Archaeologists believe that cavemen used clams and shark teeth to shave with...
HMMM...HMMMM...HMMmmm...here's another frontal lobotomy survivor...one of the coathanger halo crew if ever there was one...either somebody dodged a bullet in utero...or they missed a very very important part of their history class...how many of ya caught immediately with what is fundamentally WRONG with the entire scenario proposed by the tidbit??? Go ahead...read it again...one more time...let it sink in...anybody catch it yet??? Okay let's dissect this moronic morsel of misinformation...and ship another shallow minded soul to the island...shall we??? I thought we might...seein' as how the TEETHLESS TIGERS really floundered out in Frisco this evening...giving hometown fans very little impression that they will turn this around...there were a few who showed up to PLAY...unfortunately Verlander now looks human and is closing in on being pitchings version of AROD...anyway...before I go gettin' all side tracked on sports...lemme regain my focus... ... ... ... ...sorry...whew...mighta held that one in a little too long...okay so...here we have an asshat announcing to the world their views on what archaeologists believe...NOW...I may be wrong...I'm NOT gonna guess at what cavemen did or didn't do...but I am gonna point out some very basic facts...until archaeologists begin unearthing SHARK TEETH & CLAMS from various CAVES around the world...Imma hafta call BULLSHIT on this one folks...because A.) SHARKS live in the sea...as do CLAMS...FAR AWAY from places where CAVES are normally found...and B) because there doesn't seem to be any evidence that supports a caveman's ability to FISH for either species...NOBODY has EVER discovered CAVE drawings of their FISHING exploits...considering the fact that at the time of the Paleolithic Age...when cavemen are thought to have existed...technology was sorely lacking...and KNOWLEDGE was severely limited...caves...normally being depicted as stone structures in the sides of mountains...and people of the age probably being as territorial as they are NOW...I would venture to guess they didn't venture far from the CAVE...any of them that did stumble upon a wild...wet...endless blue sea...probably turned and headed in another direction...believing that was the END of the known world...I doubt they stood around long enough to actually discover FISH of any species...SHELL or SHARK like...if they stumbled upon a CLAM SHELL or two...I'm sure they used it as a digging tool...what makes me BELIEVE this...because I am a STUDENT of human activity...take a two year old toddler to the beach for the first time and let them discover a CLAM shell...the first thing they will do with it is begin to dig in the sand...NOBODY hasta tell them to do this...or show them...it is INHERENT knowledge passed down genetically through the ages...CAVE people would NOT pick up an object they were unfamiliar with and try to use it as a personal grooming tool...they had NOBODY to get PRETTY for...you're walkin around NAKED...or wearing real animal pelts...you're hairs a mess and ya probably haven't figured out how to effectively wipe your ass...bathe...or brush your teeth...yet ya want me to believe the beard was such a bitch they just hadta find a way to shave it off...whaddaya figure they used for shaving cream there GENIUS...because I'm pretty damn sure that RIPPING hair from one's DRY face with a SHARK TOOTH or CLAM SHELL...is gonna be a one time solution...I mean correct me if I'm wrong here...or way out in left field...way back...deep in the stands...like 2 of the pitches JV threw last night...but wasn't the preferred tool of the day a CLUB...am I to believe these less than hickory smoked hillbilly people wandered to the shores of the continent they were on...waded out into the water and CLUBBED sharks to death to resupply their personal grooming care kit...I don't recall any depictions of well groomed cavemen...if archaeologists believe anything about the personal grooming habits of the Paleolithic Paternal Unit of the day...it's that they didn't HAVE ANY...somewhere in the world there is an enormous flushing noise echoing off the walls...as another College Education goes flowing down the fecal funnel!!!
