Hypnotism is banned in public schools in San Diego...
Ummm...show of hands real quick...how many of you had hypnotism as an elective during your formative years in public schools??? Anyone??? Me neither...as a matter of fact my career counselor never even mentioned hypnotism as a career option...I can't even recall EVER seeing a job posting for a hypnotist in the local employment opportunities section of the paper...much like our friends the 'paranormal experts'... this career field is occupied by individuals more adept at parlor tricks that anything factual... hypnosis only works if you want it to...it's mind manipulation...and believe it or not it is carried out on a daily basis...just ask some of your Fox News watching friends...they've been mind fucked into believing that anything spit forth by that channel is akin to verses from the long lost 'Gospels of Government'...and therefore must NOT be disputable...and without a single question...without so much as a tickle across the membrane of memory...they dive into this information like a fat kid @ a bakery after 5 days of fasting...it's these people who make me long for the days of lost Amazonian tribes and their headshrinking capabilities...I mean hell if you're only gonna use 2% out of the 20% of brain matter Einstein postulated humans currently use in a lifetime...well then perhaps your cranium should fit in a cup from your 3 year old granddaughters Tea Party Playset...now I know there are those of you who believe hypnosis actually works...you may know somebody who has tried it...might even have dabbled in it yourself a time or two...I, however have living...indisputable proof...that hypnosis as it is commonly accepted...on an individual basis...is nothing more than a well disguised sham...would you like to read...or hear...about it??? I thought you might...take a peek @ the right side of your monitor...notice the little box with quotes from Dubya...good now take a second to read one of those...any questions??? If hypnosis truly worked on the individual scale don't you think that somebody in old Big Ears/Little Brain's cabinet would have secretly hired one...if for no other reason than to keep him from being the biggest punchline in modern day government history...hell that backwards assed babbling buffoon probably couldn't even spell hypnosis or use it in a sentence that made a damn bit of sense...I mean can you see little George being interviewed at a hospital...preparing to be admitted..."Mr. President...I understand you're being admitted for tests and possibly even surgery...could you shed some light on the subject for the American people?"..."Uhhh...yeah...gimme a second...see I been havin difficultifications walkin and the doctors say it might be pelvic related...my hyp-nos-is is gonna be a painful process...we might even hafta spearment with nucular medicine"...now with that being said...I do believe hypnosis is a viable asset when used subliminally...whatever do you mean Kevin...take a look around you...you have fallen for it almost every single day of your adult life...most notably when you are in the process of shopping...all those signs you see @ Wal Mart for instance...signs that advertise LOW LOW prices...or items on clearance...items you didn't intentionally go to the store to purchase end up in your cart...they make it thru checkout...and into the bag you leave the store with...it isn't until after you get home you stop and think about it...if at all...and come to the realization you have no use for said item...and now you hafta make space for this damn thing in an already overcrowded cupboard or cabinet...and here's the real kick in the teeth...before you can use the item you hafta go back out and buy other shit to use it with...now they may not be dangling a pocketwatch and spouting off the whole...you're eyes are getting heavy...you're growing more and more tired...mantra...but they definitely triggered your mind to act in accordance with their wishes...which in fact is the very definition of hypnosis...the ability to manipulate the mind of another to achieve a desired outcome...hell there are even people who believe in animal hypnosis...which is scarier yet...can you imagine...especially given it's hunting season...seeing millions of orange robed idiots stomping thru the woods hanging pocket watches over their bait piles...hell you wouldn't even need a gun...you could just 'wish' the herd of deer to your buck pole and have them hang themselves...I wish hypnosis was more than just another phenomenon...that it actually worked...none of you would need Bill Gates and his NEVER ending disastrous Windows upgrades...you'd be viewing this thru Kevin's Collective Conscience...I'd have everyone runnin around half naked...wearing peanut butter filled diapers...rainbow colored mohawk hairdo's...ear mounted drool cups...handcuffed to one another...Why? you might ask...it's simple really...1) I have a warped sense of humor...and 2) it would shed some light on your problem solving skills thereby allowing me the opportunity to determine who among you is worth saving...LOL!!!
Monday, November 21, 2011
11/21/11
Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip correctly...
