Stannous Flouride, which is the cavity fighter found in toothpaste, is made from recycled tin...
Oh boy...isn't that just a wonderful...tasty...little nugget of knowledge...kinda makes ya wonder where they might be harvesting all this tin for recycling purposes don't it??? Local landfill lookin a little lite...that new tube of Crest sorta taste like a mixture of Sausage Gumbo...Green Beans...and cat litter??? Brings to question a few other concerns...if tin...recycled or not...is the leading cavity fighter in toothpaste...why aren't 4 outta 5 Dentists recommending it to their patients??? Why aren't toothbrushes manufactured by companies like S.O.S. or Brillo Pad...bought prepackaged with enough tooth powder to provide 3 daily brushings for a month??? How come Billy Goats...who are rumored to ingest everything from tin cans to tires...aren't somehow ingrained into every oral hygienic producing companies corporate logo??? Big ass billboards displaying Bubba the billy goat...his mouth full of junkyard garbage...grinnin ear to ear...with a cloud of fresh anti-halitosis Hisbiscus breath circling his head...why...if tin is such a great cavity fighter...is pop bad for your teeth...it comes completely enclosed in a tin can...I'd think you'd wanna gargle with it 8 to 12 times a day...and why in the hell aren't we required to get tetanus shots once a month...I'd hafta believe that some of the tin gathered from recycling plants would contain a little rust...more than a little if it's your local junkyard that's decreasing in size rather than the landfill...and seriously...take a look at West Virginia...there are more toothless hillbillies manning tin shine stills than you could shake a stick at...those people oughtta have such omnipotent oral hygiene our government woulda been forced to abolish the idea of Prohibition long before it ever became a nationally accepted NO-NO...not to mention their flatland...below the foothills...friends and family members...the U.F.O. abductees...one anal probing on an interplanetary spaceship and these people resort to lining the walls of their houses with Tinfoil to keep out the harmful rays the aliens use to locate test subjects...instead of missing every other tooth in their head...these Foil Fedora wearin freaks should be damn near shark like...possessing the ability to sprout a new tooth everytime one falls out...why do we unwrap a stick of chewing gum before commencing to masticate it into a flavorless ball of faded rubber...it comes wrapped ina nice little piece of shiny foil...it would hafta be more advantageous just to pop the whole thing in your gullet and get to grindin...why don't we all have the same...sun-catching...eye-sparkilng smiles...if tin is the answer to eliminating cavities why don't we go thru a coming of age ritual where back alley blacksmiths are enlisted to hammer out tin grills for all of when our final adult tooth erupts thru the gumline and aligns itself accordingly...we should all be walking around with sunglasses and sun-catcher smiles...the dental profession should be as antiquated as carpet-baggers...what's next in the palace of palatable...yet unknown medicinal secrets...the silkiness associated with fine hair care products like Conditioner is actually made from the finely shredded...punishingly pulverized...recycled droppings of the rainbow assed babboon??? Ever taken a hunk of tinfoil...balled it up and tossed it into the canyonous recesses of your canine container...and attempted to let it touch your teeth...let alone chew on it...kinda gives ya the same feeling as when some assbag scratches their overgrown...ass nugget grabbin' claws across a chalkboard...I've NEVER been a big fan of the hypocrites adorning the field of dentistry...Rule # 1...NEVER put sharp things in your mouth...what's the first thing that savant of the saliva slide does...take something long...sharp...and pointy...and start jamming it haphazardly around your teeth and gums...often accompanied by the monotonistic melody..."Does that hurt? Are you experiencing any discomfort?"...this f*ckin' genius invested several tens of thousands of dollars obtaining the necessary skills to peer into your piehole...take note of a few discolored...apparently affected areas...and determine that they may be cavitous...but he hasn't the common sense to realize that the ass-crawling outta the chair method of movement you're currently attempting to apply with the utmost professionalism is more often associated with him prodding...poking...jabbin...and jammin long metal cyndrilical objects in and out of the soft tissues of your tongue...cheek and tooth area...just once...after being asked those ignorant information gathering queries...I'd like to shove a red hot poker so far up his rectal region it singes nose hair...and say to him..."I dunno there doctor skewl dropout...does that tickle a little?" Or grab his little naughty sac of nuggets in a vice...squeeze one til his travels up the anal-optic nerve...pops out an eye...and leaves a socket full of untrimmed sweat streaked scrotum hair...and politely ask..."am I applying to much pressure...or do I have your undivided attention yet?" I don't even want to be enlightened as to the manufacturing process involved in extracting Stannous Flouride from recycled tin...I can only imagine it is on par with the pacifistic procedures perfected in other enormous industrial indulgences like the magnificently humane methods mindlessly adhered to in the beef and poultry procuring plantations...fear not the health hazards one might find completely plausible in this little fact finding foray...all you need do is triple up on your orally hygenic habits and before you know it you'll be invisible to aliens and confuse the shit outta State Police Speed Traps anywhere on the planet...either that or you'll have a leg up when they make the sequel to The Wizard of Oz: The Tin-Mans Tramp terrifies Toto...starring you and your glorious...gleaming...recycled grill from the garden of garbage your armpit sweat swillin' neighbor keeps fully functional by tossing everything imaginable into...here's a thought...possible ad-campaign...Save Yourself Some Money...Brush with Brillo...why the hell not...you're already scrubbin away with recycled tin...chockful of yesterday's flavors...Brillo Pads can do the same damn thing...and retain morsels from those baked on...hard to clean cermaic cooking surfaces...itsa WIN-WIN scenario...kinda like if Dumbya had been able to formulify a complete sentencified explanationary paragraphical whatmathingamajigcallit that was actually understandibilized thru the interpretationism efforts of his most innerside group of speech scribblers!!!
