The first dog ever fitted with contact lenses was hit by a car the day after he was fitted with them...
If this surprises you at all...STOP what you are doing and pay attention...DOGS...as well as other less intelligent life forms in the animal kingdom...have significantly less vision than humans do...therefore until Doogie Bowser, DOG MD graduates from Harvard while he's still a puppy and learns how to manufacture contact lenses for his species...I'm gonna stand by my theory that what works on humans...doesn't work on pets...guess why??? I know...and the damn thing of it is...I NEVER spent a single dime of my parents money on a wasted medical education...it's because they are NOT created the same way we are...and they are unable to communicate correctly and efficiently...which leads me to wonder just what the hell the optometrist performing this function thought he was gonna accomplish...I mean what the hell makes ya thing that giving a damn dog an eye test is gonna provide you with the necessary information required to prescribe contacts...I can see it now...read the first line Duke...Woof...and now the second line...woof...woof...and the third line...can you read that one...woof...woof...(whimper...whimper)...woof...NOPE...looks like you blind as the bat I had in here last week...then ya jam contact lenses into his pupils...and what...send him out the door without a seeing eye human...of course he is gonna get hit by a car...stupid damn dog probably lost a contact lens in the middle of the street while he was chasing a ball...why do you think they put racing horses down when they get injured...because prosthetics aren't suitable for horses...ya know where this idiot graduated from medical school...Cal-Tech's LSD institution of HIGHer learning...because just like those dipshits we mentioned yesterday that thought they were playing music and making movies...you don't make unsound medical decisions when you are sober...I mean for all this dumbass knows...he got the prescription wrong and the poor dog stumbled out into the road...while the whole time he thought he was in the backyard with Jake the cat...who by the way was sitting on the fence by the road...grinning from ear to ear...whispering...NO...over here Duke...that is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard...contact lenses for dogs...or any pets for that matter...makes me wanna get my good clothes on and go sit in the woods at night howling at Squatches...I hadda blind cat once...you know what I did to help his vision...I opened the door when he wanted to go out...or come in...same as I would do for any of my pets regardless of vision problems...because here's the thing...I like every one of my pets...but they are replaceable...and until Veterinarian visits start resulting in prices less than that of a bullet...I'm gonna stick to my guns and let the little bastards fend for themselves...not children...I'm NOT gonna spend thousands of dollars at some dipshits office making sure my pet is in good health...especially a DOG...they eat their own shit...there isn't any amount of medical attention gonna solve that problem...premature death seems evident...and if it just so happens it's a blind pet I'm NOT particularly fond of...the last thing I'm gonna do is buy it corrective eyewear...I'm probably hopin' it won't come back home...I know I'm the cruel...cold hearted ...mad bastard...up north to most of you folks...but this kinda shit pisses me off...10 to 1 odds the owner of this particular dog...spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on trying to help his pet see better...yet turned up his nose at broke ass Joe on the street corner...who lost his legs and job 8 months ago...due to a roadside bomb in Fallujah...lost his wife and kids 6 months after that...and is struggling to make ends meet while living in a cardboard box with all the other disabled veterans our government has swept under the rug...on top of that...I'm bettin' this particular pet owner hasn't made one significant contribution to society... as a matter of fact their probably a trust fund baby that inherited all of their money and hasn't had a single grain of filth beneath their fingernails...these people make me sick...and I've known a few of them in my lifetime...knew a family once...spent $3,000 on corrective surgery for their Great Dane because it had hip displaysia...their daughter on the other hand was denied the oral equipment she required in the form of braces...and was allowed to continue being ridiculed at school for having a mangle mouth...we don't communicate anymore...I guess my opinion of...WTF guys get your priorities straight...wasn't very well appreciated...and honestly I couldn't give a shit less...I need more f**ktards in my life...like I need the federal government combing thru my ass hairs with a hog hair toothbrush...what is it with humans anyway...why are they so compassionate towards animals on the one hand...and so violent against them on the other...I mean for instance...if your dog can't see...you run out and try to get it contact lenses...but if your dog bites somebody in self defense...everybody wants to kill it...they're f**kin animals you idiots...they have issues just like we do...if you beat your pet for being disobedient or acting aggressively towards others you end up in jail for animal abuse...yet if you don't control your pet and they attack somebody...you go to jail for neglecting to control your pet...it's ridiculous...I don't get it...if you buy something from a store...take it home and enjoy it for several years before it develops a problem that is irreparable...whaddaya do with it...toss it out and get a new one...you don't keep paying to try and fix the old one...it's the same with pets...they are going to die eventually and require replacement...save your money and buy a better model next time...and for the love of all creatures...STOP trying to perform procedures on them that can NEVER be proven to work...and repay your parents...they worked hard for that money you wasted!!!
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