I can't think of one single reason anybody should find this amazing...given the plethora of misinformation we have encountered in our daily journeys thru these tidbits it has become apparent 40% of American adults are Olympic Gold Medal contenders in the shallow end of the gene pool...and the next generation is going to be even worse...take a look around...I'll guarantee you over 50% of graduating seniors...nationwide...of the male persuasion...can't even fill out a damn pair of pants correctly... underwear covered asscracks gleaming in every class...these wannabe gangsta...hoodrats are only gonna be good at one thing...filling out unemployment forms...you know in my day and age our main concern was...are my pants long enough...we lived in fear of being ridiculed at school for coming dressed for a flood...whaddaya call this little fashion statement..."Low Flow-ers"...it's no wonder they have trouble filling out a simple deposit slip...it's in English...instead of texting abbreviations...how hard can it be...Name...account number...date...dollar amount of what you would like to leave the bank without having in your pocket...I mean hell you'd hafta be some sorta mental equivalent to pocket lint to get that wrong... in all honesty I blame this on the advancement of technology...and the piss poor education system that has swept across America...here's just one example...it took place about 14 years ago...my son Matthew was 4 at the time...he came home from his B4 class after having taken a field trip to the library...he was ecstatic about being able to bring home books...we sat down with one of his selections...I believe it was a Winnie the Pooh title...to my absolute amazement and astonishment he opened the book and began 'reading' it...word for word...I was completely speechless...Here was my 4 year old son who had barely begun preschool not missing a single word...I asked him how he knew how to read...they taught us today in school was his reply...so I put it to the test...writing a few sentences down on a piece of paper...needless to say Matthew was unable to decipher anything I had written...even words he had just previously read aloud in the book...when I asked him why he didn't know the words he said...because you haven't read them to me yet...he hadn't been taught to read...he had been taught to memorize the story in accordance with the pages...it should go without saying that I had a rather pleasant conversation with his preschool teacher about her current teaching methods...in hindsight most likely a 40 percenter herself...it continued right thru highschool...they no longer teach kids how to use their grey matter to figure out problems...what they teach is how to use any and every advantage available in order to complete the task at hand in the shortest amount of time...it's a damn disaster...teachers in my opinion are no different than politicians...they want more money every year and less workload...these kids graduate today with book smarts and computer literacy...but without a single solitary cell of common sense or street smarts...book smart/street stupid was the term we used to use...they haven't a hope in hell of functioning outside of their chosen career field...so what's that tell ya??? Any idea??? It says that right now...in America...60% of the population went to school prior to the Information Age...Old Skewl...if you will...40% of their offspring have obtained a highschool diploma thru the miracle of modern technology...the ability to use graphing calculators to compute the correct answers for them on EXAMS...what are they being tested on??? Clues??? Hints??? Nobody...okay I'll tell ya...they're NOT being tested on whether or not they KNOW the material...they're being tested on whether or not they can manipulate the correct buttons on a calculator in order to produce the answer for them...and why is this happening??? Because technology is advancing at such a rapid pace that the human mind is no longer required to formulate ideas...thoughts...or opinions...for it's owner...it has become necessary for the mind to memorize keystrokes according to what they want to accomplish...and that ratio...60/40 %...is rapidly heading in the other direction...the kids of today are being trained for jobs that don't even exist yet...kinda makes ya wanna drop your pants to your thighs...hike up your skivvies to cover your ass...and act as clueless as a hummingbird @ a bear bait pile when it comes to filling out those pesky bank deposit slip thingamajigs...don't it??? Take heed...you and I...altho possibly from different generations...are being phased out...the only people NOT getting paid... are the ones working...Work Smarter/Not Harder has become the war cry of our children...and they hold the future...can you imagine what our grandkids...our great grandkids are going to live like??? Hell by then paper money will actually be a collectors item...if they don't enact a law forbidding ownership of it...because it will no longer be used...think I'm kidding??? Show of hands...how many of you have a bank account??? Okay...now...keep your hand up if you also have direct deposit from your employer...and now only those who have a debit card that has visible wear on the magnetic stripe...keep their hands up... WOW...looks like more than 40% of you...so where exactly is all that paper money being kept??? It isn't...it too is being phased out...slowly but surely...kinda scary when ya think about...60% of us know how to properly fill out a bank deposit slip...yet have no use for it...the other 40% haven't a clue as to how to fill it out...probably because you can't do it with a keyboard yet...and @ the same time they've no idea their paper money is about to be exchanged for a piece of plastic they can then use to pay for almost everything...hell my child suport gets directly deposited into an account somewhere and I was issued a debit card for it without ever filling out a single piece of paperwork...I predict that within the next 20-30 years credit cards/debit cards will also be obsolete...people will pay for things thru fingerprint analysis...eliminating credit card fraud...while at the same time creating some of the highest prices ever on the black market...I clock in @ work using a 6 digit pin number I created...probably a good thing it wasn't over 7 I mighta had to write it down...and my fingerprint...be a real bitch I ever lost that little fella in some weird digital decapitation accident...what would I do then??? Probably hafta resort to thumpin a mushroom stamp on the old time clock just to punch in and out...LOL...seriously tho folks...don't let the numbers scare ya...it's all for the betterment of mankind...according to your government!!! Have a Great Day!!! BTW...the numbers have been updated...just in the short time it took you to read this the ratio is now 41/59%...did you feel the shift???
