02/22/12

Winston Churchill was born in a ladie's room during a dance...

Really???  So England's Greatest contribution to involving America in WWII was coughed up in a crapper...seems fitting since he really didn't accomplish shit singlehandedly...I may need a refresher course in military strategy...but isn't getting your country bombed back to the Stone Ages...before begging your biggest ally for support generally considered FAILURE...I don't get it...the guy gave great speeches...when he wasn't st..st..st..stuttering...had he NOT been born into the arisocratic family of the Dukes of Marlborough...he NEVER would have been appointed Prime Minister...when you hafta beg...borrow...and steal the soldiers and pilots of your allies to obtain victory over your adversary...you might need to reflect on the intestinal fortitude of your fellow countrymen...I know what some of you are thinking...(but Kevin aren't we just as guilty of asking for assistance...compiling international coalitions to combat our enemies)...hardly...we allow them to climb on board so that they can feel important at an International level while we continue to covertly attempt to rule the world...if we were casting votes for the world's Hall of Fame for Super Powers...England and France would hafta split a vote just to be mentioned...neither of these two countries could fight for air if they were playing water polo in an empty pool...they have NO business bothering with the complexities involved in combat...you hafta go back centuries to find a war either country waged and won without the assistance of allies...(I can hear it now...somebody amongst you considers themselves well versed in British History...and is...no doubt...at this very moment...prepared to remind us all of The Falklands War)...Bravo!!! Golly good old chap...and all that happy horseshit...they fought the Argentine Army and Air Force...you remember those hostile...well respected warmongers from South America...the same ones who hadn't engaged in armed conflict since 1880...the whole Falklands War lasted 74 days...and took place in 1982...England sent a naval task force to retake the island...I woulda sent Bubba...two of his buddies...and a bassboat full of beer...they'd kicked the shit outta the Argentine Armed Forces in a little more than a long afternoon...Britain is...and has been a monumental mockery when it comes to military affairs...I hate when history misconstrues a segment of the past to the point it praises some tea-sippin'...sissy assed...sally boy who is undeserving of the credit bestowed upon them...I don't know much about British History...or Winston Churchill for that matter...NOR do I care too...studying the epic failures of forgotten foreign sovereignties is not my specialty...what I do know is that in during the Revolutionary War the British Army as well as it's Navy got their asses handed to them in a ten gallon hat...by a buncha disgruntled farmers...who by the way just so happened to be former countrymen...or the offspring thereof...then their was WWI...a 4 year war during which Britain lost a vast majority of it's wealth...suffered horrendous casualties...and surrendered it's place as the leading super power of the world...wanna guess who was First Lord of the Admiralty during WWI...that same blowhard mentioned in the tidbit itself...WWII comes along...and guess what???  Great Britain is gettin' it's ass kicked again...this is where it gets interesting...the German Luftwaffe is mercilessly bombing the hell outta England...demonstrating air superiority over it's adversary...and to what position do they appoint Mr. Churchill...once again he becomes the First Lord of the Admiralty...from the outbreak of war...they give him control of the water forces to fight the invading air forces...there's a military acronym for this method of magnifying mayhem...WTF!!!  and here's where it gets interesting...and actually ruffles my asshairs a bit more than a stiff breeze blowing across my blanket while I sunbathe in the buff...shortly after WWII...war historians give Churchill credit for pushing Parliament for the rearmament of the RAF and turning the tide of the war...resulting in an Allied Victory...NOW maybe I've missed a thing or two in my lifetime...I wasn't around during WWII...don't pretend to have all the facts...but I dare venture to verbalize my own humble opinion regarding Winston Churchill's illustrious war record...If it weren't for a few good old boys named Bradley...Eisenhower...and Patton...Churchill woulda died of old age speaking German...and that piece of shit parcel of rock known as England would be flying a different flag as we speak...you wanna know why England isn't the 51st member of the United States...it sits too close to France...and on a warm summer's day...with the wind blowing in the right direction...you can damn near choke on the overpowering aroma of fear...I won't lie to ya...I must digress...WWII was our countries Greatest Moment...in a military manner of speaking...the country unified...supported the soldiers...supported the war effort and what we were trying to accomplish...the liberation of people from the hands of tyranny...we haven't done much since...drew a DO NOT CROSS line in the dirt over in Korea...lost a shitload of good american men in Vietnam for no apparent reason...some hit and miss missions in the middle east during the '80's...and now this...unfinished... unresolved...impending disaster in Iraq...don't get me wrong...I support my brothers and sisters in arms...even if I disagree with how the government deploys them...when does it end???  10 years of bloodshed...NOT one single WMD to show for it...for f**ks sake...find a damn cave and show me drawing of a WMD...toy with me a bit...keep me believing there's still a valid reason for our soldiers' sacrifice...next will be Iran...because they might have intentions of developing more than nuclear energy...which proves the ignorance of the current regime in control of Iran...claim you're a changed country...that you embrace Democracy...10 years from now you can build your nuclear weapons on our dime...it isn't that hard to figure out...our civilian leaders aren't near as savvy as the ones we will send to shoot you...and as far as England and France are concerned...our future alliance with either of them in regards to armed conflict should be determined thru a coin flip...just 1...like at the start of a football game...Heads...we help them...Tails...let them get taken...together they're worth about as much as a wet fart at the water cooler when it comes to war...OH STOP...sometimes truth hasta be delivered brutally...Churchill better have thanked his lucky stars he had a 'Sir' in front of his name instead of an 'Herr'...porkbellied little primate could've ended up watching a parade of short stachioed shitheads stomping thru the Royal Palace!!!