Sunday Evening Wrap Up

Tonight...I bring to you things that made me smile today...the Lions of the NFL decided to show up this afternoon and play football the way Detroit area fans are accustomed too...losing to a buncha no-name, wish we had an ex convict, dogfighter for quarterback...thereby taking an oh so necessary step in correcting the NFC Standings...ending the day @ 5-2...all I ask is for the remainder of the season they play like they did today...some teams are just destined to be pitiful FOR E-V-E-R!!!  With any luck the Lions will finish the season 5-11...solidifying my belief that the Mayan calendar isn't some Doomsday clock slowly ticking off the hours...but is in fact an ancient time keeping device closing in on the moment it resets and starts the long count AGAIN!!!  The afternoon game between the Cowboys and Rams also made me smile...that or it was gas from the anxiety caused by waiting for Romo to find a way to lose yet another 'Gimme' game...is it just me or is Mr. Romo the closest scientific example that blackholes DO exist...they should nickname him Tony 'Texas Tornado' Romo...because 9 times outta 10 when he touches down on the gridiron...Total Disaster is imminent...I'm actually surprised that FEMA isn't present @ every game he plays in...don't get me wrong...I'm glad the Cowboys won...undoubtedly...but as even the New England Patriots can attest...there is ultimately only one game...and one win...that matters...and that is the Super Bowl...all games up to that point are insignificant...they are played in order to occupy time slots on National TV that would otherwise be consumed by dull...monotonous...heathenistic programs like the 700 Club...Billy Graham...Oral Roberts!!!  The final game this evening makes me smile too...the New orleans Saints face the Peytonless Colts...which by all account 0-6 presently...0-7 by tomorrow's printing of the Sports Section headlines...this impending defeat will do several things for football...it will enlighten some in the owner/coaching field to maximize their practices...and incorporate unknown players into the mix...nobody...especially the Colts want the Clipboard holding Kid to end up in a starting role before he understands that the shape of a football isn't just Stewie Griffins head...but also the thing you're gonna need to handle in order to make a living in this sport...it'll also have everyone in Indy selling Season tickets on e-bay...CHEAP...so if your favorite team is scheduled to play this buncha Peytonless Puppets this year you might wanna skip the rest of this and sign up for an e-bay acct and start bidding on a set of seats...and last but not least it should make the Lions bandwagon overcrowded...'How?'  You might ask...'the Lions lost today'...Lions fans are used to enduring slight glimmers of Hope...passing fancies of Promise...tidbits of Tossed Away talent...see Barry Sanders (Idk how that guy didn't quit and take up crocheting)  so NONE of their fans will jump off the bus...Detroit jumped out to an early start this season...which means that with an overall record of 5-2...All Lions fans are required to sing the praise of this pathetic Pride of players...@ least until their record falls to 5-4...at which time there will be another mass exodus of part time cheerleaders...and Monday Moanin Quarterbacks...with Indy's 7th consecutive loss however there should be a significant increase in the Lions fan base...it's amazing how that works...but trust me it will...and Indy's entire front office will publicly dent panic in the ranks...as behind the scenes...the players in the locker room will run around cell phones to ears instructing agents to waive the no trade clauses...forfeit contract bonuses...or offer to fuck a fatback, four eyed, flatulent elephant just to get outta Dodge before they end up a footnote in NFL history sharing an 0-16 record with the Lake Huron Hopeless Halfwits other wise known as the DEE Troit Lions...now some of you might think I am biased in my opinion of certain NFL teams and sit there scratching your heads wondering...'Would Kevin's rhetoric be the same had the Lions won today?'  Hell Yes...is the answer...for the most part...and only because I subscribe to the belief of Chaos and Order...one season of starting out 5-0...instilling grandiose support from lifelong fans (sufferers)...showing a peanut shells worth of promise that you are now ready to step up onto the pantheon of Gridiron Greats...does not wash away the absolute abomination of the last 5 decades...I say this in all sincerity...to each and every fan of Detroit area professional sports...do yourselves a favor and start following hockey...@ least the Wings have been collosal in the consistency department for over a decade...that's 10 years for all of you NOT on the above mentioned Mayan long count calendar...10+ straight years of making it to the playoffs...the promised land of all professional sports!!!