Oh the absolute genius this humangatan embodies...that's right...ya heard the term here first...humangatans and humanzees...individuals that have the outwardly appearance and aesthetic appeal of an actual human...with the common sense and thinking capacity of a member of the ape family...these are the seriously stupid among us...they have the cranial capacity to contain a crushed peanut shell...it really does NOT matter that there are NO turkeys in Turkey...ya know why??? because they do NOT celebrate Thanksgiving in the desert...primarily because there is NOTHING to be thankful for when choosing to reside in the dirt capital of the planet...guess what there you little liege of lexicon...there aren't any lambs grazing on Lambeau Field...just as there aren't any Roman Rulers in a Caesar Salad...ya ignorant anal vapor connoisseur...STOP sticking your head down there...itsa tail wind you could do without...you're well on your way to f**ktardom...where you will undoubtedly be given a seat at the highest table of terrible tidbit providers...holy crap...tell me something I can't figure out by sticking a wet finger in a light socket and flippin a switch...I mean seriously...to whom is this information important...the Turkish sure don't give a shit...they're busy roundin' up camels and Kurds...it sure as hell doesn't matter to most of us...because we have NO desire to go diggin around in a patch of dirt lookin for a flightless bird to feast on...ya know what they do have in Turkey...an absence of taste...in food...women...wine and song...the majority of these people are only pretty on the inside...which is why we don't let them hold significant jobs when they flock to the United States...we reserve the roll of ill equipped cab driver for these denizens of the dirt...why...because most Americans detest riding in a cab to begin with...if we allow beautiful people to operate them there wouldn't be any available for those that really NEED them...by keeping these ugly Uralians behind the wheels of these mass transit vehicles we ensure the continued completion of necessary transportation efforts in major metropolitan cities...I swear sometimes...the things these mental equivalents of a wet fart come up with...the complexities encompassed by these constituents that carry their colostomy bags in their cranial capacitors confounds me to this day...you would think a nice game of DUCK...DUCK...GOOSE would keep them occupied and outta harm's way...yet as we can see...the absence of Ducks or Geese...as it applies to this humanzee and his peer group...would be a very confusing and stressful ordeal...I can see these people standing in front of a liquor display...staring at a bottle of Cold Duck or Grey Goose...wondering where in the hell the animal was...and why the liquor is name after an object it has NEVER contained...these people order a hamburger and refuse to eat it because it doesn't have any HAM in it...damn idiots anyway...they are better left walking around wondering why there are NO MOONS in a MOON PIE...it keeps them from discovering they can procreate and repopulate the planet with people DUMBER than they are...which in a by proxy sort of way...walks hand in hand with my theory of removing them from the face of the Earth...or at least shoving them all in the same barrel and pushing it into the deepest sections of the surrounding seas of stupidity...I'll tell ya what folks...if you see a humangatan in the immediate vicinity...keep an eye out for any humanzees they may have as offspring...this is a signal that they are beginning to get brighter than the 10 watt light bulb they've been standing under...and while there may NOT be a season for shooting stupid people as a sport...take it upon yourself to castrate them on sight...help protect the rest of us from possible primate copulation encounters...if you embody the humangatan experience...ask NOT what your humanzee can do for you...ask what you can do to hide your humanzee...cuz if you let them out in public...they will make comments that allow the rest of us to identify and humiliate them...it's one of the things I do best!!!
