There is an organization called SCROOGE in Virginia that stands for Society to Curtail Ridiculous, Outrageous, and Ostentatious Gift Exchanges...
Isn't that lovely...a whole organization dedicated to try and stop people from re-gifting...the time honored tradition of giving someone else the bullshit gift you got for Christmas last year...you know the one...you open it...in front of everyone...all eyes become fixated on it...a hushed silence falls over the room...(not out of excitement...but out of sheer bewilderment)...nobody has a clue what it is...and yet you hafta smile and act as if it's somethin you always wanted...yeah...that's the one...you can't tell if its a set of nostril hair trimmers for Sasquatch...or some new fangled hair removal system for your wifes hoo-hah...ya know my Mother is the one who is at the heart of these Tidbit's...she searches them out on the internet...sends them to me in a text...and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't point out a few family related things with regards to our little mind nugget of nutrition....(psst...Mom...I can't believe you read these things to yourself and give yourself one of those 'bug-massacring beatdowns'...and think...uh-oh...) My own Mother...the woman who raised me...who continues to be an inspiration...and who could love me like no other...would undoubtedly be targeted by this organization...NOT because she re-gifts...she double gifts...that's right...I said double gifts...talk about outrageous...LOL...why just this year my son got a long sleeve duplicate of a short sleeve shirt he got last year...we still get chuckles over that one...and probably will for years to come...we'll call you Grandma 'Double-Gifter' Rebec...he loved it tho...don't get me wrong...one of his favorite shirts...and now he has one for summer and winter...she is also famous for her 'Santa' gifts...which are the most anticipated presents of the year...I'm sure to get a return email for this one...LMAO...but ya know if ya didn't see that one comin'...a visit to the eye doctor may be in order...sorry Momma...but ya gotta share the funny stuff when it becomes relative to the topic at hand...anyway...now that I've quelled my eye-watering...body shaking laughter and composed myself...(I really shoulda left that part til the end...ya had to be here...it was hysterical)...my son Matthew and I decided to open our 'Santa' gifts on Christmas Eve...the look on his face shoulda been my first clue...it was a mixture of confusion...recognition...maybe a little shock...he pulled it out of the box...stood up and went straight to his room...he came out a few minutes later...stood in the middle of the room...I glanced up...noticed he 'appeared' to have his new shirt on...mind you I was pre-occupied with my own 'Santa' gift...a singin Santa with a penchant for passing gas...absolutely hysterical...Matthew stood there and asked me..."Hey, do ya notice anything?"...I took a cursory glance in his direction..."No...why? The shirt looks fine to me"...he peeled the long sleeve shirt off the short sleeve shirt he had changed into underneath..."Gramma got me the same shirt"...I'm not gonna lie...I laughed like a criminally insane mental patient...that story will live for generations in this family...The Spirit of Gramma 'Double-Gifter' Rebec...and how she single handedly...outwitted...outsmarted...evaded...eluded...and sabotaged the efforts of an organization called SCROOGE!!! 'Twas the night before Christmas...and there beneath the tree...was a present from Santa...and it was labeled for me...it sparkled and shined...wrapping paper so bright...I knew just that moment...I hadta open it to-night...I tore and I shredded...I ripped thru it with glee...I popped open the box...and what did I see...lo and behold...and much to my surprise...the shirt before me...was just my size...a long sleeved version...to wear when it gets cold...oh the joys that await me...when I too become old...I ran to my room...to see if I were dreamin...could it be a joke...was someone schemin...to my closet I flew...actually I just rushed...when I cracked the door...my doubts were all hushed...there on a hanger...was a short sleeved shift...of the shirt I know held...as my twin 'Santa' gift!!! ROTFLMAOTTCOOME!!! (Rolling On The Floor Laughin My Ass Off Til Tears Come Out Of My Eyes) Momma, I hope you know how much you are loved and appreciated by all of us...I knew I had to include this in the Tidbit the minute I opened the text from you and read it...try not to give 'D.G.' a hard time today...as we all know by now...it isn't everyday a person gets up early enough to inhale their daily dosage of cinammon!!! And on that note I will bid you all a good day...before she disowns me! LOL!!!
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