04/13/12

There are an odd number of steps in every staircase in Thailand...

Here's a very interesting aspect that the original author failed to include in this catastrophic commentary regarding staircases in Thailand...it isn't a local superstition...it has no importance in Thai society...and as a matter of fact is more of an International tradition among craftsmen than anything else.  Count the steps in any staircase you come across...and guess what...9 times out of 10...the sum will total an odd number... which means one of two things people...either damn near everybody that has ever bulit an inclined stepping device utilized to gain access to locations above or below them...adheres to the same time honored tradition that has been handed down thru the centuries...or the people of Thailand build every damn staircase in the world...I'll let you decide...now most of you may not be familiar with the construction process of new homes...and therefore haven't a clue as to what ethnicity the people that built your staircase come from...I have personally spent countless hours in several fields within the construction industry...and lemme assure you there are very few Thai stair builders working here in America...and I would hafta venture a guess it's the same situation in every other country except...Thailand...this leads me to believe that craftsmen here in the states were informed of this design decision thru other methods...like learning them from the non Thai mentor that hired them...go to the nearest stairwell and count the steps in a flight of stairs...was it odd...or even...or are you having trouble deciding which area is compatible or categorized as a step...here lemme help you...those smaller things that continue to incline or decline at equidistant intervals...those are steps...the bigger platforms that are used for turning to take another flight or as entranceways and exits for a specific floor are called landings...landings are only counted once...so do not count the landing you are standing on to perform the mind boggling math problem if you count the one at the top or bottom of the flight...counting both landings only serves to confuse the countee further...and people...although it is Friday and I would love NOTHING more than to spend the entire day finger sliding different colored beads across an antiquated abicus...I have other things that are more pressing...like locating or constructing the world's first even numbered stairwell...do ya know when stairs play an important part of my life and require counting???   When the asshole that built the damn building didn't have the foresight or financial means to incorporate elevators or escalators...aside from that they are insignificant...sadly there are probably several things I will NEVER see...up close and personally...because of this very reason...stair climbing falls just behind and slightly to the left of running...on the list of activities I attempt to avoid at all costs...I am NEVER late enough...NOR in a big enough hurry to get somewhere...that I feel the urge or necessity to run...the same can be said for stairs...there are other idiots that will ascend them as high as they go...if these morons have the capacity and capability to use one or more of their arms and hands...they can take pictures and I will be more than happy to view them upon their descent...I don't even like the fact that my house has a small set of stairs at the front and rear...it's a pain in the ass of epic proportions...the last thing I wanna do is hafta carry shit up or down stairs...although I must say...if given the option I would rather be headed in a steady downward angle...it is much easier to catch the weight of your body on each descending step than it is to lift your entire body weight up to the next level...NOW don't spend the rest of the day counting steps on stairs...you're sure to make a mistake along the way and stumble on another important fact associated with staircase step counting...there are far too many of them to matter...and here's something you blonde readers are going to want to pay extra special attention to...if the stairwell includes several flights of stairs...and they are all included in the same building...chances are they all have the same amount of steps...you can quit counting them by the 5th floor...hey it's NOT my fault they require special instructions...they're BLONDE...have a great weekend...and when you leave the building this afternoon...if you are fortunate enough to come across some dumbass counting steps...slap them on the back and start shouting out random digits on your way down to the exit...4...8...54...12...3...7...if NOTHING else you will confuse them long enough to get a head start on your weekend...if they are still there on Monday buy them some hair dye...the roots are starting to show thru!!!