Someone on Earth reports seeing a UFO every 3 minutes. In the U.S., reported sighttings usually occur in July at 9 p.m. and 3 a.m....
No real surprise there...especially the part about U.S. sightings...July is the apex of summer...a time of year that is enjoyed by everyone to some extent...cooking on the grill...bonfires...alcohol...maybe a few other recreational endeavors...I'd be more surprised if there were less sightings...hell I'm flabbergasted they don't have a show on T.V. dedicated to the exploration and uncovering of U.F.O.'s...ya know kinda like those hairball seekers on Finding Bigfoot...one of my favorite shows on Animal Planet...a channel whose overall programming...save for this particular show...is all about the different species of animals living on our planet... do I believe in U.F.O.'s and lifeforms from other worldly places...in a word 'YES'...have I ever seen a U.F.O....well that depends on your definition of a U.F.O....taken at face value...just about anything could be classified as a U.F.O....for 16 weeks during the N.F.L. regular season I witnessed several U.F.O.'s...everytime Romo went back to pass...the possibility of a seeing a UFO existed...until the scientific community started naming stars...distant planets...anything not glued to the earth gravitationally could be considered a UFO...I am somewhat skeptical of actual sightings of interstellar space travelling starships... having watched countless episodes of Star Trek...I've NEVER once seen the U.S.S. Enterprise visible from the planet they're visiting...at least not without the assistance of some sort of radar...the ship remains in orbit around the planet...much like a Space Shuttle once it embarks on it's mission...we can't see it with the naked eye as it circles the globe...we can communicate with it...we can see it on radar...with the aide of telescopes...I would hafta believe that if an alien lifeform had achieved the technology to travel great distances thru space...they would undoubtedly have a transportaion room...capable of beaming things on and off the planet...or at the very least some sort of smaller shuttle...the simple math alone doesn't add up with the technology we currently possess...there are 1440 minutes in an earth day...which translates into 480 reported sightings PER DAY...around the globe...now unless these sightings are all over remote...barely inhabited islands...every last one of should have gotten a glimpse of these things by now...interstellar space travel would require a propulsion system of such magnitude it couldn't possibly be contained in a craft the size often associated with UFO sightings...they would therefore hafta be smaller shuttle craft from a much larger interplanetary space visiting ship...which satellites and radar arrays would undoubtedly pick-up...unless of course they also have developed a Kling-on cloaking device...highly unlikely since you wouldn't hide yourself only to dispatch smaller visible shuttles to announce your presence...I have a feeling most of these sightings are either hatched as excuses by good old boys embellishing drunken excursions without the awareness of their spouses...or as a direct result of showing up inebriated hours past the time they said they would return home...flying frying pans and rolling pins can appear UFO-like under the right conditions...reports of abduction are more than likely campfire tales told to the fella's the following day to explain away the bumps...bruises...and black-eyes received after the previous nights domestic dispute...it's much less humiliating to admit you've been anally probed by a Gang of Greys than it is to own up to the fact you got your ass handed to ya by the missus...how do I come to this conclusion??? Ancient Aliens...another program I occupy my time with...available on the History Channel...examines many theories revolving around the aspect of alien intervention thruout the course of human history on this planet...they explore and debate ancient cave etchings to formulate their theories...and guess what??? NOT a single one exists depicting a human being teleporting to a waiting sapce ship...being strapped to a cold metal table...and rectally probed by a buncha long fingered transparent grey entities...so I doubt very seriously it's a habit they recently picked up in another quadrant of space...or in some other galaxy...and incorporated it into earthly visitations...it wouldn't make any sense...you don't warp the fabric of time and space...travel across vast galaxies...and universes...just to dabble around in the nether regions of the existing planetary lifeforms...and even if you did...you wouldn't confine it to a single sub-species...the toothless...moonshine swillin'...cabbage headed hillbilly clan...I mean come on...wouldn't it make more sense to momentarily kidnap the scientists...professors...engineers...those among us who would appear to have the knowledge required to assist with advancements in humanity...what could they possibly hope to learn by grabbing a few gator munchin...swamp stoolies...unless of course they are researching establishing a royal bloodline thru inbreeding and hope to find out where oh where these muttonheads messed up...the same problem affects the UFO sighting crowd as does the Bigfoot Hunting Helmet Heads...they are looking for things that have left behind NO physical evidence of their purported existence...I've yet to see a clear image of either...in a day and age where camera technology has grown by leaps and bounds...every time one of these hairbrained hooligans snaps an evidential photgraph it ends up looking like something a third grade watercolor enthusiast smeared together yesterday five minutes before the recess bell rang...and just to set the record strait...I personally have NEVER seen...thought I saw...or been abducted by an alien lifeform yet I do believe life exists beyond this planet...FAR beyond this planet...so distant in fact that even with the technological capability of a propulsion system equivalent to WARP speed it would take them several hundred...if not thousands of earth years for them to travel...otherwise our friends north of the border would've already established a monopoly on interstellar spaceports...simply because they possessed the foresight to build a UFO launching pad long before the rest of us...we would have colonies on the moon as well as other planets...and we don't...because??? Aside from the MARS rover program we've NEVER successfully landed a space vehicle on another planetary object...that's right I said it...humans have NOT set foot on the moon...how can I be sure of this...well lets consider for a moment the USA's Space Program...we started out with rockets and capsules...rockets escaped earth's gravitational