01/05/12

Smelling Cinammon boosts cognitive function and memory...

Idk how much water this one holds...you'd hafta do a blind smell study to prove it's validity...and since recent commercials for Febreeze indicate you can be armpit deep in sewage...wearing a blindfold...and believe...thru the re-odorization of Febreeze emitted chemical concoctions...that you are actually in a field full of the most aromatic flowers on Earth...I'm gonna hafta call bullshit on this one too...it's much too far-out there...if this were true the government would have capitalized on this little morsel of mind-enhancing information...and it would still be regarded as a National Secret...and the 8 years prior to this President's term would have been much brighter...for us...and the fog filled fellow I call Dumbya...personally I think nuclear...NOT nucular...radiation has more to do with boosting cognitive function and memory...see Hiroshima WWII...2 bombs dropped...thousands vaporized...yet since that time period they have kicked our asses in everything from cars to computers...the only thing they don't have is a Navy...WHEW...guess we WON that battle...too bad we didn't have a little more foresight than guinea pigging a corner of the world for radioactive fallout and it's future ramifications...no folks I firmly believe that if this were true there would be multi-tudes of children showing up for their respective homeroom classes with sprigs of cinammon shoved so far up their noses they'd look like they sprouted horns from their foreheads...and believe me...there are those among us who would still have them replaced annually even in adulthood...chalkboards in the generation before me...books in my generation...and all forms of internet capable smart technology devices of today woulda come equipped with cinnamon smelling 'Scratch-N-Sniff' sections affixed in such a manner you'd hafta obey the time honored tradition of runnin a fingernail back and forth across them...followed by the required middle of the face planted sniff...just to access them...segregating those who are unfortunate enough to be born with an allergy to the sweet smell of raw cinnamon...which wouldn't be bad...the world will still need fast-food fuck-ups who can't get your damn order right if you step behind the counter and do it for them...on the contrary...certain smells to emit an odor that results in a reaction...as anyone with inside knowledge of a Smithsonian adventure can sure testify too...I've made people actually puke due to certain unsavory emanations from my nether regions...and I'm not just talkin' about the hack hack...cough cough...type of regurgitation...but full out split-pea green soup...Exorcistic...head rotating...projectile vomit...so I do know that certain smells can have an effect of the one taking the whiff...anyone who has raised a child from birth is also familiar with the...'OH MY GOD...WTF IS THAT...I'M GONNA TOSS MY COOKIES' aura associated with the diaper changing scenario...hell there were times I would hafta get all gussied up in my radioactive protective gear...spare astronaut suit...and kick the boy in the bubble out just so I could approach my kids when they were young...and do you think I had the privilege of the internet to forewarn me???  NO I DID NOT...on a few occassions I even had to resort to sticking my head in the cat's litter just to fill my nostrils with something less sulphuric than the processed baby food factories waste material...it should also be noted that certain products out there require reading before usage...as in sink drain unclogging utensils...NEVER NEVER NEVER mix 2 seperate competitors products...it can have rather devastating effects...even people like me sometimes overstep the stupidity line...and believe me...NOBODY could've been harder on me than I was myself...NOTHING screams DUMBASS like running out of your house...arms...legs...head and neck flailing about like some sorta Mental Hospital Escapee...tears...snot...mucus...saliva streaming from every available orifice in such magnificent quantities you could almost start your own 'Slime in a Bucket' toy line...another thing that should also be noted is that an individuals sensory perception...in regards to smells...is directly related to ethnicity...it hasta be...there's no other explanation for it...if you think I've completely missed the boat on this one then get yourself a passport...travel abroad...try a few authentic cuisines that you have completely NO idea what it contains...how many of you...show of hands...think they could sit down to a nice Haggis-eating contest...if the smell enough isn't repulsive enough the shit-lined intestinal tract it's served in should do the trick...or how about you go stomp around the desert with a nomadic tribe...sit down to a campfire dinner consisting of recently retrieved...newly neutered...fresh from the sac...raw goats nuts...MMM MMM GOOD...it's surprising Campbells hasn't come out with a Goat Testicle Gumbo!!!  Lo and Behold there will be several women rushing directly to the baking aisle after reading this little tidbit...collecting every available container of cinnamon available...flying home and subjecting their husbands and children to a new look...Cinnamon Stick Nostril Savants...all in the hope that by weeks end they won't hafta ride the same bus to school and work...yeah...until McCormicks comes out with an ad campaign...Boost Your Brain...Snort Cinnamon and Let it Drain...I think I'll just make do with what I have...I don't wanna be runnin to the kitchen cabinet every time I need to consider all aspects of an idea...besides it gets boring enough being right 90% of the time...I can't imagine how dull life would be if I had all the answers!!!   LOL!!!