Author Robert May had 3 names under consideration for his red-nosed reindeer-Reginald, Rollo, & Rudolph...
Actually Reggie woulda been a kewl name...but in the late '60's Reggie sported a fro...donned a beret and became a Black Panther instead...Rollo on the other hand wore polyester suits...ate planetary plates of pasta...and was the guy the Don sent to your house to bust your knee caps if ya didn't pay off your loan...that left Rudolph...Adolph's younger brother to fill the role of our beloved reindeer...who's nose turned as red as a rummy on New Year's Eve after his older brother rose to power...in light of the Holiday season...as well as the ending of Hunting season...I found an alternate version of the old song that I'd like to dedicate to all the hunters who are going out into the woods this morning for one final shot at baggin that elusive buck..."Rudolph the red nosed rein-BANG!"...short song...needs some work...probably why it didn't catch on so well...and what about all the other reindeer...were there any other names under consideration for them??? Dasher...Dancer...Prancer...and Vixen...sounds like a numbers runner @ Vegas...his pole dancing stripper sister...their gay, pit boss pimp of a brother...and their streetwalkin Mother...Comet...Cupid... Donner...and Blitzen...a stargazing wannabe astrologist...somebody who moonlights after valentine's Day to pay the rent...a country crossing band of ill equipped cannibals...and a WWII Nazi veteran bent on dropping bombs down chimneys all over England...the hispanic refer to the reindeer as...Las nueve bestias de carga que llevan el gordo color rojo con frijoles una vez al ano...which means...The nine beasts of burden who bring the fat red man with frijoles once a year...they have names for them like Juan...Julio...Jesus...Juanita... Conchita...Carlos...Pedro and Pablo...with Ramirez leading the way...of course in their version burro's replace the reindeer and instead of sleigh they're draggin behind them a broken down '66 Chevy Impala lowrider with a chubby gringo wearin a sombrero sittin on the hood...thru the border town of Old El Paso...Amazing how even the simplest of things are often repeated through out history...it's also rumored that Barbara Bush had 3 nicknames under consideration for her little red nosed Republican...Dumbo, Dipshit & Dumbass...can you imagine the live performance nativity scene @ the Bush family household every Christmas...Barbara as the Virgin Mary...George Sr as Joseph...Dick Chaney as the baby Jesus...Jeb... Jedidiah and our favorite short bus seat sniffer Dubya as the 3 wise men...I know...makes ya wanna cry for the future of mankind don't it...hell it would make me pray every night that the Annunaki get here early...lol... and who was the genius that came up with the color red for the nose...as a beacon to guide the sleigh thru dense fog...a drug addled poet without a clue as to the aspects of the color spectrum...that's who...you don't see big red shining orbs rotating along the coasts in lighthouses do ya...NO...and why??? Because if they were red they would mark the scene of shipwrecks instead of avenues to avoid such calamities...bearing that in mind...I firmly believe one day we will find that Santa Claus did...at one time...exist...and we'll find his frozen remains when the ice caps melt in the coming Global Warming epidemic...along with 4 and a half of the remaining reindeer...HEY...don't shoot the messenger...the rescue team probably got lost looking for a shiny red light in a fog filled blizzard and ended up in Pakistan shooting...verifying the identity of Osama...and dumping the evidence in some off shore casket...instead of airdropping a crate of cookies and a half dozen self milking...pre pasteurized cows to the rojo gringo so he could wait out the storm...the story will be re-written and poor Rudolph will go down in history as having eyesight worse than Don Quixote...the famous windmill warrior...red lights have a specific purpose...in Danish society...they mark the area vividly for brothels of ill reputable acts...Amsterdam anyone??? LOL
