WEIGHT WATCHERS!!!

Scientists believe the earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons...

Hmmm...lemme see if I get this right...when we as people are on Earth our weight is determined by the gravitational forces of our planet...yet when we launch a human into space they become weightless...they float around aimlessly and need outside propulsion resources in order to get them from one place to another...so wouldn't it stand to reason that Earth...which floats around in this big black vastness of soup called SPACE...is ultimately weightless...and even if it isn't...how do you hypothesize the overall weight of a planet???  Are we talking about just the planet itself...as well as it's natural resources???  Or are we talking about everything on Earth...people...buildings...cars...and all that kinda shit???  I'd like to know what data was collected in order to come up with this number???  I mean this planet has alotta shit that factors into the overall weight we establish for our little rock...things like volcanoes...that constantly erupt...spilling molten lava from different orifices...lava...which in molten form weighs differently than when it is in solid form...we also have water...which takes on several different forms...solid...liquid and gas...each of which has a different weight measurement associated with it...trees...which are cut down occasionally...and which grow annually...there are also other plant and animal life which fluctuate on a daily basis...entire species are eliminated daily...others haven't even been discovered or categorized yet...new life forms are still being found all over the world...so how in the hell do some of the people...who are considered among the most intelligent beings on the planet...come up with such a random number...is there an enormous scale sitting out there in space that we don't know about???  Here's the problem...whenever you see an estimate of this nature...one filled with more zeroes than other numbers...it means the person...or people...proposing the number...really don't have a damn clue as to what they are talking about...there are way too many variables...farmers that raise animals and plants as a food source have begun using steroids in order to make the things they raise bigger...thereby providing greater profit and more abundant food sources...another part of the problem with this sort of estimate is this...who really gives a shit...and what purpose does knowing this kind of information serve???  I doubt very seriously that it's gonna be of any benefit to anyone...since it can't be proven...it's not like it's gonna be a Jeopardy type question the next anal probing interplanetary travelers pose to their prospects prior to pokin' them in the posterior...it isn't gonna win you a Nobel Prize in the field of science or weight measurements...there are too many things we don't yet understand about the galaxy we live in...like why does our planet make a revolution every 24 hours and yet our moon doesn't?  Why do planets move and moons stay static???  Why does out planet tilt on it's axis to allow certain portions to move closer to or further from the sun???  Why do other planets orbit the Sun in elliptical patterns as opposed to circular patterns...how do these planets affect life here...they all have different gravitational pulls...when the moon is closer the waves we see on the beaches get larger...seems to reason that these exterior elements would have a direct impact on the overall weight associated with out planet...if you ever doubted me before...this little tidbit should firmly cement this idea in your head...STOP wasting money on an education that is only going to allow you to make ASSUMPTIONS...I wanna know how you plan on curing cancer...or how you're gonna manufacture more jobs for people so that the unemployment rate falls below 1.0%...or how the hell you're gonna get us all off this rock when it finally pisses out it's last Natural Resource and become unable to sustain human life...I couldn't care less how much this planet weighs...it wasn't placed here for us to argue over how many tons it might weigh...it was put here as a pit stop...we weren't meant to live here FOREVER...we were meant to use our time here to find a new place to live...a planet in another galaxy or universe that will sustain the majority of us...NOT all of us...because some of the radical retards we have among us will NOT be invited to make the next trip...they will be left here as a reminder of what we don't want in our societies or civilizations...I know it's a hard concept to grasp...but life as we know it...didn't start out here on this planet...it didn't spring up in some long ago lost garden...and take off like wild fire from there...the Bible tells us that Eve was made from the rib of Adam...and that they had 2 sons...Cain and Abel...you know the story...do the math...3 men...all from the same genetic pool so to speak...and one woman...there was either incest...or there were already other people...Imma go with there being other people...since I don't see most of you at my Family Reunions...this same book would have you believe that Noah was commanded to build an Ark...with which he would save straight animals...and his own family...which if is the case...we would have doubled our incestual efforts twice before even getting out of the Old Testament...I doubt there would be many of us NOT wearing bibs...scientifically speaking...just those 2 pieces of information point at the presence of other human life forms on this planet...the people of the Bible were from primitive cultures...they wouldn't have had the medical technology or understanding to deal with a child born from incest...the problems would have been to overwhelming and the life cycle would have been broken long ago...according to those two stories...we shouldn't even be here...but we are...because as intelligent beings we understand that it isn't the weight of the planet that is important...it's finding our way off of it that needs to be addressed...the only time I need to know how much something weighs is if I am going to be even remotely involved with moving it...or sleeping with it...in which case I have a fool proof system to keep me from waking up next to the Gerta and all 7 of her chins...after a bad night at the bar...if she walks through the door and all the loose items in the room begin to exhibit orbital patterns of their own...I'm outta there...I don't need a scientist to shoot me an estimate about the relative weight of the central object...the tramp stamp that has been distorted through 10 years of Taco Bell and Take-out...is also another good indicator that you are about to enter the gravitational pull of a 2 ton Tessie...and here's the beauty of it all...my high school education made it possible for me to dispute this college educated idiots theory on planetary plumpness...people...QUIT sending your ill equipped kids to college...I'm providing useful information here for FREE...but that doesn't mean I won't take those $50,000.00 donations and put them to better use...have a Maniacal Monday folks!!!