Someone within 200 miles of the town you live in claims to have had direct contact with a monster, ghost, or other unexplainable being...
Here we go again...first of all the 200 mile radius claim has got to be a median average...that number grows expotentially the further south you get...and depending on your understanding of prior posts regarding similar info...this is definitely in the 'quite possibly true' category...we've heard from our friends the paranormal experts that humans peak @ ghost sighting capability prior to attaining the age of 7...and I'm pretty sure...whether we know them personally or not...we all have someone 7 years old or younger living within 200 miles of us...except @ the planets opposing poles...where ghosts...monsters...and 7 year olds have no business...the really funny inclusion in this tidbit are the last 3 words..."other unexplainable being"...that incorporates a wide variety of misunderstood...improperly identified 'things'...anyone living within 200 miles of Washington D.C....or Texas...during the 8 year stint of America's greatest wordsmith...undeniably fall into this category...whether they realized it or not...most of these otherworldly experiences come from the sub culture of idiots who wake up one morning to find the likeness of Jesus staring up @ them from their bowl of oatmeal...the underlying problem with all these eerie encounters is...PROOF OF EXISTENCE...the History Channel...one of my favorite viewing formats has a show devoted to a group of monster hunting morons who track down every dumbass Sasquatch story that comes down the pipeline...seriously??? NOBODY has ever found Sasquatch droppings...anything resembling a bedding place for these beasts...leftover carcasses from meals...so either Sasquatches the world over are ultra intelligent...closet clean freak...insomniac...leaf eaters...or...more than likely...THEY DO NOT EXIST!!! Look how long it took the fucktards @ the Department of Defense to obtain the whereabouts of the enigmatically elusive Osama bin Laden...and they KNEW he was real...you'd have better luck locating the lost city of Atlantis...or the Fountain of Youth...than some fairy tale monster who sprung to life outta some childrens ghost story novel...there are NO Werewolves...NO Vampires...and after the coming of age event known as the 7th birthday...NO ghosts!!! Now as far as our otherplanetary probing lifeforms who magically appear everytime some redneck gets lost finding his way outta the woods...I doubt very seriously they pose a threat to our existence...otherwise we'd have outfits containing easy access finger slots in the seat area of all our lower extremity clothing apparatus'...I do not doubt that life exists beyond the confines of our planet and it's atmosphere...it goes without question...there are too many unanswered...unproven questions regarding our existence and how we came to be here...I also have NO doubt people all over the world encounter things they cannot explain...I run into it everytime I step beyond the threshhold of my domicile...people who consider it completely acceptable to enter the public eye wearing clothes they couldn't fit in 20 years ago when their more astutely sculptured bodies had a hope of impressing others...I found it completely unexplainable that one of our elected leaders initiated the "No Child Left Behind" act...when it was apparent he failed miserably during the public address/speech making portion of 5th grade english...most of the people who make this claim...to have seen something unexplainable...often suffer from the hallucinatory effects of an illicit substance...alcohol...LSD...opium... or something similar...while others suffer from the mental education most commonly associated with the procreationary puddle of goo you bring into this world after sleeping with your sister/aunt...honestly tho I can't wait for something factual to be caught on camera during one of these ghost hunting... sasquatch finding episodes...it's the sole reason I watch these dumbasses...it'll be epic to witness a bunch of burly...bearded...outdoorsmen running helter skelter thru the woods...shoes...hats...screams...and a stream of shit littering the forest floor behind them...I often wonder exactly what the hell these idiots propose to do should they ever make actual contact with something NONE of us has ever really seen...are they gonna sit down and have coffee...tape an interview...NO...they're gonna do what everyone else who says they've encountered these things does...try like hell to outrun their friends thereby ensuring their own safety at the expense of having to deliver the news that Stevie got swallowed up by a big old hairy Sasquatch...the things people will do in order to acquire their 15 minutes of fame...look it's really rather simple...if your ass is seein' ghosts...monsters...or other unexplainable things in your general vicinity you have 2 options...MOVE and leave no forwarding address...wouldn't want them following you...or get your doctor to adjust your meds...think outside the box...most unidentifiable objects usually just need to be researched more...hell before I knew what a WOK was I woulda called it a U.F.O....an Unidentified Frying Object!!!
