Chica, a corn based beer is produced by allowing Amylotytic Enzymes in the human saliva to break down starches into fermentable sugars...
That's just terrific...so what you're tellin' me is that there are those among us that gulp down large quantities of corn flavored loogie lager...mmm...mmm...good...wonder why isn't available here in the United States...Oh I know...because we don't spit our saliva covered corn back into beer bottles...you Dumbass siesta takin f**tards...sweet jesus...what the hell is wrong with you people...ya wanna swap spit take a lesson from the French...at least they perfected the fine art of saliva sampling..and how did corn come into the picture...it isn't like countries that use the term 'CHICA' are famous for their corn and hominy...lettuce and burros maybe but I'd hate ta think what they might do with that...nasty bastahds...I mean come on...who buys this stuff...it comes outta the mouths of toothless tutu-wahines...which is Hawaiian for grandmothers...mountain apple faced, burrito packin', burro ridin' old fuddy duddies...I don't get it...these people perfected TEQUILA from Cactus Juice...and yet the beer comes from corn chompin' mouth mush...what's next...I mean if the warnings about the AGUA south of the border weren't enough...NOW ya gotta worry about what kinda diseased rotten gummed granny had your beer in their mouth first...if that isn't a posterchild for Abstinence IDK WTF is...yeah...maybe I'm gettin' the overall process confused...I guess it is possible for the corn to be kept in a vat while a buncha taco tastin' Troubadors sat around snackin' on salsa and spittin' into the pit...but it really doesn't matter...if I wanted to taste what you had for breakfast, lunch or dinner I'd order it off the damn menu myself...ya silly assed sombrero slingin' liege of the lowrider clan...ya know Swamp Ass is created by allowing the crack of your ass to get overly moist during days when the humidity spikes and personal perspiration plummets to the nether regions of your nasty crack...but ya don't see anyone bottlin' it up as a beer like beverage do ya??? NO...because NOBODY would buy it...I can't imagine what the alcoholic hot mess that wraps their mouths around these bottles looks like...probably scare the fine print off of bathrooms walls if I had to take a wild stab in the dark...which probably wouldn't be a good idea considering the circumstances...a wild stab in the dark might just net ya one of these little hair in curlers hot mama's of the hacienda de la whora...and they can be worse than the clap...damn ass grabbin' cling-ons...can't shake 'em off with a stick even if they are painted up all nice and pretty like a pinata...which is good enough reason for me NOT to plan any vacations in the area immediately below California and beside Texas...I'm tellin' ya...hacked up hominy hooch and five hundred pound Feliciana do NOT make for a nice morning after...NOT that I have any personal experience in the area...just tryin' to look out for a brotha if need be...because that's how we roll...friends don't let friends f**k fat women...regardless of how many can o' corn cocktails they've had...think I'm jokin'...the last thing ya wanna do is go to pick your boy up after a hard night of drinkin' only to see feet and a snorkel stickin' outta old some old sausalito Sasquatch lookin' thing...good lord the scars and emotional trauma can last for years...it's like catchin' your grandparents in the act...ya just wanna puke through your nose when ya see the teeth in glasses...kinda the same thing when ya catch unsober Sam the scuba enthusiast with Crevacious Carlita from Catalin...ya shut your eyes so tight ya can almost feel 'em pop out your ass cavity when ya startin' tossin' tacos through the nasal passages...I'd rather eat habanjeros and wipe my ass with razor blades than to take a chance on Amylotytic Alcohol from Acapulco...I don't care what flavor it is...my personal recommendation...If ya don't wanna end up tossin' tostados into a toilet at Taco Bell...DON'T CHUG THE CHICA!!!
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