Title 14, Sec. 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestials or their vehicles...
Apparently this only applies if you know how to read above the 3rd grade level and don't reside in a state south of the Mason-Dixon line...notice it doesn't stipulate ramifications revolving around abductions and subsequent Bubba-sicle producing anal probing procedures...this is one of those laws that just doesn't make sense...a government that denies any type of alien intervention in human history...finds it necessary to enact a law forbidding the practice of interstellar species interaction...I wonder...did they ever STOP to consider that a life form possessing the intelligence to utilize galaxy gliding space travel...more than likely also has the potential to manufacture machines that possess the awesome power of teleportation...you know...that awesome ability that allows Kirk and the rest of the 'Away Team' to beam about the universe at will...penalties for violating the "Extra-Terrestial Exposure Law" could include imprisonment for up to 1 year...and a $5000.00 fine...NOT too mention being quarantined without a hearing by NASA or it's administrators...proof once again that my theory was right with regards to the Moon Landing mock-up...because if we had touched down on a planet...or hunk of orbiting space junk...everyone in NASA should have been arrested...astronauts included...once a projectile leaves the atmosphere of this planet...it becomes extra-terrestial by definition...operation above and outside the law however...is still reserved for those in positions of power within the U.S. government...what is it they expect an individual to do if they are to encounter a UFO or alien life form...gently but firmly explain...from a predetermined distance...the illegalities involved with such interaction...gonna be kinda hard to get little Gary the Grey to stop poking around in my posterior just because the clusterf**ks in control of my country think it's a bad idea to be taken against my will by a lifeform with far greater intellectual capacity than myself...is there a Help Hotline we can call...and if so why isn't it as popular as 911...and for my own comfort and peace of mind...please enlighten me as to what they intend to do to the offending aliens...will they be locked up at the local PD...how will you enforce a fine upon them...as far as I am aware we haven't yet developed the necessary currency exchange to enable such enforcement of financially mandated fines...maybe they should concentrate on actually enforcing this E.T. Exposure Law...instead of just puttin it on the books...it would sure quiet down the poop-chute probing community in a quick hurry...think I'm jokin'...you try obtaining legal counsel capable of mounting a defense argument that stipulates you were simply devastated by the digital desires of an alien life form...gonna be damn hard explaining to your friends...family..and co-workers how your picture ended up in the paper accompanying a paragraph titled..."UFO occupier gets 'fingered' for $5000.00"...and here's the real kick in the ass...if another life form does visit our big blue marble someday...and we fail to make contact...the future of our advancement as a species relies solely on the stupidity of several civilian sectors within our current goverment...pretty bleak prognosis for us as a people...wouldn't you agree??? Seriously...if I even think I've witnessed an avenue of escape...extra-terrestial or otherwise...I'll be the first one bolting out the door and booking safe passage...because here's the thing...even if they reject me due to being so anally retentive you couldn't ram an unsoaked strand of spaghetti up there with a shoehorn and a sledge hammer...I would project an attitude of arrogance...fear of the unknown would keep these idiots from imprisoning me or imposing a fine...and there's a chance that me being first would ruin it for the rest...10 minutes with me on board and they'd have those assholes in office shovelling Sasquatch shit on the south side of Saturn...this little law...speaks volumes about the illogical intellect sought out by institutions of corruption during the hiring process...apparently one of the examples on the entrance exam for governmental job hunters requires the individual applying to draw an object which resembles a box...because if you can't draw the damn thing you damn sure can't think outside of it...which immediately qualifies you for consideration in the upper echelons of employment opportunities...this type of turdulent thinking is what has been and always will be wrong with this country...and it isn't selectively secluded to the government sector...people desperately need to educate themselves above and beyond what is currently available academically in this country...the common citizen hasn't a clue that half the shit our government is involved in is illegal...either on an individual or international level...we won't even mention their interstellar imprisonment issues...to say I am displeased with the performance of our politicians is an understatement equivalent to saying a constipated elephant has an ingrown hair up it's ass...I abhor this kind of ignorance...especially in individuals who have a direct hand in the progress of our nation as a whole...wanna know when the Senate has the countries best interest at heart...when it's out of session..."A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government"...George Washington said that...and he helped form the first faction of government on these shores...altho the language of the day was far inferior to what we have today...our forefathers fought for freedom...they didn't impose ill thought out injustice upon the commonwealth or it's citizens...the MISINTERPRETERS are the ones guilty of that...the E.T. Exposure Law was supposedly enacted to protect the civilian citizens of this country...the Federal Government feared that an individual might come in contact with one of our own early space program components...a capsule...a section of seperated rocket...and since this item may have an unknown extra-terrestial bacteria on it...a world wide epidemic was quite possible...they then went on to launch several missions into space...with the foresight to land these returning vessels at sea...in the water...an element deemed absolutely...100%...without a shred of doubt necessary...to maintain life as we know it...the only difference between our government and those it fears is...ours has mastered the art of covertness...we are one of the most restrictive countries claiming freedom...I mean WTF...if we were truly a country that allowed its constituents the affordability of freedom don't you think we should have a say in whether or NOT we wanna be allowed to frollick thru the forest foraging for unfound UFO's??? This law itself provides all the proof necessary that things are NOT what they seem here in the good ol' U.S. of A. It prevents privatization of space travel by individuals who might otherwise have the financial resources to undergo such an excursion...they are absolutely terrified that somebody might have the technological capabilities to advance colonization of other planets...and that given their overall track record we would all vacate this planet in hopes of forging a far better future on a distant frontier...leaving them all behind to find REAL jobs instead of sucking the life out of everyone thru unnecessary and illegal tax policies...I'm sure there are those among you who think I'm just being cute and humorous...far from it...our government fears one thing...and one thing only...the obliteration of the illusion known as control...once they lose it...all bets are off...the history of humanity throughout the ages suggests being a member of a corrupt government institution at the time of it being overthrown...doesn't bode too well for the bastards in question...it's sad really...when the only thing nice you have to say about your 'elected' officials is that they'd look better with their heads in a basket...and if Hollywood has it right...which they all too often do...when it comes to what the future holds when taking into account interstellar species interacting... chances are probably pretty damn good extra-terrestial life has already developed the most feared anomaly faced by the cast of the Enterprise...the Kling-on Cloaking Device...and they are parked outside on the White House lawn as we speak...which can only mean one thing...Class-Action Confinement... round them all up and quarantine them...they made the rule...let them live by it...I'll see everyone of them convicted to the fullest extent of the law in the Court of Kevin's Opinion...I intend to use the same illogical...illegitimate...ignorance they implored in enacting this ill-advised ass wrangling regulation...Guilty by Theory of Invisibility...which states...as I'm writing it now..."If you cannot prove something doesn't exist...it therefore must exist...and since you can't see it...plausible deniability is unacceptable as an argument" (Is that thunder I hear off in the distance...or has there been another THUMPING!)
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