field...seperated...and sent the capsule into orbit...where it supposedly and eventually touched down on the moon...a barren lump of rock that circles our planet and shines bright at night...there were NO landing pads...NO rocket fuel stations...NO launch facilities to utilize...the moon as we all know has it's own gravitational field...albeit less confining than that found here on earth...so how did we land a capsule without so much as a ding to its exterior...how did the moon rover appear...it wasn't tucked away in the glove compartment of the capsule...it surely couldn't have been shipped there...to the exact location of the capsule...on an unmanned rocket...how were these moonwalkers able to leave the moon once they got there??? The capsule itself wouldn't have had the rocket propulsion necessary to escape the moons orbit...all it had was an array of much smaller rockets...capable of adjusting direction and rate of descent...it took a rocket...full of fuel to make the trip...yet considerably much less to engage the return trip home...HARDLY...the same applies to interstellar space travel...you hafta have the necessary components available at the launch site as well as the landing site...still NOT fully convinced...capsules had what type of landing apparatus??? LEGS...basically...things that stuck out of the bottom of the craft like chair legs...and made landing on unchartered topography viable to the imagination...what happened to the Space Program after the Moon Landings...it took a drastic turn...spacecraft underwent a dramatic change...they incorporated wings...a tail rudder...and TIRES...TIRES people...TIRES...a vehicle quite incapable of landing anywhere other than earth...the planet from which it came...WHY is this important??? It gave NASA the opportunity to avoid questions of landing on other planets...even the MARS rovers had to be enveloped in a big bouncy ball type of delivery system to land on that planet...before the TIRES could be of use...and guess what??? There was NEVER even a thought of retrieving those devices...why??? Because they are share a basic similarity with early space capsules...A propulsion system incapable of performing the necessary escape velocity required to return home! a UFO from a far superiorly advanced planet would require the same necessities that ours would...a fuel source at the arriving location...or the enormity of size to carry the necessary source to and from visiting locations...since our natural resources don't appear to be vanishing at a clip of 480 sightings per day...I feel safe in reporting that UFO sightings...as they are currently reported worldwide...are flown by the elusive Sasquatch...a creature so crafty it is often glimpsed during daylight hours...yet searched for during the...oh so bright hours between dusk and dawn...without the aid of game cameras...a creature so masterfully aware of being sought out it NEVER leaves an animal carcass visible after a meal...an apparent OCD when it comes to toiletry habits...and the ability to fly spaceships undetected across vast expanses of land...stopping momentarily to abduct...posteriorly probe...and return the lesser learnable types...who as a matter of circumstance...are the only tribe of people with the power to see both a Bigfoot and a UFO...usually within days of each other...it would seem to me a rather simple method of catching or capturing either of these phenomenon is in order...instead of stomping around Squatchy areas at night...with lights...camera's...and idiots who think howling like some witless werewolf wannabee is going to bring a stampede of Squatches closer to the campfire...how about you hunt it like every other animal known to man...with a little common sense...string some raw meat up in a tree...the latest UFO sighter should do...set up a few night vision cameras...infrared laser boundaries...motion sensitive recording devices...hell even a buried spring loaded net-trap...throw out some veggies and fruit too...just in case it isn't a big fur-bearing scary ass carnivore...litter forest floors with these traps...toss in a few pitfalls...and viola'...within a matter of weeks you'll have your answer...you'll either bag one...or go home empty handed instead of empty headed...same thing applies to proving the existence of UFO's...there's a movement within the scientific community currently underway...and yet a complete waste of time...it incorporates aligning radio telescopes all over the planet to try and view the edge of a Black Hole...thought to be at the center of the Milky Way...in order to understand Einstein's Theory of General relativity at a more base level...here's the thing...these fucktards of formulae are missing the big picture...unless UFO's are popping out of the thing on a universal anal probing vendetta...I doubt the rest of us give a rat's ass about further proving...or possibly disclaiming...a theory that has been in use since it was postulated...what possible good could come from this??? NOTTA damn thing...and here's why...just recently...thru one of our tidbits...we were enlightened to the fact that these same stupendous sages of space believe that as time approaches a Black Hole it STOPS...and that NOTHING entering a Black Hole has the power to escape it's enormous gravitational field...so what...pray tell...makes these morons believe that radio waves are the answer...if NOTHING else known to man...is capable of such a task...up to and including LIGHT...which travels at speeds significantly greater than radio waves...and is still unable to wrangle itself free of this whirlpool of non-existence...wouldn't it stand to reason radio waves stand about as much chance of survival as an ice cube in hell...they even have a name for this mysterious outer rim of the Black Hole...it's dubbed the 'EVENT HORIZON'...a misnomer if I ever heard one...events take place in TIME...and TIME as they theorize...bottles up and comes to a complete halt at this location...thereby eliminating the possibility of an EVENT taking place...now it would seem to me there is a resolution to the UFO epidemic available in place of this disastrous experiment...gather the scientific community...let them align their radio wave emitting telescopes...grab a few...'wish I were smart enough to be classified stupid'...people from the backwoods of America...strip them naked...tattoo directional arrows on their backs...pointing to the place most likely to be probed...dangle them off skyscraper building cranes...kinda like retarded fishing lures...and wait a few weeks...you'll either have pictures galore of UFO's nibbling at the numbies...or you'll come to realize that this epidemic is the result of eons of inbreeding in the Appalachian foothills!!!
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