02/03/12

It costs more to buy a new car in the U.S. than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the New World...

Man am I glad I wasn't in this dunderheads history class...this tidbit altho factual...omits several key factors that make it true...of course it costs more to buy a new car than it did for C.C. to equip and undertake 3 voyages to and from the New World...it costs more to buy a Hot Wheels toy replica of a new car than it did for him to complete these trips...anybody know why???  Come on people...this one is so easy it should cause you headaches from smacking you in the face...Christopher Columbus didn't pay anything to equip and undertake any sea going voyage...whether it was a short little stint around the harbor or across vast oceans to undiscovered land masses...he was COMMISSIONED to perform these duties...the equipment necessary was GRANTED to him to make the initial crossing...once here his crew raped, plundered and enslaved the natives and their villages...and took anything they needed to make the return trip home...bet they didn't include that in the History texts you read from back in highschool now did they...NO...because painting a picture of a pirate as the finder of The New World wouldn't have sat very well...how do I know my version to be factual???  Because I seldom believe a damn thing any institution offers as factual evidence...especially when that institutions educational material is provided and controlled by a government body...and take the time to research other avenues of education that reveal hidden truths our government would love to deny...NOT too mention that upon undertaking the initial voyage...one of the duties included was for Christopher Columbus and his crew to map their findings and locate the End of the known world...remember...some people back then firmly believed that the world was FLAT...therefore it had impassable boundaries that needed to be located and charted in order to minimize unnecessary voyages...they had no idea they were going to come across a whole new continent...let alone people ocuppying it...so it should go without saying that they had NO idea what sort of items to carry along to use as trade for additional items they might need...making return trip cost projections immaterial...hell they didn't even know if there would be a return trip home when they embarked...it wasn't as if Chris was sittin' around bored one day...decided to build 3 boats...round up a buncha equally bored volunteers...explain to them that he had a vision of crossing the ocean and finding new unchartered continents...and could assure them of a safe return...let's assume for a moment that Chris had to pay for this adventure out of pocket...for arguments sake...the year was 1492...the boats were made out of wood...powered by the wind and/or oarsmen...food was grown and harvested by farmers and traded for other goods...prices for material and food were significantly cheaper...wind was...and remains free...and the other mode of power only required brute strength...taking into account that cars...as well as their mechanical parts are not now...nor have ever been...made out of wood...should be the first clue as to cost comparisons...were Chris alive today...challenged with the same voyages and equipment costs I dare say his out of pocket expense would far exceed the price of a new vehicle...I could just as easily make the statement...It cost the Wright brothers less to invent a flying machine than it did for NASA to complete the Apollo missions...you don't need a degree in Deciphering from Sherlock Holmes School of Clue Collecting to figure that out...It cost less for people to travel to California in covered wagons than it did to build the first Intercontinental Railway...well DUH...It cost Neandrathals and Cro-Mags less to live in caves than it did for their evolutionary relatives to erect houses...NO SHIT!!!  It costs less to build a flight of stairs higher than the tallest building than it did to invent...manufacture...and install elevator systems...NO...ya don't say...REALLY...I wouldn't bullshit ya...It costs me more to provide a humorous outlook to the ignorance most of the authors of our daily forays into funny shit...than it would for me to write them down and mail them out to you individually...had to buy a computer...pay for internet service...significantly more than a ream of paper...a few pens...envelopes...and stamps...kinda overwhelming isn't it...NOT REALLY...it's all right there...if it were any clearer it would be tattooed across your forehead...ya just hafta learn to look at it in a different light...It costs me more to heat my house with gas than it would to live outdoors in a tropical climate where average night time temperatures hover around 80 degrees...I could go on forever utilizing this mental midgets method of comparison...here's the real kick in the ass...wanna know who is still being held accountable financially for Mr. Columbus' little land grabbing voyage...you and I are...thru tribal land grants...casino rights for Native Americans...and all the other government funded...(American taxpaying dollars) programs for a group of people who were originally massacred and enslaved by the crews of some European entreprenuer...sucks don't it???  I guess I shouldn't bitch about the shallow end swimmers I love to call Floaties...if it weren't for their absence of intelligence...I wouldn't enjoy these little events of enlightenment I get to provide on a daily basis...we need Drive-Thru technicians at Fast Food Fortresses just as much as we do Intelligent Inventors of Information Technology...otherwise the world would indeed be FLAT and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to perform my duties of dissection accordingly!!!