I knew it...I've been sayin' it all along...our money isn't worth a damn thing...it isn't backed by gold...obviously since there isn't even enough of it to stamp a ridiculous medal out of...I know...I know...some of you think the Olympics aren't ridiculous and that they showcase some of the best talent the world has to offer...BULLSHIT...it's a platform for failure...Oh...I'm ruthless am I??? Heartless, you say??? Quick, somebody tell me what Mary Lou Retton is doing...or how about Eric Heiden...NOBODY...that's because the launching board of the Olympics is directly positioned over the shallow end of the swimming pool...it doesn't matter how many medals you win...or what records you break...eventually...without steroids...the Olympic records will be established and remain unbroken because there are only so many seconds you can shave off running a mile...or swimming a lap...and the playing field will be leveled once and for all...NOBODY knows what previous Olympic Champions are doing because there aren't very many venues for professional speed skaters...unless they can handle a puck...and shot putters and javelin tossers are useless unless we abolish all forms of modern day weaponry...swimmers...we don't need them either...for the most part we aren't the ones trying to illegally cross borders...and they're seldom educated enough to find gainful employment...ya know what they end up doin'??? Third tier speaking engagements and appearances...which I guess is a form of making a living...if you enjoying being the center of attention for people who chose piss poor career paths themselves...I think they should abolish the Olympics until it actually means something...like let's say we cross breed a few sporting programs and then use them to settle International disputes...we could combine hockey, rugby and lacrosse with that dumbass cross country rifle shooting crap...and let the best man win...single elimination games...winner take all...then there would be a reason to be interested in them...ya know who benefits from a gold medal victory...professional basketball and hockey players...it looks good on their resume'...especially if they have a few Stanley Cups or Larry O'Briens to go along with it...otherwise they can't even be pawned for any significant value...I'd just as soon have a tinfoil necktie...at least I could use it to wrap fish in before putting it on the grill...what can ya do with a silver gold medal...NOT much...melt it down and mint a few nickles...I really don't care for the Olympics...there a nuisance and they always interrupt the schedule of a significant sports program...where people actually make money...and for what...you can't even enjoy the events you wanna see live...unless you're up at the asscrack of dawn cuz the idiots in charge of schedulin' the events think that more of us wanna see figure skating...and floor gymnastics...I wanna see the highlights of the crashes and spills sure...can the rest of that shit and make a Hollywood movie out of it...nah we get to watch downhill slalom skiing...caught on film by still cameras...apparently they haven't heard of technology at the IOC...how about some helmet cams...I wanna get medicated and duck when the slalom gates come crashing thru the camera into my living room...I wanna see impact footage when somebody catches to much air and lands in the wrong area...spilling into the catch fence before tumbling down a French Alp into a crevice...I mean seriously...add some better camera equipment and maybe throw in a few hidden traps here and there...like when they do the ski-jumping shit...use a slingshot delivery system for the skier...send that little son-of-a-bitch for the ride of his life...you wanna fly with ski's strapped to your feet...juice it up a little bit...hold the next ones in Canada...they have a UFO launch pad they're NOT using...come on...let's make use of technology...let's put sharks on a leash in the swimming pools...that oughtta get the blood flowing naturally...break a few records that old dope smoker Phelps established...and let's have some real contact sports like FMJ...(Full Metal Jousting)...if any of you have ever been to one of the Renaissance festival, and I know Momma has...and watched the fake jousting they put on...you'll love the real thing...it's on the History Channel I think...and it can get pretty intense...now that's a winner take all sport...worthy of an actual gold Gold medal...NOBODY cares if you can do a triple-axle...salchow...backwards flip combination with a horizontal aerial twist...BUT you see somebody get unhorsed while riding at full steam...at the end of a lance...there's gonna be some grog flyin' in those stands...might even be a few people that get froggy...you need good solid spectator sports...who cares if you can swim a mile in record setting speed...can you cross shark infested waters??? Can you swim north along the eastern seaboard against the Gulf current??? I mean do something to impress me...this same old shit...every couple of years...BORING...you're NOT facing the best athletes around the World on a consistent basis...it's a one time ordeal...liven it up a little bit...and I think they should make every country play Australian Rules Football...(don't ask...I haven't figured out what f**kin' rules they're talkin' about either)...it's brutal enough tho...they don't even call an official time out if somebody gets knocked unconscious...his buddies hafta run out and literally drag him off the field in the middle of play before somebody can substitute for him...which as far as I can tell is the only rule they follow...OH...and know visible weapons...I think I've seen a few brass knuckles or forearm I-beams here and there...those poor bastards lose more teeth than an arena full of southern hockey fans...now that would be worth watching...it's almost like organized cage fighting...without the cage...we need to put shit like that in the Olympics...these old Greco-Roman...boy huggin' boy in a very unfavorable position has got to go...it was great during it's time and it might provide some very useful tactics for fighting...I've been on the wrong side of someone who knows how to wrestle...but it needs to have something added to it...there needs to be something to keep you interested...like Lions chained at the edge of the circle...and then give out significant rewards for performance and achievement...if ya can't afford pure gold for the medal then don't sugarcoat it...what does a silver Silver medal contain 100% Silver??? If it does then GOLD is the first loser!!!
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