hey it's NOT my fault they require special instructions...they're BLONDE...have a great weekend...and when you leave the building this afternoon...if you are fortunate enough to come across some dumbass counting steps...slap them on the back and start shouting out random digits on your way down to the exit...4...8...54...12...3...7...if NOTHING else you will confuse them long enough to get a head start on your weekend...if they are still there on Monday buy them some hair dye...the roots are starting to show thru!!!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
04/12/12
In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10...
I can't for the life of me figure out why this should be important...what it stands for...or who should care...which makes it a perfect target for terminal torture thru verbology...or the study of verbs as they apply to nature...IDK...don't ask...as with all the simple things people seem to take for granted without further ado...I find it necessary to delve a little deeper and try and determine why things of this nature continue to pop up in the American culture...is there any relative significance to this information...or is it simply an advertising gimmick initiated a long time ago that is continued today for a similar reason or reaction...or is it merely something that has continued because the only picture anyone has of a watch at Advertising Compliance Headquarters is broken and constantly displays 10:10...I don't know and I don't care...look it up yourself...I can't do everything for ya...I'm tired and the internet just came back on so I hadta retype this entire thing because I didn't realize early enough that the service had been unexpectedly interrupted...those SOB's in India almost gotta piece of my mind...but then I figured what the hell...let my neioghbors sleep...besides I can find more pleasureable endeavors to stimulate high blood pressure...I don't need to be doin the damn language limbo with Hhhhharacknad at quarter to 4 in the morning...I have more important things to do like try and figure out if its 10:10am or 10:10 pm...could be significant...could be immaterial...one NEVER knows until the final clue is revealed...if it is even discovered at all...I know sometimes you readers are confused...you have NO idea what I'm talking about or which way the commentary is headed...honestly...half the time I don't know either until after I've hit the publish post button and re read the submitted monologue...so just sit back and hang on...it's a wild ride for both of us...but I have the advantage of driving the ship...so I need COMPLETE QUIET...WE WILL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE AND NOT A MINUTE SOONER...I've heard that a time or two from my position in the back seat...seems to fit in nicely here...here's the thing...if I were a watchmaker I'd do one of two things...stop advertising watches altogether...or figure out a gimmick that makes the hands of the watch or LCD display change numbers...because believe it or NOT...this little advertising snafu is the primary reason I do NOT own a watch...wear a watch...or rely on a watch for giving me accurate time...if the manufacturer is going to advertise a watch that is stuck on 10:10...WHY would I want one...it only serves a purpose twice a day...aside from that it's an overpriced conversation piece that isn't worth a shit...I mean seriously...think about it...if you opened the automobile advertising section from the Sunday Times with the specific intent of deciding which new vehicles you wanted to go test drive that day and the closest Chevy Dealership had an ad showing all of their vehicles sitting on 2 flat tires...the Ford Dealership has ads showing them being pulled onto a flatbedd from the side of the road...and Dodge showed ads with their vehicles sitting at the pump guzzling gas like a thirsty fat kid hammers a Slurpee...which one would you start with??? Damn right NONE of them...which is why watches are a bad idea...the manufacturers know they run the risk of mechanical and electrical parts failing...that's why they show you upfront...it's TRUTH in advertising...it says...'We want you to buy something that has the possibility of breaking and when...not if...it does...it's gonna look like this...10:10...10:10... 10:10...if its a digital...otherwise it might look something like this...\ /'...and here's the damn thing about it...people still buy the damn things...my days consist of daylight hours and my nights consist of non daylight hours...I don't need a broken watch to tell me that...I mean come on...this is what I mean by paying attention to detail...the best stories and clues are in the tiniest details...people don't realize the watches in these advertisements are being displayed as broken time keeping devices...this is can be used as a very clever ploy for online merchandisers and may serve to put a few wads of ones in a pocket or two of mine as a matter of fact...sell broken watches online...use the 10:10 advertisement...and the caption...' as shown above'...which will thereby absolve you of all legal responsibilities should lawsuits arise from the sale of such merchandise...why