03/29/12

Wearing headphones for just one hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times...

Ya know...it's very seldom that we come across pure unbridled ignorance such as this...but when we do... it really makes my day...this guy apparently studied the effects of externally mounted...head worn accessories...and math...in the same cubically enclosed containment area...maybe he shoulda used the larger handi-capable stall for his studying purposes...I wore protective headphones for several years without encountering the presence of brain sucking bacteria...as a matter of fact...under the circumstances that I found these things useful...working in an iron casting manufacturing facility...they probably did more than protect my hearing...they probably kept out at least a ton of dirt and silicon dust that would have otherwise resulted in significant loss of hearing...oh who am I kidding...I hafta lip-read television shows under 5000 decibels...but here's another thing that this moron of mythology left rather vaguely depicted...700 times...700 times what???  700 times worse than if you wandered around without earphones???  Seriously???  What...do we all possess some sorta magical...Jack and the Beanstalk/ Mexican Jumping Bean Bacteria in our auditory canals???  Does this stuff require an easy exit facility in order to fall out and function other epiderdermally dysfunctional...rapidly decaying... degradation procedures???  And even if it did...wouldn't the headphones just provide a holding station until they were removed???  It is ridiculously implausible to think that using protective headphones...or even the ear bud version associated with teenage idiots who can seem to securely fasten their pants above mid thigh...increases ones potential for creating an overwhelming abundance of ear boogers... relative scientific study...conducted by keeping up with modern technology and the cellular accessories one would associate with optimal use of the ear canal...in conjunction with the fact that most customers purchasing these products tend to buy only one...and not to mention the absence of an ear booger bacteria epidemic being related in any Journal of Modern Medicine...it would seem rather common sensical...(see what being subjected to 8 years of bad grammar and word modification does to ya)...for anyone capable of logical thinking above a 3rd grade level...to find it rather suspicious that enclosing microscopic auditory canal crawling bacteria...would encourage them to multiply like rabbits on Viagra...otherwise we'd be seeing a lot more one eared...inconsiderate assholes carrying on conversations thru the speakers of their phones...instead of the blue tooth ear piece that suffered them the loss of a vital part of their support system for their optical enhancing devices...making their glasses semm lopsided...or creating a unique head-tilting feature that straightens out the eyewear...but causes unenjoyable pressure on the skeletal corridor that carrys the weight of the cranium...and tends to put added stress on the remaining...bacteria filled...booger shooting sound receptacle...creating catastrophic load bearing requirements that result in the epidermal erosion of the outer ear connection...which in turn allows all the free flowing auditory fungus to flee thru a different portal...thereby ending in complete and total...deformation and detachment...of the only things that prevent bald men from looking like Q-tips...and that my friends would be the beginning of the death and destruction of modern technology...future generations would roam the streets in capable of communicating by oral command...the infrastructure of the cellular communications network would collapse...and the History Channel would air shows that could only be interpreted as Charades...the relative story telling of human history would be misinterpreted in such profound new ways...that lawyers slaughtering the subject matter of the U.S. Constitution would seem like Child's Play...I'll continue preaching til the day your ears fall off...from improper headphone accessory applications...to view the things you hear...read...or see...from different perspectives...otherwise you're capable of missing things like... relative social impact of the suffering the sage seems to be spouting off about...because here's the thing...people lose their hearing as time passes by...regardless of whether you wear bacteria bottling headphones or NOT...and when you get to be a certain age...the miniature bugs that may be multiplying behind those ear buds...are of far less concern than the follicle forest that seems to have found a formidable foothold on the outer rim of the inner ridge of these...bacteria filled fungus flingers...I'm more curious about where these rapidly growing...ear foilage...and nasal flora... formations come from...small microscopic sound disrupting bacteria...NOT a problem...ear twigs and nasal trees...cause for concern...it takes a matter of minutes to use some Hydrogen Peroxide to clean out my hearing chambers...it takes hours of intensive...exhaustive labor to rip thru and remove the roots of these lumber-some follicle leeches...a mirror or willing participant...and tweezers capable of maintaining...Jaws of Life like gripping capabilities...good lord...you would thin that with the receding ebb...and incresing flow...of society's acceptance of same sex companionships...that one of these light in the loafers...quasi-ladies...would come up with something that could help limit the amount of lumber like protrusions emanating from sensory enhancing receptacle cavities...I mean...COME ON...there has to be some justifiable reason for them to look appealing enough to potential 'Pitchers'...otherwise we are all in peril of possibly having to play Pictionary when our ears fall off from bad hygiene... commonly associated with piss poor bacteria imprisoning procedures...one recieves thru the considerate usage of headphones!!!