Before I get started on the tidbit...lemme just take a few minutes to welcome all my readers...here and abroad...to the New Year...which itself is a misnomer...there's nothing "NEW" about it...it is simply just the "Next Year"...Under Kevin's Standards of Identity...the term NEW indicates something progressively better than the OLD item it replaces...indicating that everyone should toss out the OLD equipment...replace it with the NEW equipment...in an attempt to keep up with the Joneses...the term YEAR is also somewhat of a misnomer...depending on the readers current Apocalyptic belief system...those of you who have been subjected to a Mayan Mind Meld...similar to Spock's Vulcan Mind Meld...probably should be greeted with "Happy 9/10ths New Year"...as you will no doubt join a cult...shave your head...don a silky purple robe...gather in throngs with a buncha other Federal Standards of Identity employees and commit some sorta sub-species...societal suicide...and miss the last week and a half of 2012...should you find yourself among one of these "End of the World" catastrophic crews...do the rest of us a monumental country changing favor...grab a politician...a doctor...or a lawyer...and take them with you!!!
Now about our tidbit...in the grand scheme of misnomers...I can deal with "white chocolate" being incorrectly identified...however in order for us to "see" what is...as usual with internet information...completely wrong with this tidbit...what we first hafta do is understand the process of making chocolate...so I'll condense the process to eliminate enormous amounts of otherwise useless information...chocolate comes from the 'beans' found in cacao fruit...which grows on trees in tropical climates...once harvested...the fruit is split open...the 'beans' are collected...then they are smashed into a thick paste called "chocolate liquor"...there isn't any alcohol in it...(see a chain of events emerging here?) The term "chocolate liquor" itself is a misnomer...that paste is then dried...blah...blah...blah...the point is...the Federal Standards of Identity itself hasn't a clue what standards it should incorporate to correctly identify products...altho "white chocolate" doesn't contain "chocolate liquor"...the process of chocolate making...at it's base...remains the same...perhaps the Federal Standards of Identity should try it's hand @ correcting some of the more pertinent misnomers we are polluted with on a daily basis...terms like "insurgent"...which is defined as :
a person who rises in forcible opposition to lawful authority, especially a person who engages in armed resistance to a government or to the execution of its laws; rebel. As far as I know...according to the Pantheon of Printed Propaganda...the only time anyone of Arabic descent committed an act of "insurgency" was on 09/11/01...nothing in the definition of "insurgent" applies to the Iraqi people...they didn't forcibly rise up against their government...personally i couldn't give a flyin' fuck @ a rollin' donut how they govern their country or their people..."When in Rome"...we invaded them and basically steered them on a course towards "democracy"...another misnomer...a democracy is governed by the people...or their elected officials...not overrun by politicians who buy their way into power...or how about "Military Intelligence"...not only a misnomer...also an oxymoron...how much "Intelligence" can you possibly be credited with when it takes your sorry ass 10 years to find the MOST WANTED man on Earth...here's another one..."Patriot Act"...the language incorporated in this "law" is anything but Patriotic...it does NOTHING to instill patriotism or define it...it shoulda been called the "Anti-Patriot Act that enables politicians to further their own agenda"...and with the continuation of bills being passed into law in our current House and Senate it won't be long before the term "President of the United States" will itself be a misnomer...tyrannys don't preside over the people...they rule with absolute...unquestionable...power...hell I'll even admit that some of the terms I use are misnomers...for instance...calling "Dumbya" a short-bus seat sniffer...completely mis-identifying...short-bus seat sniffers are still capable of being educated...albeit at a different level than the rest of us...now there are some...if not several of you...who are lifelong fans of Detroit area professional sports teams...so...with the exception of the RED WINGS...you should be all to accustomed to misnomers...especially those associated with the LIONS...who entered the playoffs as a "Wild Card"...nothing "Wild" about it...unless of course you consider being the better than a handful of doormats something special...some of you will be quick to jump on my COWBOYS and the fact that they didn't make the playoffs @ all...which makes you dumber than "Dubya" @ Disneyland dancin to Disco Duck...I've been more than adamant about the absence of talent located directly behind center in Dallas...maintaining honesty and integrity about the hapless chances of my team winning anything while continuing to employ the likes of "HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED"...some of you firmly believe that this is the year the LIONS restore the ROAR...my question to you is...what happened to it in the first place??? You hafta have a ROAR in order to restore it...I have a cat with laryngitis that makes more noise than anything @ Ford Field...YOU...personally...stand a better chance of obtaining an "Invisibility Cloak" from Harry of Hogwarts fame than the LIONS do of ever winning the Lombardi...and GOOD LUCK to you...I wouldn't wanna be seen sportin' a LIONS jersey either...I feel terrible for Matthew Stafford...who has shown that he BELONGS in this league...he hasta feel like the Second Coming of Sanders...the only piece of the talent puzzle put on the field...I know...I know...I hear it already..."Well if that's the case...why aren't the COWBOYS in the playoffs??? It's quite simple...especially in this day and age...there are 6 key positions on offense which a team must have in order to attain Gridiron Greatness...first and foremost a QB...Detroit has one...we don't...a Running Back...we have one...Detroit doesn't...2 complimentary Wide Receivers...Dallas yes...Detroit...no...a Tight End who can run...block...and catch...Dallas yes...Detroit no...an elephant eating Blindside Tackle...Dallas yes...Detroit gettin' there...so you see...Dallas is a Matthew Stafford away from restoring GREATNESS...whereas the LIONS are a Romo away from keeping with the Super Bowl Ring-less tradition they have always known...even if ROMO isn't traded...demoted to third string waterboy...jock-strap junkie...