If you align your bed with the North Pole, the Earth's magnetic field will pass longitudinally through your body and ensure a good night's sleep...
Hmmm...while I may NOT agree with the language and details of this tidbit...it does shed light on a subject which should be of interest to sheltered children under the age of 3...if it is true...it debunks the rumor surrounding Old Saint Nick...because as a resident of the North Pole one would be safe in assuming that the Earth's magnetic field is a constant part of every day society...if it induces a good night's sleep...and the North Pole is normally covered in darkness for longer periods than areas at other latitudes...especially during the colder winter months...I dare say that fat bastard NEVER gets outta bed...therefore he sure as hell can't fly around the planet in a single night...that aspect aside...this idiot misrepresented another very important fact...the Earth's magnetic field does not pass THROUGH a human body...it might pass over a human's body...if it passed through us we would all wake up with metal objects attached to our heads...DUMBASS...get the wording right...kinda hard to get a good night's rest when you have alarm clocks...watches and jewelry flying off of shelves and smackin' ya in the face...ya know what does ensure a good night's sleep...EXHAUSTION... ALCOHOL...MEDICAL MARIJUANA...separate or combined...doesn't matter...and there is an added advantage to these sleeping solutions...NO metallic objects are involved...and here is another little lost factual information regarding the Earth's magnetic field...it does surround the planet in a longitudinal manner...however it has strengths and weaknesses...certain parts of it provide the planet with better protection whereas other areas lack the same capabilities...and since the Earth rotates along a latitudinal course through space...and the magnetic field does not rotate along with it...over the course of an eight hour event such as sleep...the sleeper will undergo various pulls from the magnetic field that is passing OVER the human body...good sound sleep under these conditions would therefore be unobtainable...much like a worthwhile education has escaped the grasp of this mutton headed meat sack...my Momma gets a good night's sleep wherever she goes...ya know what her tricks of the trade are...conventional methods of personal containment...she puts in ear plugs and dons a night mask to keep the light out...NEITHER of them made from metal...or having anything to do with the Earth's magnetic field...ya know what else a good night's sleep requires...the absence of insomnia...sleep apnea...stress...anxiety...caffeine...or other issues that promote ALERTNESS rather than SLUMBER...if all that was required for a good night's sleep was the proper alignment of the bed with the North Pole...don'tcha think all of our house would be built accordingly...making it impossible to NOT get a good night's sleep...NO??? you don't buy that theory...of course NOT...it doesn't make sense...entire religious cults use this theory to build their temples and residences...to face what??? The promised land provided for them in the text of the tenets that they believe in...throughout the history of mankind objects on this planet have been built to point in a specific direction...whether it be another land based object or a particular part of the vast reaches of space...one would think that the same would apply to this area as well...but for some unknown reason...the majority of us live in residences that provide us with a view in multiple directions...we rearrange the furniture in these domiciles to suit our needs for aestheticism...we tend to ignore the incessant ramblings of the North Pole Neanderthals that inform us of our shortcomings in the sleeping situation...those of you that are having difficulty getting a good night's sleep should invest in a sleep aid...Tylenol PM...Nyquil...Captain Morgan...Crown Royal...Molokai Magic...Hindu Kush...whatever it takes to turn the lights off...and do yourself a favor...shit can the alarm clock in your bedroom...your body will awake when it is good and ready...STOP worrying about getting to work on time...that just results in stress and serves as a detriment to the plan...get your co-workers to follow suit and your employer will NOT fire you...you'll ONLY lose your job if you look LAZY and unconcerned...if everyone else is doing it...you will go unnoticed...take advantage of your cranial capacitor and figure this shit out...ya don't need a degree to think for yourself...it is one of the ONLY true freedoms we have in life...the ability to think for ourselves without the interference of others...use it wisely!!!
