Research from the Mayo Clinic has determined there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus. It is the Anal Optic Nerve and is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eyes
If you have enough ass hair, and its long enough for you to pull one you're...A) in need of a professional wax ANALyst to assist with this desperate condition...manscaping fellas, get with the times...B) a European Pole Dancer and altho 'Pigtails from the Poopchute' was a popular nightclub attraction back in the '70's, it's time for a trim...C) the new centerfold in Playmates for Prisoners, a monthly subscription service...last months issue was subtitled 'Hairy assed Houdinis of Hoag Maximum Penitentiary'...D) auditioning for a nude photo shoot for Bigfoot Quarterly, hoping to be spank mag material for Sasquatch's in the Northwest, or Squatches as they're referred to by the idiots who spend countless hours trying to prove they exist, by stompin around woods and forests, hootin, snortin, and hollerin...AT NIGHT...if you're gonna make all that damn noise, shouldn't ya just do it durin the day, at least that way if ya stumble across a deaf one sleepin, it will be entertaining to say the least. And just so we are clear, the rest of the Mayo clinic research says that if you don't pass gas in public, if you don't float an air biscuit when the need arises, all that methane gas backs up inside a body and travels back up the anal optic nerve where it spills over and creates shitty ideas, so, if you find yourself doing alotta stuff alone on the weekends, try bein a little more flatulent at the work place, if ya can't shave or wax it, tryin burnin the hair out, you'll no your successful if ya let one fly and the dog vomits, trust me...until you've cleared an entire room at the Smithsonian you must bow to the Pharoah of flatulence, pass gas and think more clearly! Btw, have you ever noticed that the moment you walk into a spider web you instantly become a ninja...lol
I am a nurse n I can attest 2 the build up of gas that can clear an entire room at the Smithsonian! That gas must have built up for an entire month b/c it sent all the tourists running. N if u were trampled on by the stampede n thought, "Well, at least now I can get a clear view of the Hope Diamond". Think again! That methane gas went from being colorless, 2 as thick and green as pea soup. Perhaps it was just the
ReplyDeleteasphyxiation setting in??
So readers - pls don't ask me 2 explain how I can confirm the "Smithsonian blowout". Rather ask 2
questions of the writer: Mr. Tidbit, please answer 1) How u have come 2 know of the Anal Optic Nerve's
true existence. 2) Was that methane explosion at the Smithsonian the beginning of the ozone layer
degradation?
To answer my reader's first question...How do I know the Anal Optic Nerve truly exists...You as a nurse must have by now encountered @ least one person in your related career fields who has had there head shoved so far up their own ass when they come out for air it is inevitable they accidently yank an ass hair or 2 thereby crying not only from the light but the associated Anal Optic Nerve...as for the 2nd question posed...if methane gas were the answer to degradating the ozone layer, thus enhancing the Global Warming fanatics agenda do you not think I would be eating enough beans to float a kidney shaped air biscuit at the rate of 30abps...thats air biscuits per second...just to ensure the climate in Northern Michigan never dropped below 70...LOL
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