@ most I have another 6 years of futility before my team makes a course correction and once again challenges for the Crown...the LIONS have another 6 decades of mismanaging misnomers of their own before they have a hope in hell of contending...here's something we can all do for fun...it's playoff prediction time...so let's all don our Nostradamus of the NFL caps and have @ it...I'll post mine here...feel free to click on the comment box below and post your own predictions...the ONE AND DONE teams...for the AFC...the BENGALS and BRONCOS will fall...the BENGALS are OHIO's answer to the LIONS...the BRONCOS can't TEBOW their way past the STEELERS...in the NFC...the LIONS and the GIANTS fall...the LIONS because they haven't a soul on defense who can cover everyone Brees is gonna connect with aerially...the GIANTS because in all honesty all they did was win the DIPSHIT DIVISION...there isn't a team from that division worthy of even watching a playoff game...2nd round gets a little dicier...taking into account 1st round predictions are correct...the TEXANS should face NEW ENGLAND...and the STEELERS should face the RAVENS...the TEXANS and RAVENS fall...the TEXANS because you don't hafta be a pigskin prophet to realize Tom Brady hasn't finished his illustrious career...and the RAVENS because history repeats itself and the f*ckin' Steelers always seem to end up getting there...the AFC Championship game goes to NEW ENGLAND because I grew up with a STEELERS fan in the house and to say I dislike them would be classified a misnomer by the Federal Standards of Identity...in the NFC...I've already listed the LIONS and GIANTS as dropping out of the race...(and for those of you harboring any doubt about the LIONS)...last game of the regular season...PACKERS sideline Aaron Rodgers and basically send a telegram to the LIONS front office saying..."THIS GAME MEANS LESS TO US THAN CHEDDAR CHEESE FLAVORED COFFEE...get yourselves a better seed @ our expense"...they then proceeded to send MATT FLYNN...(Who the hell is that?)...onto the field...and this 7th round draft pick...(do the math...30 teams...7 rounds...that means his ass sat for hours at the NFL complex on draft day...weighing his secondary career choices...while 180 to 209 players were selected before him...probably thinking he had as much of a chance setting a cleated foot on a football turf as he did of developing interstellar travel...NOT a chance in hell)...playing in only his 2nd professional game...dismantled...decimated...and destroyed Detroits defensive secondary to the tune of 6 TD's and almost 500 yds...and now they face Drew Brees and the record obliterating SAINTS...anyone wanna sign up for Developmental Procedures Regarding Interstellar Space Travel...consider it carefully...itsa different colored bandwagon...but @ least it has a shot...now 2nd round predictions include the FALCONS falling to GREEN BAY...and the 49er's bowing to the SAINTS...the Vick-less FALCONS are a flash in the pan...incapable of contending annually...while the 49er's are in their first year of the HARBAUGH era...(they will be a force to reckon with in the years to come...I think old Jimmy boy will eventually set new standards for coaching in the NFL)...so this year is more a practice run for future Division Dominating Drives...the NFC Championship game will feature the PACKERS and SAINTS...and I give this one to the SAINTS...they may have fewer regular season wins than the PACKERS...and until the final 2 weeks of the season I had these teams tied neck and neck as this years Super Bowl winner...but the PACKERS defense showed how susceptible they are to an emerging gridiron gunner when they allowed STAFFORD and the LIONS to stay in the game by throwing for over 500 yds and 5 TD's themselves...Drew Brees is light years ahead of where Stafford will one day be...so the PACKERS add their name to the list of teams BREES threw for over 400 yds against...in the SUPER BOWL we will see NEW ENGLAND square off against the SAINTS and the "WHO DAT" nation...this game has the potential to rewrite Super Bowl history books...2 QB cannons capable of pinpoint accuracy even the U.S. Dept of Defense wishes it could incorporate into smart-bomb technology...Defensive linemen that simply swallow the line of scrimmage...these 2 teams are so drenched in talent I can foresee over 1,000 yds combined offensive output...as well as 10+ combined TD passes...now I know some of you are begging to question my Gridiron Guruness...by comparing that last prediction to the final game of the regular season between the LIONS and PACKERS...and to that all I can say is..."Hey even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then"!!!
Now on a completely different topic...thru my blog site I am able to somewhat see where my audience resides...and the stats are staggering...so far these are the stats...
United States = 874
Russia = 100
Germany = 21
India = 2
South Korea = 2
Indonesia = 1
Latvia = 1
Malaysia = 1
just thought I'd share that with everyone...and give a big THANK-YOU to those who have helped spread the word to your friends and family...if you haven't done so already...I ask that you copy and paste the URL for this site on your FB profile...thru mass multi-emails or what have you...I'd like to see just how many different countries I can compile...THANK-YOU all for your continued support...Haouli Makahiki Hou...Happy New Year!!!
United States = 874
Russia = 100
Germany = 21
India = 2
South Korea = 2
Indonesia = 1
Latvia = 1
Malaysia = 1
just thought I'd share that with everyone...and give a big THANK-YOU to those who have helped spread the word to your friends and family...if you haven't done so already...I ask that you copy and paste the URL for this site on your FB profile...thru mass multi-emails or what have you...I'd like to see just how many different countries I can compile...THANK-YOU all for your continued support...Haouli Makahiki Hou...Happy New Year!!!
