The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is "Live Free Or Die"...These license plates are made by prisoners at the State Penitentiary located at Concord
Truly amazing...I just read this week where inmates of another New England state...Vermont if memory serves correctly...were responsible for making the decals that are applied to State Police vehicles...apparently the fine upstanding individuals in that state's penal system have a greater sense of humor...they incorporated pigs into the colorful detail of the decals...state officials didn't realize this incident until after several hundred decals had already been applied...personally I found it not only extremely funny...but also rather clever...kinda takes the Truth in advertising to a whole new level...too bad this method of identification isn't more commonly used in all walks of life...New Hampshire seems to be the leader among progressive states...having contemplated seceeding from the Union...Same Sex marriages...and apparently successfully grasping the definition of Irony...New Hampshire is also a state that has the death penalty on the books...altho as of 2008 they only had one inmate on 'death row'...so maybe their state slogan should be..."Live Free Or Fry"...ya know...I'd be a little pissed if I were incarcerated in Concord, New Hampshire...having to get up everyday...hurry to the mess hall for one of those tasty ass breakfast specials...line up for work detail...shuffle down the hall...heel to toe with the other innocent inmates...and hammer out license plates all day with that slogan on it...as a matter of fact I'd put that little saying to the test...I can't for the life of me understand...especially in this day and age of overindulgent frivolous lawsuits that seem to be granted everytime somebody gets an ingrown hair right in the sweetspot where the asscheeks come together...why nobody at that facility has thought of this yet...maybe my Mother was a closet hippie back in the early '60's and by some stroke of hallucinatory luck I was born with the gift of seeing the obvious when it appears hidden from all the other upright walking free-thinkers...somebody out there...who is an avid follower of this blog...should see where this is headed...(did I just say that out loud)...listen...it's simple...I could move to Concord, New Hampshire tomorrow...commit some non-violent felonius crime...get sentenced to spend eternity in their State Penitentiary...and I can guarantee you...with absolute certainty that I...Kevin M. Wixson...would NEVER...NOT for even a split second...set foot in the factory wing responsible for the manufacturing of those shiny metallic plates with letters and numbers on them...anybody know why??? Go ahead...shout it out if ya know it...no??? Specifics...in a nutshell...if the State slogan is..."Live Free Or Die"...(in the words of Dirty Steve in Young Guns)..."Shoot me then Mexican"...that's right execute me...I'd start a revolution inside those walls...get every single inmate to demand what the State offers...the right to Live Free...Or Die...whaddaya wanna bet they'd change that f**kin' slogan in a second...that or find a new way to identify ownership of vehicles...I might hafta spend a few miserable months in solitary for this little subversive stunt...but then again the parole board might find it in their best interest...financially at least...to grant my lily white ass early release...given this elaborate episode would undoubtedly affect their fiscal budget...(ya either hafta retool the stamping plates with a new slogan...or kill everybody...close the priosn...and farm out the plate punching as a new profession)...I doubt very seriously they're gonna wanna risk continuing my confinement...I can see it now...Special Parole Board Hearing...I get called in...first question they ask is..."So, Mr. Wixson...do you think you have been rehabilitated?"..."I dunno...I was here for a whole day before I shut down your license plate factory...considering we're sitting here having this conversation I'd say you've decided NOT to grant us our demand for death...which could only mean you have selected a new slogan...and are at this very moment accepting bids to have the stamping plates retooled...I can't say I'm rehabilitated...because right now...I feel FAN-F**KIN-TASTIC...I'll tell ya what...keep me here...I'm sure I could find enough ways to plunder the coffers you idiots will be speaking Canadian in 5 more years!!!
Now I may not be Aesop...but I'm sure they get the point...Don't show up for a Meeting of the Minds ill-equipped to do serious Brain Damaging Battle...I'll thump your ass every time!!!
