Eucalyptus leaves contain a narcotic...That cute little Koala lives out most of it's life stoned...
Really??? Take away the Eucalyptus Leaves...and being cute...me and them Koalas could be kin...I keed I keed...what was I sayin??? Oh Yeah!!! That Koala wouldn't stand a chance...lol...no but seriously...who woulda thought ...in the Who's Who in Drug Experimentation that the Koala would out trump the likes of Dennis Hopper...Jimi Hendrix...Jim Morrison...Tommy Chong...Charlie Sheen...and Dubya...(holds out one finger...gimme a sec...listens to whisper of inner voice [don't judge me...some people think that inner voice is God...I happen to think it's just me fuckin' with myself...sounds like me anyway] eyes light up as if the light just came on...or the fog dissipated)...Whaddaya mean Dubya wasn't stoned for the better part of both terms??? It retrospect it sure would explain a helluvalot...I'd sleep easier believing we were all massively duped by a cleverly disguised Koala...using mass hypnosis to prey on our societal pulse...by confusing the minions with utterifications that would make the laziest...couldn't give a shit less...English teacher cringe at the very auditory challenge of deciphering these colliquial concoctions into something they can associate with a half assed definition...than to think we as a country elected the poster boy for the Pro Choice Platform...not once but twice...poor damn Koala deserves to be stoned most of it's life...it hasta be confusing to be referred to as a bear...and yet also possess the traits of an herbivorous marsupial...folks I give you the hermaphoditic high on of the animal kingdom...the Koala...now when I first read this I hafta admit I was a bit stumped...why on earth aren't the rest of us gobbling up eucalyptus leaves...or some derivative thereof...odd thing really...it appears the eucalyptus leaves only have this effect on Koalas...it is has also been speculated that this leaf munching marsupial can differentiate between poisonous and non poisonous plant life...which makes one wonder...what else could we learn from our furry little friend of the forest??? Probably nothing...narcotics usually cause humans to drool excessively upon their bibs...oblivious to their surroundings...they wouldn't know poison if they were licking it from a glue trap for mice...Koala-1...Humans-0...Koala recognize poisonous plant life and know how to avoid it...Humans recognize poisonous plant life...and yet they seem to roll around in it til they're so covered with infectionous scabs they hafta hose themselves off in the shower after droppin the kids at the pool...(takin a shit...I could just see some of ya scratching your heads...lol)... Koala-2...Humans-0...Koalas care for their young about 1 year...6 months in the pouch...6 months on the back...Humans care for their young for 18 years...6 to 7 years on the hip...11 to 12 years up the ass...Koalas 3...Humans-0...and they say we are the intelligent species...we could learn a thing or two from the animal kingdom...like once ya get them walkin...put them to work...cut 'em loose on the world...hell most of them could make a better living...up to the age of 7...as paranormal ghost finding experts...most will have illusions of granduer...aspire to become President...attend an esteemed collegiate institution like MSU...fall short of achieving their goals and settle for a life of..."Do you want fries with that?"
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