Left-handed people are statistically more likely to be geniuses, and to be insane...
Well now...isn't that interesting...since insanity and brilliance walk hand in hand for the most part...and a blanket coverage statistic cannot really be argued...the poor bastard with a tendency to lean to the left will undoubtedly be considered either one of the smart kids in class...or one of the slow learners...in either case the statistic will be applicable...I mean really...it's the same as sayin'...left handed people are statistically more likely to be smart...or stupid...flip a coin...you're gonna fall into one category or the other...seriously...who can't make up statistics like this...I could do it all day...Fat kids are statistically more likely to eat junk food...and avoid a healthy diet...NO SHIT...YA DON'T SAY...Ugly people are statistically more likely to live alone...and not be attractive...WOW...I never woulda guessed...Lions fans are statistically more likely to remain loyal to their team...and NEVER see them win a playoff game or reach the Super Bowl...here's the thing...the ONLY thing that should really matter when subjects of this nature are the topic of discussion...STATISTICS are statistically more likely to be wrong...and made up...NOBODY conducts analytical research to dream up these stats...with the advance of the internet...it is NO longer necessary...people make shit up and post it on a daily basis...the majority of idiots on the internet are statistically similar to the blonde bimbo in the State Farm commercials...they believe everything they read on the internet as being factual...they very seldom think outside the screen when they are sitting in front of a computer...they buy into the bullshit full force and plod along with their happy little lives...it happens everywhere we look...here's a perfect example of a statistic that was misrepresented recently...Sunday...the Detroit Lions lost for the 10th time this season...NO big surprise there...well NO big surprise there for anyone that follows football realistically...after the game the ESPN commentators all jumped on the MEGATRON bandwagon...explaining how he is on the verge of breaking the single season record for receiving yards currently held by Jerry Rice...I find that very interesting...and HALF right...if MEGATRON manages 182 yards over the next two games he will INDEED pass a record held by Jerry Rice...there is a HUGE difference however...Jerry Rice's statistical record CANNOT be broken by MEGATRON regardless of how many yards he gets in the next two games...he CAN set a completely new record if he gets the yards he needs...why are they different folks??? Come on...I'm sure there are a few of you faithful to the Honolulu Blue Boys...what is the BIGGEST difference??? Anyone??? That's what I figured...even the faithful CANNOT see the light...MEGATRONS record is far more distinctive in nature...he will accomplish his feat on a team with 10 or more losses...a situation Jerry NEVER faced in all his years of playing...How many of you were aware that over 50% of all statistics are made up??? Here's one for ya...people that run around with there head shoved up their asses are statistically more likely to think their shit don't stink...people who on the other hand...have more common sense than a carton of broken eggs...are statistically more likely to call bullshit on the things they find fault with...I...for instance...am statistically more likely to call someone that is a DUMBASS...a DUMBASS than I am to give them a pat on the back for being mentally equivalent to a mushroom...why??? Because rewarding someone for being f**ktarded instills the belief in them that they should procreate...a drastically different direction than I would prefer them to travel in!!!
