The Navy spent $375,000.00 on an "aerodynamic analysis of the self-suspended flare." The study's conclusion was that the Frisbee was not feasible as military hardware...
Yeah...well they should be given a little credit...it pales in comparison to what we as citizens pay individually...and as businesses for piss poor performance from our politicians...the study of which concludes that a idiots and their hard earned money are soon parted...I don't get it...everybody in this country is obsessed with obtaining the ALMIGHTY dollar...five seconds of research will show you what a futile effort this is...it's paper...cloth threads...and ink...WHOOP-D-SHIT...you can print off this page and it will be worth just as much as any single denomination of bill in your possession...the quality of paper and ink will be different...but financially speaking...they are backed by the same thing...NOTHING of value!!! That being said...if this study was conducted while our country was still on the Gold standard...this was a lesson hard learned on the taxpayer's dime...an education if you will on how NOT to blow your budget unwisely...if it was conducted recently...like within the last 5+ decades...it represents some serious flaws...primarily in military intelligence....I shudder to think that the planets biggest pond probing and patrolling platform wasted 375,000 pieces of paper...legal tender or the toilet variety...on a study that consisted of attempting to use a Frisbee to design and develop a self-suspended flare...what was the logic behind that...conventional flare guns gettin a little too risky to have on those big old boats...did they propel flares too high for responding help to see...and the terminology of the "aerodynamic analysis of the self-suspended flare,"...should be enough to make anyone with common sense CRY...self-suspension requires one thing and one thing ONLY... ANTI-GRAVITY equipment...a better term woulda been..."self-propelled"...if they were referring to how a flare could be launched by seamen...and NOT the slow swimming sort that came up with this tidbit...self-suspension alludes to the fact that the object in question is capable of suspending itself without exterior influence...such as a propulsion system...or a soft landing system...such as a parachute...which as the Army proved...oh so long ago...was just as ineffective as the Frisbee when used as hardware for suspending an object that burned as bright and hot as the sun...sure they worked for a few seconds...until the parachute and strings caught flame...NOTHING crashes to Earth quite as quick as a failed invention in free fall...another glaring aspect of this information is the use of the word 'aerodynamic'...there is NOTHING aerodynamic about a FRISBEE...yes they will fly...but if that were all that were required of the aerodynamics industry...we would all find ourselves being launched to our vacation destinations by using a big ol' rubber band...the sort of which Wile E. Coyote used from the Acme Company to try and catch the Roadrunner..."Meep meep indeed!"...as the Geico Gecko is so fond of sayin'...unfortunately for the Navy...aerodynamics include orbital objects that can be ACCURATELY controlled...just because something can be propelled by a human does NOT mean it is aerodynamic...I can throw a rock just as far as a Frisbee...completely different shaped objects...neither of which can be controlled with absolute precision...I know what the dumbasses in school taught you...anything that can fly and has a certain shape is aerodynamic...BULLSHIT...but where oh where will the answers be oh wise one??? Why...in the animal kingdom my friends...where we discover that only one the fortunate few...found in the BIRD family are capable of flight...therefore...according to conventional schoolroom wisdom one could ASS-U-ME...that all other animals of a similar design would also be capable of flight...however...Ostriches and Penguins are just a handful of flightless fowl that have found a way to keep on 'flying' through evolution...it's a damn wonder the Navy had the money to spend on Frisbee flinging forays into failure...one would think that if you were in need of a flare you would want a FLOATING apparatus as opposed to a self-PROPELLED one...seeing as how you DUMBASS is probable lost at SEA...where SURVIVAL requires some form of identifying flare like formula at your PRESENT location...especially in stormy weather at night...firing a flare under these intensely severe weather situations may catch someone's attention and alert them that there is a possible need for assistance...but if seen from a distance...trying to find a person floating in swelling seas without a FLOATING flare solution near them...is gonna be like tryin' to find a mole in a mountain...the level of difficulty will quadruple if the hopeless soul is sittin' there flingin' Frisbees as part of his survival training program...I guess I'm also curious as to which Navy conducted the study...I would hate to think that the safety and security of our shores have been entrusted to the employees of a government military agency capable of such a lack of common sense...I could see where this might be absolutely hilarious and expected from a unit like the Polish Navy...I mean if you build glass bottom boats with working screen doors...I can see where a Frisbee flare flinging program might fit in...otherwise you lack the wherewithal to be an effective member of society...thankfully the militia of the world have a use for cannon fodder like you...and you have found your place without my guidance...I only wish there were more like you...it would make war easier to manage...we could weed out the weak and put the whole...Survival of the fittest theory to the test...leave the inventions and decisions to those that know how to make them...unfortunately...this problem doesn't affect just the Navy...fiscal reports throughout the history of every branch of the military are fraught with information that indicates faulty financial responsibility...all of which is shrugged off with an...Aw Shucks...shoulder shake...I mean seriously...if you can't find a wet fart in a dry ass crack...WTF are you doin' conducting scientific studies with our money!!!
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