NOT...I'm showing broken watches...I'm tellin' ya that ya get what's in the picture...which shows a watch that reads 10:10...sounds pretty legit to me...ya get what ya paid for dumbass...youwant a real time keeping device get ya an old navajo, cherokee, sioux or similar Native American who carries on the traditions of their ancestors sans the white mans liquor...those little devils can tell the time by the sun and the stars...another good way of telling what time it is without using a bulky cumbersome broken watch...is to take note and give special consideration to times when people work...they tend to travel in shifts...which should be evident in traffic patterns within the affected community...how do ya think I knew when it was safe to go home after cuttin' skewl all day...I waited til I saw the skewl bus drive by and drop off kids from my skewl...our daily lives normally revolve around set schedules...with minor alterations from day to day...you don't need a watch...you have an internal clock...and eventually it wakes you up...regardless of how many times you slap the internal snooze button...suddenly and without reason you will sit straight up in bed...look at the clock...and go..."OH F**K...it's 10:10 and I'm late for work!."..then whaddaya do run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to put your arms thru your pants legs and wondering why your sweater isn't fitting up over your calf...and for what...what's the rush...late is defined as what class??? Not showing up on time...and once you're late does it really matter...HOW late you are??? NOT really...so take your time...stop on the way to work...get a donut...grab some coffee...some cotton balls...and a newspaper...fold the newspaper so that the watch advertisement is facing outward...hold it in a fashion that shields your arm...like a gauntlet so to speak...enter the work place with your donut hanging out of your mouth...your coffee in one hand...and point at your advertised watch as if it were you're own...mumble...'I know...I know...I'm 10 minutes late...didn't get to set my watch back an hour for Daylight Savings...boy am I lucky...I thought I really overslpet'...then just walk to your office or workstation and carry on with your daily duties...if you're supposed to punch in for work don't...then when you punch out at the end of the shift notify your supervisor that you were 10 minutes late for work this morning and you were in such a rush that you forgot to punch in...then it doesn't matter if you're 30 minutes late or 3 hours late...ya get paid for the whole day...and if ya played it just right...NOBODY will pay attention...or at the very least they'll be just as confused as cornbread and you should be safe...see 5 minutes ago I had NO idea this is where we would end up saying goodbye for the day...til we meet again...don't buy watches that display 10:10!!!
I can't for the life of me figure out why this should be important...what it stands for...or who should care...which makes it a perfect target for terminal torture thru verbology...or the study of verbs as they apply to nature...IDK...don't ask...as with all the simple things people seem to take for granted without further ado...I find it necessary to delve a little deeper and try and determine why things of this nature continue to pop up in the American culture...is there any relative significance to this information...or is it simply an advertising gimmick initiated a long time ago that is continued today for a similar reason or reaction...or is it merely something that has continued because the only picture anyone has of a watch at Advertising Compliance Headquarters is broken and constantly displays 10:10...I don't know and I don't care...look it up yourself...I can't do everything for ya...I'm tired and the internet just came back on so I hadta retype this entire thing because I didn't realize early enough that the service had been unexpectedly interrupted...those SOB's in India almost gotta piece of my mind...but then I figured what the hell...let my neioghbors sleep...besides I can find more pleasureable endeavors to stimulate high blood pressure...I don't need to be doin the damn language limbo with Hhhhharacknad at quarter to 4 in the morning...I have more important things to do like try and figure out if its 10:10am or 10:10 pm...could be significant...could be immaterial...one NEVER knows until the final clue is revealed...if it is even discovered at all...I know sometimes you readers are confused...you have NO idea what I'm talking about or which way the commentary is headed...honestly...half the time I don't know either until after I've hit the publish post button and re read the submitted monologue...so just sit back and hang on...it's a wild ride for both of us...but I have the advantage of driving the ship...so I need COMPLETE QUIET...WE WILL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE AND NOT A MINUTE SOONER...I've heard that a time or two from my position in the back seat...seems to fit in nicely here...here's the thing...if I were a watchmaker I'd do one of two things...stop advertising watches altogether...or figure out a gimmick