I can't think of one single reason anybody should find this amazing...given the plethora of misinformation we have encountered in our daily journeys thru these tidbits it has become apparent 40% of American adults are Olympic Gold Medal contenders in the shallow end of the gene pool...and the next generation is going to be even worse...take a look around...I'll guarantee you over 50% of graduating seniors...nationwide...of the male persuasion...can't even fill out a damn pair of pants correctly... underwear covered asscracks gleaming in every class...these wannabe gangsta...hoodrats are only gonna be good at one thing...filling out unemployment forms...you know in my day and age our main concern was...are my pants long enough...we lived in fear of being ridiculed at school for coming dressed for a flood...whaddaya call this little fashion statement..."Low Flow-ers"...it's no wonder they have trouble filling out a simple deposit slip...it's in English...instead of texting abbreviations...how hard can it be...Name...account number...date...dollar amount of what you would like to leave the bank without having in your pocket...I mean hell you'd hafta be some sorta mental equivalent to pocket lint to get that wrong... in all honesty I blame this on the advancement of technology...and the piss poor education system that has swept across America...here's just one example...it took place about 14 years ago...my son Matthew was 4 at the time...he came home from his B4 class after having taken a field trip to the library...he was ecstatic about being able to bring home books...we sat down with one of his selections...I believe it was a Winnie the Pooh title...to my absolute amazement and astonishment he opened the book and began 'reading' it...word for word...I was completely speechless...Here was my 4 year old son who had barely begun preschool not missing a single word...I asked him how he knew how to read...they taught us today in school was his reply...so I put it to the test...writing a few sentences down on a piece of paper...needless to say Matthew was unable to decipher anything I had written...even words he had just previously read aloud in the book...when I asked him why he didn't know the words he said...because you haven't read them to me yet...he hadn't been taught to read...he had been taught to memorize the story in accordance with the pages...it should go without saying that I had a rather pleasant conversation with his preschool teacher about her current teaching methods...in hindsight most likely a 40 percenter herself...it continued right thru highschool...they no longer teach kids how to use their grey matter to figure out problems...what they teach is how to use any and every advantage available in order to complete the task at hand in the shortest amount of time...it's a damn disaster...teachers in my opinion are no different than politicians...they want more money every year and less workload...these kids graduate today with book smarts and computer literacy...but without a single solitary cell of common sense or street smarts...book smart/street stupid was the term we used to use...they haven't a hope in hell of functioning outside of their chosen career field...so what's that tell ya??? Any idea??? It says that right now...in America...60% of the population went to school prior to the Information Age...Old Skewl...if you will...40% of their offspring have obtained a highschool diploma thru the miracle of modern technology...the ability to use graphing calculators to compute the correct answers for them on EXAMS...what are they being tested on??? Clues??? Hints??? Nobody...okay I'll tell ya...they're NOT being tested on whether or not they KNOW the material...they're being tested on whether or not they can manipulate the correct buttons on a calculator in order to produce the answer for them...and why is this happening??? Because technology is advancing at such a rapid pace that the human mind is no longer required to formulate ideas...thoughts...or opinions...for it's owner...it has become necessary for the mind to memorize keystrokes according to what they want to accomplish...and that ratio...60/40 %...is rapidly heading in the other direction...the kids of today are being trained for jobs that don't even exist yet...kinda makes ya wanna drop your pants to your thighs...hike up your skivvies to cover your ass...and act as clueless as a hummingbird @ a bear bait pile when it comes to filling out those pesky bank deposit slip thingamajigs...don't it??? Take heed...you and I...altho possibly from different generations...are being phased out...the only people NOT getting paid... are the ones working...Work Smarter/Not Harder has become the war cry of our children...and they hold the future...can you imagine what our grandkids...our great grandkids are going to live like??? Hell by then paper money will actually be a collectors item...if they don't enact a law forbidding ownership of it...because it will no longer be used...think I'm kidding??? Show of hands...how many of you have a bank account??? Okay...now...keep your hand up if you also have direct deposit from your employer...and now only those who have a debit card that has visible wear on the magnetic stripe...keep their hands up... WOW...looks like more than 40% of you...so where exactly is all that paper money being kept??? It isn't...it too is being phased out...slowly but surely...kinda scary when ya think about...60% of us know how to properly fill out a bank deposit slip...yet have no use for it...the other 40% haven't a clue as to how to fill it out...probably because you can't do it with a keyboard yet...and @ the same time they've no idea their paper money is about to be exchanged for a piece of plastic they can then use to pay for almost everything...hell my child suport gets directly deposited into an account somewhere and I was issued a debit card for it without ever filling out a single piece of paperwork...I predict that within the next 20-30 years credit cards/debit cards will also be obsolete...people will pay for things thru fingerprint analysis...eliminating credit card fraud...while at the same time creating some of the highest prices ever on the black market...I clock in @ work using a 6 digit pin number I created...probably a good thing it wasn't over 7 I mighta had to write it down...and my fingerprint...be a real bitch I ever lost that little fella in some weird digital decapitation accident...what would I do then??? Probably hafta resort to thumpin a mushroom stamp on the old time clock just to punch in and out...LOL...seriously tho folks...don't let the numbers scare ya...it's all for the betterment of mankind...according to your government!!! Have a Great Day!!! BTW...the numbers have been updated...just in the short time it took you to read this the ratio is now 41/59%...did you feel the shift???
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