Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabet Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas...
That's interesting...a major player in the global food market chose sides during WWII...and yet were still allowed to conduct business with the enemy from within the safety of our shores...whaddaya suppose they did during the Vietnam War...make a product that consisted of little pasta shapes that looked like grains of rice...think maybe they have their fingers in the Middle Eastern Wars we are currently engaged in...say pasta shaped like little barrels of oil...camels...and unfolded towels??? Why didn't they expand even further during WWII...say make a version of pasta shaped like bombs...they coulda airdropped food supplies all over Britain and France...they could make a pasta-less version of Alphabet Soup and send it to North Korea...to symbolize their lack of utilizing electricity at night...I think they missed out on alot of financial gain...coulda made little Jewish star shaped pasta for those being persecuted...I'm sure most of us are pretty familiar with Heinz...as well as thier products...and I for one have NEVER been able to properly identify their little pasta shapes as resembling anything close to the alphabet I grew up learning in English class...stands to reason that the Hitler Swastika Stew they concocted during WWII...was a simple design flaw in the pasta cuttin process...that ended up coming out lookin' like little squares...American food companies aren't the only ones guilty of capitalizing on thier mistakes...as Momma can attest...every year...during the culmination of Major Sports Schedules...World Series...Super Bowl...NBA Finals...and the Stanley Cup...major clothing merchandisers jump the gun...they produce shirts...hats...and any and all other souvernirs associated with the event...for BOTH teams...knowing well in advance that there can be only ONE winner of said event...for instance...the last Super Bowl was played between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants...with the Giants prevailing...so what did Nike/Reebok/Adidas...or whoever had the contracts for merchandising materials...do with the product they mass produced for the losing team...the Patriots??? They shipped them overseas and sold them anyway...at a fraction of the price you paid for the appropriate gear...so now when you visit third world countries without cable or any everyday news source the populace can understand...you'll see a plethora of people garbed in the flawed fan-demonium of failure...it's called CAPITALISM...and according to those privvy to it...it's a working program without flaws...unfortunately CAPITALISM only works if you're fortunate enough to be born into it...because big business and government HATE competition...they will enact illegal laws that prevent your progress...or at the very least leverage a buyout...in which case they still win in the long run...half the garbage that adorns the shelves of your local supermarket...came from mistakes in the manufacturing process of other foods...I don't agree with the Heinz Company's tactics during WWII...but that's the beauty of corruption in this country...we own the copyright...we've mastered it in ways other countries envy...I suppose most of you think that the escalating gas prices are a direct result of the oil embargo currently in place against Iran...and in a round-about way you'd be correct...but NOT for the reasons you might think...big oil businesses here in America have been trying to figure out a way to raise gas prices in this country since the early 70's...they finally figured it out...initiate an oil embargo...or war...against one of the worlds leading oil rich countries...then buy the required barrels thru back channels...at a reduced rate...since the country in question is now stuggling to survive...jack up the prices at the pump...and reap the rewards...I know there are cynics amongst you...who prefer to believe what the goverment run mass media outlets like FOX NEWS tell ya...and to those of you who fall into this category...all I can say is...Ignorance is Bliss...there is NO hope for you...get your helmet on...tighten your chinstraps securely...and continue on with your uneventful ride...I'm surprised other food companies haven't jumped on board with this concept...they could manufacture a whole new line of products...History Hodge Podge Collection...depicting tragedies throughtout human history...Oscar Meyer could come out with...Big Bang Balogna...each piece would have a huge hole right in the middle where the meteor struck...Keebler could produce Colloseum Crackers...depicting images of half-eaten Christians crawling away from Lions and Tigers...Frito Lays could just put a French Flag on their product...the corn chips are already curled up in the fetal position fearing for their lives...Slim Jim could manufacture Kosher Jewish Jerkey...each strip shaped like a forearm...complete with a numeric tattoo branded on both sides...Minute rice could just change the packaging of their product...plaster a picture of Ho Chi Minh on the box and make it available in Vietnam...the possibilities are endless...Folgers could make Iron Curtain/Cold War Coffee...comes in brick form...ya hafta chisel off a chunk at a time...brew it for years...but in the end it has a faint taste of freedom...Dunkin could make Dutch Oven Donuts...shaped like skeletal remains...flavored with a hint of ash...Armour could make Atilla the Hun Hash...Mueller's would have the possibility to incorporate Luftwaffe Lasagna for England...served wave after wave...Kraft could invent Sparta Salad Dressing...capable of holding you over til the real meal arrived at the table...the list goes on and on... Del Monte's Desert Dromedary Delicacies...where everything tastes like dirt and camel dung...Eggo could make Revolutionary War Waffles...shaped like runnin' redcoats...smothered with Aunt Jemima's Two if by Sea Syrup...hell if we could get enough of these major food companies to cooperate we could eliminate the need for fiscal funding of History classes in every school across America...lighten the load for all those teachers...who seem to constantly complain about being overworked...while simultaneously enjoying the long summer break the rest of us forfeited upon completion of our academic achievements...you can't blame Heinz for being the epitome of early exploitation in a failed political system...the purpose of the United States Constitution is to limit the power of the Federal Government...NOT the American People...and until we MTFU (Man The F**k Up) and elect individuals who have the same values as the majority of the populace they were assigned to protect...the outlook of our country's future appears in need of Nabisco's...Wixson's New World Wafers...each cookie comes with an impression of my iconic image on one side...and an illuminated light bulb on the other...to help those without foresight see the direction our future should follow!!!
