In 2000, traces of cocaine were found on 99% of UK bank notes in London...
Well...seems we've found the money laundering location for cocaine carrying cowboys from the Colombian cartels that offer their products in the United Kingdom...or did everyone else miss that along with the British intelligence agency that had to be responsible for leaking this information...NOW all they hafta do is find out where all this nose candy contaminated cash is coming from...chances are it's one of the people supplying the drug...I could be wrong...it really doesn't shock me...this tidbit...because it is also true of over 95% of U.S. Twenty dollar bills...not too mention ones...tens and fives...apparently it is quite popular to use money to snort snot soda...which to me doesn't make much sense...I'm NOT a cocaine user...so it doesn't matter to me...but one of the things I recall learning in SCIENCE class was that the paper used to print money here in American...is capable of absorbing twice it's weight in water...NOW as I understand it...thanks to MSNBC and some of the shows they air that seem to glorify the drug trade...go figure...the process of creating snortable cocaine involves drying out the paste that the raw form of the drug comes in since in this state it is highly toxic...regardless of the agent used to perform this process...most of the cocaine that the DEA ships into America...did I say DEA...I meant Colombian drug kingpins...I really did...because there is a difference...one of them is paid by the federal government...the other is paid by the employees of the federal government...anyway...the majority of the product that reaches our shores...ranges between 92-95% pure...which means that it still contains a fair amount of moisture... which is then absorbed by the money these idiots use to shove that shit up their noses...each and every one of you reading this communique about the evidence of cocaine on money...are currently holding a piece of paper money that has traces of cocaine on it...kinda shocking isn't it...ya know what else is found on paper money...fecal matter...germs...bacteria...shit that has rubbed off over the years from all the people who have been handling it...how absolutely retarded...why don'tcha just stick your damn head in the toilet of one of those plastic poop palaces we were just discussing yesterday and eliminate the coca altogether...for the longest time I wouldn't open a bank account...I preferred to carry my money in the one place I knew it was safe...in my pocket...that way you could have it when I wanted to give it to you and not a minute before...and I didn't hafta worry about what hours the bank was open or if the ATM had a fee...NOW I seldom touch paper money...except for specific purchases...NOT because it has trace amounts of cocaine on it...hell I'd be willing to bet if you could find a way to extract all that powder that the paper purloined it would be worth more than the actual paper you found it on...but because there isn't a need for it...paper money represents the possibility of risk...it can be stolen and used without being traceable except by serial numbers...something the majority of us fail to take the time to jot down every single time we receive a new bill...a lesson I have learned on more than one occasion...debit cards on the other hand can be protected with a four digit security code which can be changed as you see fit...and I don't care if you steal my card...because you'll NEVER get me to give up the code...and NOT because I'm filthy rich beyond belief...far from it...but because I don't hafta...and for every penny I am lacking in riches...I more than make up for in stubbornness...you can even kidnap my kids and I won't fess up the four digits...whaddaya think I am retarded...you took 'em...you feed 'em for a week...you'll bring them back...freshly bathed and with baskets of fruit and gifts from the magi...if you happen to be one of these nose blowin' powder junkies that thinks it's kewl to snort your sit thru paper money...pay me a visit before your next binge...I have these NEW things I will gladly trade you for that paper money...and get this...they may actually improve your penchant for poundin' powder up your nasal passages...they're called STRAWS...(Don't judge me...I'm NOT selling the drugs or endorsing their use...I'm exploiting a viable market...it's called CAPITALISM...blame the government)...Happy Humpday folks!!!
