Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Thrones & Stones!!!

Prince Charles collects toilet seats...

Well doesn't that beat all...apparently the Crown Jewels just aren't enough...NOW he needs a multitude of man ham seating arrangements for when he gets kicked outta the runnin for the real throne...what the hell could he possibly want with toilet seats...I mean of all things to collect he chooses ass catchers...no wonder Diana left his ass...ugly mistresses and shitty hobbies...that's enough to drive anyone away...whaddaya think he uses them for...an asshat...whadda dumbass...I guess it could be worse...Dubya tried to collect WMD...can't imagine why that failed so miserably...probably got the same bad intel as old Charles there...only Charles misunderstood WMD to stand for...Weapons for Monarchial Dumbasses...and he got more than his fair share before shit got too deep in the desert...why on Earth would you collect the seats your subjects have been planting their asses on...that isn't a hobby...it's a freaky ass fetish...literally...where do ya suppose he keeps them all...at the palace...does he have a whole closet full on a rotating rack...so he can just go in and hit a button until the one that catches his eye comes along...that's beyond odd...that's something you'd expect from somebody who's a few jester's shy of being able to hold court...I don't understand where the hell these people get off...collections of ridiculous shit...and for what a footnote in the history books signifying eccentricity...collect something worthwhile dipshit...like enough coins to regain control of a lost empire of which you are only a figurehead...with no authority...and apparently too much time on your hands...makes ya wonder...are the Crown Jewels backed by toilet seats...completely useless...kinda like the currency system here in the States...printed on high quality ass paper...I can't for the life of me figure out what went wrong in this mush melon's cranial chamber...ya don't normally collect things that have little resale value...it's like throwin' your money in the commode...I don't get it...I mean I collect things...like masks from all around the world...phone numbers from willing...or at least severely inebriated females...you know things that have a value attached to them...toilet seats NEVER even entered the picture of possibility when I decided what I would like to adorn my walls with...NOT that I hang random numbers on my walls...that would be stupid...I hang those on telephone poles so everyone can enjoy them...packaged with nice little WANTED posters...see ya just can't do that with toilet seats...NOBODY would take ya seriously...might as well stand there with the damn things around your neck like a human horseshoe pin...RINGER or LEANER...you be the Judge...I knew there was a reason the British Empire couldn't handle there own business during the Wars...they were too busy stockpiling toilet seats for the future King of F**kdumb...it's gonna be damn hard to eradicate stupidity if we continue to allow it to climb to the upper echelons of royalty and political offices...I can't even take those people over there seriously...buncha crumpet munchin teabaggers...I still don't understand why we didn't wait until the whole damn island was sacked before we went and saved their asses...they still think they're better than everyone else...got the same sense of humor as a dry stick of kindling...the only things worth saving in England are the Benny Hill and Monty Python films...maybe I'm way off base here...some of you might see something else of value from across the pond...but I personally don't see it...when the heir to the Throne is collecting things people pass caca thru...the outlook for you and your countrymen has got to be rather bleak and disheartening wouldn't ya think...I dare say I wouldn't follow my country's figurehead if he were a toilet seat collector...thankfully he's just a birth certificate dodgin'...former goat herder who's on his way out...waiting to be replaced by the next Great White Dope...I can't wait to see what type of tyrannical...toilet seat sniffin'...friend of England we get next...ten to one it's somebody who couldn't catch common sense in a bucket if it fell like rain...Happy Humpday!!!

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