03/28/12

A 2" X 4" really only measures 1-1/2" X 3-1/2"...

This tidbit...altho entirely true...has not always been the case...originally a 2 x 4 was exactly that...a board of lumber measuring 2 inches by 4 inches...as happens with most things during the evolution process...things changed...women were awarded their rights...as some believe they should have been...and proceeded to find gainful employment within various fields of the construction industry...it was during this time that the 2 x 4 actually changed its dimensional appearance...men who had been working their entire field in the construction industry had grown accustomed to lying to their wives...and/or girlfriends about the size and girth of similar anatomic appendages or protrusions...to such an extent that in order for their secret to remain firmly out of reach of the female species...drastic reduction to the overall size of 'natural' wood materials was inevitable...couldn't have Heidi Homebuilder coming  home from the jobsite...hoppin in the shower with her husband Harry...and proclaiming that his plank of 'wood' didn't actually measure out to be 10"...but more closely resembled an inch and a half...that is the sole reason for the reduction of material associated with exact measurements...if Heidi hits the workplace thinking that a 2 x 4 actually and accurately represents a specific measurement...she is more likely to buy into husband Harry's bloated 'board' measurements regarding his own belongings...that or it was a simple process of wood mills wanting to make more money by shaving down their standard products an advertising them as representative of the actual width and depth...unfortunately this translated into homes that are inferiorly built in comparison to their older ancestors...take a look around next time you're out driving thru the countryside...you'll probably run across an old farmhouse with a Centennial placard in the front yard signifying that the house has stood in that present location for over a hundred years...while right down the road there'll be a brand new house just being moved into that will stand in that present location for approximately 50 years before needing significant remodeling...it's a process people...called supply and demand...one that the wood mills of this world seemed to grasp firmly from its inception...if you don't create the DEMAND for your products you won't need to worry about providing the SUPPLY because you'll be out of business...this concept runs rampant in the products we use every day...automobiles included...remember when you could ride in a vehicle...as a kid...standing up between the front bucket seats...without worrying about safety belts and air-bags...that's because the vehicles were made out of materials that lasted longer...even the oil companies have jumped on board...there used to be a time in this country when auto manufacturers offered their respective models with maintenance guidelines that suggested changing the oil every 5,000 miles...these days you can't go around the block to get breakfast without needing to replace something...it's gotten ridiculously outta control...and all because of greed... if you really wanna f**k with somebody...go to your local lumberyard and buy a quantity of 2 x 4's...load them into the truck...take them home for a few hours...then return to the store and demand to speak to the manager...inform them that you are going to be filing a lawsuit for false advertising...demand to be re-imbursed for the missing material you have already paid for...this really chaps their asses...because 9 times out of 10...the sales invoice will still list them product as a 2 x 4...and the threat of suing over false advertising practices usually makes a business owners asshole pucker...NOTHING screams of bad advertising like being wrapped up in a lawsuit with a local community member...who won't keep their mouth shut...could result in a small financial windfall if you play your cards right...regardless of the real reasons behind this travesty...one thing to keep in mind if you were unfamiliar with this false advertising procedure before today...is the relative size of other things men describe with enthusiasm...chances are the guy braggin about his canyon carving capabilities while pissin in the great outdoors...couldn't fill the hole left by the pointy end of a tack in a piece of drywall...it's the ones who keep quiet who really lay down the lumber ladies...and on that note...I'll shut up...LMAO!!!