that makes the hands of the watch or LCD display change numbers...because believe it or NOT...this little advertising snafu is the primary reason I do NOT own a watch...wear a watch...or rely on a watch for giving me accurate time...if the manufacturer is going to advertise a watch that is stuck on 10:10...WHY would I want one...it only serves a purpose twice a day...aside from that it's an overpriced conversation piece that isn't worth a shit...I mean seriously...think about it...if you opened the automobile advertising section from the Sunday Times with the specific intent of deciding which new vehicles you wanted to go test drive that day and the closest Chevy Dealership had an ad showing all of their vehicles sitting on 2 flat tires...the Ford Dealership has ads showing them being pulled onto a flatbedd from the side of the road...and Dodge showed ads with their vehicles sitting at the pump guzzling gas like a thirsty fat kid hammers a Slurpee...which one would you start with??? Damn right NONE of them...which is why watches are a bad idea...the manufacturers know they run the risk of mechanical and electrical parts failing...that's why they show you upfront...it's TRUTH in advertising...it says...'We want you to buy something that has the possibility of breaking and when...not if...it does...it's gonna look like this...10:10...10:10... 10:10...if its a digital...otherwise it might look something like this...\ /'...and here's the damn thing about it...people still buy the damn things...my days consist of daylight hours and my nights consist of non daylight hours...I don't need a broken watch to tell me that...I mean come on...this is what I mean by paying attention to detail...the best stories and clues are in the tiniest details...people don't realize the watches in these advertisements are being displayed as broken time keeping devices...this is can be used as a very clever ploy for online merchandisers and may serve to put a few wads of ones in a pocket or two of mine as a matter of fact...sell broken watches online...use the 10:10 advertisement...and the caption...' as shown above'...which will thereby absolve you of all legal responsibilities should lawsuits arise from the sale of such merchandise...why NOT...I'm showing broken watches...I'm tellin' ya that ya get what's in the picture...which shows a watch that reads 10:10...sounds pretty legit to me...ya get what ya paid for dumbass...youwant a real time keeping device get ya an old navajo, cherokee, sioux or similar Native American who carries on the traditions of their ancestors sans the white mans liquor...those little devils can tell the time by the sun and the stars...another good way of telling what time it is without using a bulky cumbersome broken watch...is to take note and give special consideration to times when people work...they tend to travel in shifts...which should be evident in traffic patterns within the affected community...how do ya think I knew when it was safe to go home after cuttin' skewl all day...I waited til I saw the skewl bus drive by and drop off kids from my skewl...our daily lives normally revolve around set schedules...with minor alterations from day to day...you don't need a watch...you have an internal clock...and eventually it wakes you up...regardless of how many times you slap the internal snooze button...suddenly and without reason you will sit straight up in bed...look at the clock...and go..."OH F**K...it's 10:10 and I'm late for work!."..then whaddaya do run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to put your arms thru your pants legs and wondering why your sweater isn't fitting up over your calf...and for what...what's the rush...late is defined as what class??? Not showing up on time...and once you're late does it really matter...HOW late you are??? NOT really...so take your time...stop on the way to work...get a donut...grab some coffee...some cotton balls...and a newspaper...fold the newspaper so that the watch advertisement is facing outward...hold it in a fashion that shields your arm...like a gauntlet so to speak...enter the work place with your donut hanging out of your mouth...your coffee in one hand...and point at your advertised watch as if it were you're own...mumble...'I know...I know...I'm 10 minutes late...didn't get to set my watch back an hour for Daylight Savings...boy am I lucky...I thought I really overslpet'...then just walk to your office or workstation and carry on with your daily duties...if you're supposed to punch in for work don't...then when you punch out at the end of the shift notify your supervisor that you were 10 minutes late for work this morning and you were in such a rush that you forgot to punch in...then it doesn't matter if you're 30 minutes late or 3 hours late...ya get paid for the whole day...and if ya played it just right...NOBODY will pay attention...or at the very least they'll be just as confused as cornbread and you should be safe...see 5 minutes ago I had NO idea this is where we would end up saying goodbye for the day...til we meet again...don't buy watches that display 10:10!!!
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