03/20/12

China is producing a tea blend from Panda poop, which is rich in fiber and nutrients and creates a unique aroma...

Let's have it with our hairy sheep ball pie!!!

Rich in fiber...would that be bamboo fiber...creates a unique aroma...undoubtedly...fecal matter often emits a rather unpleasant...pungent...unique aroma...ya know why China is the only one producing this blend of nutrient rich Panda poo tea blend...piss poor eyesight...that's why...and let's NOT forget their penchant for hog's hair toothbrushes...add a little Panda poo tea...and you've gotta gullet full of something that smells like hot garbage and shitty diapers...I'm quite sure  the after taste will be quite enticing...considering the green teeth and stinky gum sockets these people already possess...who in their right mind would buy this shit...I mean literally...Momma sent me the article that she derived this tidbit from...the dumbass who came up with this idea...honestly thinks that this new blended beverage of bear shit is gonna make him an instant millionaire...and overnight sensation...NOT only is this the shittiest idea I've heard yet...but this stuff is supposed to sell for somewhere in the neighborhood of $36,000.00 a pound...HOLD UP...WAIT A MINUTE...did Kevin just say $36,000.00 a pound...yes he did...but have NO fear...it is also going to be sold by the cup...at the low, low price of $200.00...that's right folks...before long you'll be able to pop into your local Starbucks and order a Grande Double Panda Poop Lowfat with Cream...un-f**kin' believeable...I'm NOT quite sure where this bear shit barista studied economics...or if he ever took a math class to begin with...but here's the thing...99% of the automobile owning population are struggling to pay $4.00 a GALLON for gas...I don't see them shelling out $36,000.00 for a pound of ground up dried dung...the genius who came up with this idea pulls NO punches...he justifies the value he has placed on Panda Poo Tea...by claiming it will be the rarest blend in the entire world...HEY...look everybody...it's the herbal ignorant prodigy of defecating delicacies...Sum Ting Wong...Honolable Mastah Wong...can you prease terr dese plepol why Panda Poo tea is lalest in de entile...wol...wol...oh f**k it...pranet???  Because you DON'T make tea outta of SHIT...it's gonna smell like SHIT...it's gonna taste like SHIT...and if you buy this SHIT...even @ the relatively low price of $200.00 a cup...you're dumber than SHIT...and you deserve a big steaming cup of caca...this guy actually envisions setting a Guiness World Record with his first sale...Well NO shit... even if it's a single grain for $5.00 it'll be a record DIPSHIT...because NOBODY has ever...in the history of humanity...paid to drink POOP before...lemme tell ya what's gonna happen there ree ree... the second you set a record selling Panda Poo tea...I'm gonna set out to one up your ass...by concocting an even rarer rectally regurgitated blend of beverage...Kevin's Cricket Ass Coffee...you think Panda Poop is rare...Crickets are a seasonal insect SHIT for brains...so SIP on that sideways...seriously...I'll smack the ever-lovin' SHIT outta any one of you who have a penchant for making such a purchase...in the Grand Pantheon of things you shouldn't piss away money on...earned or inherited...Panda Poo tea has got to be at the top of the list...hell...it doesn't even belong on a list...it is a Stand-alone item... unless of course this Tea-turdler intends on delivering a low-fat version for those who find Panda Poo too filling...maybe a Diet Dingo Diarrhea blend sold strictly in Australia...to blind Aborigines who've lopped off their tongues...this is an incredibly ridiculous business venture...I can't imagine why anyone would even wanna get close enough to bask in the aroma...it's SHIT people...you don't take up residence in the family Throne Room...plop your ass on the porcelain...do your duty...stand up...turn around...look down and think to yourself...'Hmmm...I wonder what that would taste like if I ran it thru a blender...left it out to dry...then added hot water to it and drank it'...at least I pray you don't...if by chance you do...please...STOP reading my blog...you haven't a hope in hell of understanding that simple thing...Common Sense...I mean NOT even if my children's lives depended on it...DON'T get me wrong...I love my children dearly...but there comes a point where ya hafta draw the line...and apparently drinking...dry...ground up animal dung is that point for me...if you'd like a preview of what this godawful crap is gonna taste like...shove your finger up your ass and fart...then lick that finger with your tongue...because here it is in a nutshell...SHIT...is SHIT...it doesn't matter how well you dress it up...PANDA POOP AIN'T PRETTY!!!