There are places in Saskatchewan called Elbow...Eyebrow...and Drinkwater...
Considering that I've been to Saskatchewan when I was stationed @ Minot AFB, North Dakota...I don't find this hard to believe...and they're NOT just names of places in that Canadian Province...they're actually directions...you hafta ELBOW your way thru all the ladies who have lizard skin and one EYEBROW before you can DRINKWATER @ any of the local liquor serving establishments...Saskatchewan is alot like Washington D.C. with it's odd monikers and nicknames for places...for instance in our Nation's Capitol we have places with informative labels as well,,,Asshole Alley...which is reached by walking down the Hypocrite Hallway located in the East Wing of the White House...for a brief period of time during Wild Bill's heydey the 'Oral Office' was also housed in the gated community found @ 1600 Pennsylavania Avenue...and while we're on the subject of odd names...right here in Michigan we have a town called 'Hell'...why the entire state didn't adopt this title is beyond me...I've studied Greek mythology...and if this godforsaken place isn't 'Hell'...it bears a striking resemblance to Hades...as for Saskatchewan...it is home to a whopping 15 cities...they call them cities anyway...but I guess when your ass gets lost that far north...any gathering of more than 2 families would be considered a city...there's also Moose Jaw...a warm little place where the women all look like the long lost unshaven female siblings of Paul Bunyan's Blue Ox...Babe...there's also Regina...pronounced Ruh Gi Na...like Vagina...with an 'R'...so named after the oldest living performing prostitute in the Province...she makes Barbara Bush look like a runway model...there's also a place called Estevan...a misspelled moniker...it should have been spelled Esteban...as it was originally in Hispanic languages...it is named for all the wayward Mexican's who made their border crossin into the U.S. @ night...completely disregarding the sign above the hole in the fence notifying them they had reached the Promised Land...only realizing after the first winter hits that Canada isn't climatically friendly to the warm weather enjoying Latino populace...then there's Flin Flon...notta fuckin' clue...apparently at some point in the history of assinine places to end up...a traveling band of Norweigan Gypsies musta got lost in that neck of the woods...otherwise it just ends up sounding like a phone answering service for dolphins with a lisp...then there's Meadow Lake...Meadow...Lake...Meadow...Lake...say it with me 'til it sinks in...Meadow...Lake...I wonder if it empties into the Grassland Ocean...or maybe it has waves of wheat that gently splash on the shores of Boulder Beach...maybe you hafta get there by walkin thru Sandy Fields...fear not tho my faithful readers...I have begun a petition to rename the entire Washington D.C. area...to something I find all too fitting...and ultra-inclusive of the people who populate that cess pool of political pontification...I was thinking along the lines of Anal Cavity Canyon...can I get an AMEN!!!
