That's right folks you heard it here first...the global force for good navy producing United States of America has never lost a war in which mules were used...and that's because we don't use mules...as a general rule they are easier to dodge then big nasty flesh tearing bullets...and being the gluttons of excess that we are in this country...we have to win at all costs...we haven't lost a war yet in which camels were the primary source of transportation for the towel heads either...but hey who's counting...the only problem we seem to have is in invading tiny little jungle covered rice paddy populations...where they took...run to the hills...to a whole new meaning...f**kin' mules...seriously...there has only been one famous MULE in the history of American warfare...and that dumb bastahd is only famous for getting in the way of one General George S. Patton...so before ya go pickin a short fight with a long armed man...ya might wanna make sure you're not mounting up on burro's...we have no tolerance for coffee bean battalions of Colombians stomping at our door...ya hafta move up the ladder a bit...relocate to Mexico...lose the mule...grab a sombrero and head on across the border...why do they bother putting patrols along there...or even making people show their papers to come across...who really gives a shit anymore...it's a byproduct of Bumblin' Bills half erect NAFTA plan...I think that idiot blew half his load on her dress before he signed that into law...whadda dumbass...we ship all of jobs to Mexico for cheap labor and they send all of their cheap laborers to us...to fill the jobs we no longer have...what a great exchange program...World Power trips on lip...sends all American jobs to foreign countries...in an apparent attempt to separate itself from other industrialized nations that actually try to keep and maintain their best careers for their countrymen...shipping finished products to other international communities in a blatant attempt to maximize profit potential...give it a few more years and there won't be one single thing stamped...Made in America...hell half the flags that people fl on their front porch in support of our troops...who by the way are winning another war in which we haven't used mules...at least not to m knowledge...are made in China...land of ten million seamstresses...the point being...we aren't losing any of the physical...blood and guts...my dick is bigger than yours battles...like in Afghanistan...and that's just awesome...because we all know what a lack of sand we have here in the states...what we are losing is each and every battle being waged on the technological front...we are getting our asses kicked by a buncha people we dropped bombs on...hell we can't even show up at the CES (consumer's Electronic Show) with a product made by an American owned and operated company...oh sure they are there...with their litle cubicles set up...displaying all the latest advancements in technology that their company has to offer...not one of which they have manufactured themselves. who gives a shit if you can beat the snot outta a buncha morons on mules...they obviously haven't attained the knowledge of a civilized nation...why are ya screwin' with them...the only people dumb enough to use mules in warfare are our cousins south of the border...and they apparently don't use them either...traveling on foot thru underground tunnels being what it is...if you popped up on our side riding a burro...we would hafta deport ya on general principle...we're trying to keep the idiot levels in the gene pool at an all time low...show up stupid and we will send ya swimmin' back to your homeleand...or take the mule in exchange for a job at Taco Bell...why is it that Taco bell is the only fast food restaurant that doesn't hire relative ethnic groups...if you go to KFC in a metropolitan area you're likely to see African Americans serving you behind the counter...(STFU...I don't make the rules...I just observe them)...if you go to an Arby's it'll be a white middle class kids handing you your food...McD's...Burger King...Wendy's...primarily lower class white and black kids looking for a break...but if you go to Taco Bell...you NEVER find one Mexican behind the counter...why is that??? I mean that's like going to a Barmitzvah only to find out there aren't any Jews in attendance...WTF??? Sorry...momentary ADD/ADHD/JOOTT episode...oh and JOOTT stands for Just One Of Those Things...but seriously...we're fighting the wars over desert with more firepower than we are the wars on technology...if the one with the biggest toys wins...I hafta say...we're suckin' hind tit and headed for the bottom of the ladder...we better step it up and let the mules go idly by...otherwise we're gonna find ourselves vacating this little section of the planet for places with better job opportunities...there has NOT a war been won or lost...only started and finished...everyone loses something in the heat of battle...one side just comes out of the ordeal with a few extra bodies and the ability to regroup before the other...MULES or NO MULES doesn't matter...warriors do not scan the battlefield for foes on burro's...they search for things worthy of a justifiable death and they execute them with extreme prejudice...and if you happen to be on a battlefield in the future...take my advice...when you see the little white flag go flying...redirect the focus of your firepower to that location...there are no prisoners in war...just dead enemies...stop screwin around and usin my damn tax dollars to feed the fallen soldiers of those you sent my brothers to destroy...ya buncha damn idiots...if you let them surrender...take them in...fee...clothe and shelter them...if nothing else they will fornicate once released and populate their little portion of the planet with more idiots we will hafta go back and kill later...I swear...you people NEVER want to see the day I gain control of a country...this piddly ass politically correct warfare fiasco bullshit would stop...3 days max...in and out of a country with our flag flying over it as a newly claimed property...you piss us off you have a 24 hour window to get the f**k outta dodge...pack your mule and migrate muthaf**kerz cuz every single piece of ordinance we have at our disposal is going to be launched...dropped or torpedoed into your section of the Earth...for 3 straight days...if anything moves after that we send in the troops...(don't gimme the boo-hoo bullshit over the civilian casualties...they were the ones that created these little towel headed bastards in the first place)...they go down to...send a message that we don't give a shit anymore than the terrorists...wanna take our a few thousand of our civilian population...why should we care if half your brother is in Kuwait and the other half is in Kandahar...I don't...maybe I see things differently because I have served with some of these fine individuals in our military...and watching them fight with their hands tied is enough to make me projectile vomit...or maybe it's because I have no regard for the human lives that have no regard for mine...are there going to be casualties involving citizens that were not supportive of the overthrown government or regime...sure there are...it's called War...NOT Disneyland...you wanna fantasy go stick your head in the freezer with Walt!!!
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