Scatologists are experts who study feces...(AKA...crap, dung, dookie, dumps, excrement)
I think it's rather funny that the author felt it necessary to explain in laymen's terms the definition of feces...if you're too retarded to understand the word feces...deciphering a moniker like scatologist is way beyond your linguistic ability...so for those of you fumbling around in a fog this morning...scatologists is a really nice way of saying...'shit-sniffer'...where in the sam hell do you obtain a degree in the exploration of dung droppings...I've NEVER seen this offered thru an accredited institution of higher learning...NOT too mention the Yellow Pages...believe me I just checked...Northern Michigan is void of anyone fingering thru fecal matter for the purpose of profit...that's NOT to say there aren't several morons mulling over some after-mastication material...but I doubt they'd qualify as Scatologists...we refer to them as over-enthusiastic...avid hunters...and as much as I hate to admit it...I am/have been related to a few of these famous fecal fondlers...who appear to be absent the logical...cognitive thinking capacity of the cinammon sniffing sector...when coming upon a pile of poo left by some lesser four-legged forest friend they hope to slay for supper...it's NEVER enough for these individuals to simply scan the forest floor looking for shit...NO my dear friends...these pirates of the poop chute pilings feel it necessary to un-glove a hand...grab hold a few of these smelly morsels of butt-mudd and squeeze them between their fingers in an effort to determine how fresh it is...and when the animal in question was last present in the vicinity of vacating itself...NEVERMIND that it has a rather runny appearance...coupled with steam still rising from it...and the animal in question is a mere 50 yards away at the edge of the swamp looking rather perplexed as to why some dipshit dressed in orange camoflage is dumpster diving thru their dookie...that doesn't seem to do it for these wildmen of the Northern Hinterlands of Michigan...every last one of them should be given an honorary scatology degree since most of them return home with shit to show for their effort...Where do you go to find a scatologist...and more importantly...WHY??? How did it become an expertise??? NOT that I have a desire to become a scatologist...I think it would be rather difficult to engage in dinner conversation with colleagues over career fields consisting of clowning around in caca...I'm just curious what kinda locker dwelling dumbass decides they want to pursue a PHD in picking thru poop...I've NEVER found it even remotely necessary to dig thru the doodoo of an animal I intend to serve for supper in order to enjoy my meal...quite the contrary actually...as long as the intestinal tract was kept intact during the removal process...we're good...I mean who employs these purveyors of poo...I suppose I could grasp the concept if shit was a commodity traded on the Stock Exchange with it's own ticker sticker...but it's NOT...and therefore is a foul field of further study best left to our forest friends in order to find out if they've crossed into a plateau occupied by predators...I mean holy shit...I've seldom...if ever...even given a moments notice as to what is contained in my own crapper when I barricade myself in the bathroom for the alloted time it takes to purge my physical being of unneccessary non-nutrient waste and water...let alone considered commandeering the commode closet of a close friend or relative simply to determine what clues their caca coughs up...and I thought I was a sick twisted bastard...guess I'll hafta redefine my understanding of that self-imposed label...the scientific study of shit...good f**kin' thing these idiots don't moonlight on the Sasquatch Hunting Safari...they'd be about as useless as an 8 year old paranormal prodigy...here's a little WWKS enlightment info for ya...I don't have a degree in shit sniffin'...fecal fingering...or poop chute patronization...but I can tell you with absolute certainty that digging around in the dung piles of any other animal...human included...is NOT only unnecessary but should also be outlawed...ya germ spreading Neandrathals...all ya hafta do is LOOK at it...ya don't hafta touch it...dissect it...model around with it like Play-Doh...just take a peek at the poo...if it's runny...perhaps a change in diet is in order...or a trip to the family doctor for a flu shot and some prescription medicinal after-care...if it's solid...you seem fit as a fiddle...don't need ya to bag up a stool sample for your semi-annual checkup...don't need the particulars surrounding the plop plop...splash splash...symphony that accompanied your last visit to the shit cellar...hell ya don't even need to call me for advice...constipated...ex-lax is the answer...got the ass-cramping...please god keep my ass cheeks together for five more minutes while I waddle down the walkway to the water closet...(Come On...some of you are sitting there with that weird look on your face like this has NEVER happened to you)...bet I could find a skidmarkologist to determine different...then you probably need to STOP eating all those f**kin vegetables and add a little meat to your diet...I guess things could be worse...somebody at some point in time has had to have failed the Fecal Flinging Final exam...ended up falling back on their Secondary Studies and graduated with...Oh So Coveted Title of...Turdburglar...always stealing someone elses shit to provide control samples for the CEO's of Crap Catchers Anonymous...that ultra elusive group credited with the discovery of the anal-optic nerve...solely responsible for spreading shitty ideas thruout humanity like it was a freshly plowed field waiting for fertilizer...( I know what you're thinking...how do we spot these connossieurs of caca in a public poo-free place)...They're usually disguised as asshole abducting aliens with abnormally large colon cleansing digits capable of Inter-galactic space travel and imprisonment of the Incestial Inbred...but seriously...xxxxxologists normally refers to someone who has a PHD associated with their title...make sure to read the fine print on that Devry Degree in Determining the Daunting Data Dug-up thru Dabbling in Defecation...it should have 2 small 'o's between the P and H...and as the ancient chinese masters of medicine...the Honorable Hu Flung Dung...and his associate...Y.U. Poo...were so fond of saying...'Neva shake hand of man wif fecal fingers Daniel-san...he don't know SHIT!!!'
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